You had a legit argument, don't let anyone here intimidate you into not expressing yourself. If we want our kids to grow up with control over their emotions we need to control ours. If there was a problem with this kid prior to the incident, then it would appear the problem is now with her attitude of screaming at the kid. Either way it was your observation, nothing more.

I grew up with a mother that could not control her temper. To this day it makes me want to grab that parent and talk some sense in to them, of course I don't. Well I did object once years ago and the woman went off on me, her kid cracked up and she hauled off and slammed him and the store manager called the cops.

what was going on b4 they entered

was the kid being a he1lian in the vehicle

did he eat things that should not have been eaten

does he do this on a regular basis and then whine for something to eat later

no i do not think anyone but them know the whole story

and what right is it of anyones to say haow another is to raise their kids

it is not like she was beating him with a stick or something

she is within her right to discipline the kid if it is her kid

myself i would have just not got him anything and when/if he whined for something later i would say fix yourself a peanut butter sandwich

but that is me and obviously that is not her (what the heck he was saving her money)


but hey what do i know

Adj4u,

IMO, as a single mom of a child, those questions don't matter.

I wouldn't have cared how my child acted before they entered, in the vehicle, regular basis, whole story, etc. All that matters is that she yelled at the child in a public establishment. I still would not have yelled at my child in public. I have never done such a thing to do this day.

I would have taken the child out of the building and talked to them outside. If possible, I would have taken them home and fed them some real food.

Btw, I have a child that won't eat McDonalds. No biggie. We don't go there. I have food in the car.

Wow, that poor child.

if a child does not want (yelled) at in public they should listen in public

how many teens are in a life of crime because of the lack of discipline

sorry i am on the moms side on this one

maybe there may have been a better way to handle it

but it is her kid not anyone elses and she was not beating him

and anyone can have a bad day

imo the restaurant manager should have asked them to leave (kids being he11ians is worse than eating in a smoking section of the restaurant and i do not smoke)

there should be no kids sections

i personally think it's terrible to publicly humiliate a child. i would have just let him make a sandwich at home or eat an apple.

i think yelling, period, is wrong. i also don't believe in "punishment". negative reinforcement, yes...but not punishment. there is no rhyme or reason to punishment...a child can receive it for anything under the sun, but with negative reinforcement, they know exactly what's coming and why.

time-out shouldn't be punishment. it should be a time for the child to get control of themselves and think about the situation. i place myself in time-out on a regular basis, heh...to AVOID yelling at my babes.

and i have to wonder...if she's yelling at them in mcdonald's, just what is she doing at home?

I wondered the same thing....if she's yelling at them in McDonald's, what does she do behind closed doors.

hey voice your opinion .. thats what this space is for.. besides it may help a NEW mom/dad someday if they read everyones opinion.. ??
sometimes i wish when my kids were little i had something like this to fall back on.. instead of wingin it..!!

I will admit that the kid might have been causing issues on the way over, all day, whatnot but:

1: why did they go to mcdonalds anyways?

2: That does not excuse her actions in the establishment.

3: That does not change the fact that I have the right to be upset at her actions during my dinner.

I apologize for making cracks about her weight and wearing a miniskirt (even if i don't feel that her attire was appropriate and can tell you what color her underwear were that day.)

I was raised to dress appropriately when going out. Now at home is a whole nother story even though I still dress appropriately at home as well. So while she had the right to punish him for whatever reason, I have the right to be upset that she was disrupting ppls dinner by yelling at him in public.

Yes discipline starts in the home. Start early, when mine were tots;
If they would reach for something they were not supposed to touch, smack them on the hand. Did something they were not supposed to do, smack them on the bottom.

Their Mother and I were firm but loving, never yelling, Unless they were in another room or outside and cannot hear us. (There is a difference in Yelling at and Yelling to).

By the time my children were able to comprehend complete sentences, we did not have to smack hands and bottoms. They knew what good behavior was, how to act in public and giving everyone around them the same respect they would want given to themselves.

Once back in 2001 while christmas shopping my son REALLY wanted a toy, I forget what it was, he had is own money but we had a deal; If you want it that is fine it is your money, but do not get five things and only have the money to pay for four. He knew, after all, that we were there to buy presents for others. Of course six year old mind forgot about others when he had to have the latest line "whateveritwas". We got to check out and there he was five figures only able to afford four. He started to plead, I told him no, he started to cry, I told him no. He started to cry loudly, this was new, I leaned in close and whispered, "If you want to cry loud I can spank you in front of these people."
His cry stifled he bought four figures and we left.

That was the only time my children misbehaved in public. My son on the other hand got that figure in his stocking that year.

like i said i would have handled it differently but she is in charge of her child

to discipline as she sees fit (as long as it is not physically hurting him more than for a few moments)

if he is acting this way in public how does he act in private

that line can go both ways

in 10 years when the adult version of said child commits crimes who is to blame (parents nowa days cant win if they doe the disipline they are abusing their kid if they dont and they become a criminal they should have raised them different)

maybe she should just take the kid and drop him off at dhs

don't forget...even parents have bad days. i won't ever condone physical abuse or calling a child names etc to put them down. but I know I have had bad days at times. who even knows if the mom felt bad afterward and spoke to her child about it and apologized? no one is perfect even adults

Going back to your point of time outs. This seems to be quite a common parenting tool (and even one recommended by so called experts e.g. supernanny) but am not sure it helps in the long run.

When children missbehave they often do so for attention really. And what they are after is a greater attachment to you (even fleetingly). Having time outs is the opposite. You are creating detachment.... In ten years time when your children have an issue or problem, you think they are going to turn to you? Unlikely.

I find the best way is engagement. Spend a minute (even if you have to get out of the line-up). Get their attention. Make eye contact first (how may times during time outs do your children actually look at you). Make that connection and talk to them. Hug them. Get their engagement and then move on. Those around you will likely let you back in the line. And also, more often will start engaging with you and your children. It turns a good trip into a better trip. Meeting and talking with new people etc...

Would welcome views on this.

i like this...a child should be connected with their parents, and it's a good thing for the parent to put themselves into the shoes of the child and see through their eyes. there'd be less misbehavior if this were a regular occurrence.

my only negative thought is this: if the child sees the hug as a "reward" for their behavior, then they may repeat said behavior just for the hug.

this isn't an issue if you truly are connected with your child.