it depends on the type of separation. if the guy just bolted and they both agree it's over, i'd consider it. if the guy was a head case and the woman tossed him out, that would be harder to accept. sometimes guys don't want to let go and they can get pretty psycho when they see "their girl" with another guy.


. . .

That depends. Is the person you're about to date a flake? A lot of wimmins are like that, you know?

SO does this mean each has to have celibacy until their divorce is granted...

FOR all those who say "they are married until divorced", I wonder how many who are pending a divorce "here" are being good and staying dateless and regaining their virginal status again to only lose again after being divoiced.

I dont think dating is such a problem, as being company for each other, having dinner etc, in the open, as one has nothing to hide if they and everyone else knows they are gettting divorced in the nearest of futures...

AS I am sure the other partners is too kicking up their heels with another somewhere...

Nope, because if there is a chance to save a marriage, they should take it!

IF marriage is pending a divorce, I would think they already have done the pros and cons to why it is better to part.

If one has fallen out of love or it is an abusive/unhealthy marriage why go down the same road, if nothing is going to change, nor are both willing to make it work, most times the past is not forgotten and can become the very thing that destroys it again, cause it gets thrown into each others faces.

Does one think it is better to leave a marraige while each can still retain respect and friendship with the other... or stay until hate kills it all off.

ALL have but one life to live, so one should take chance when it comes their way, if one finds another who they hav feelings for, why put it on hold... if at the end of the day the divoice is going to happen anyhow.

if there is the slightest possibility of saving the marriage then the parties should not have sex with other people. IMO
it could make things very akward when/if they get back together knowing that the other was quick to jump into another's bed.


. . .

absolutely. i'd date anybody if i liked them. regardless of marital status.

Yes, providing:

- they are living apart
- they have commenced consultation with lawyer
- they have taken me to their home/family (proving there is no surprise partner still living there)

amazing

I was separated for 13 months. I did not date.

No way, no how, was it fair to bring anyone into my life when that was going on. Nor was it for six months after it was over. I needed to get stable with finances, to emotionally heal from the end of the relationship, and to truly be apathetic towards him. Until you are fully, totally and completely apathetic over a spouse... you have NO RIGHT to date. That is selfish and unfair to the people you meet.

So I'm not saying what I said without having been in the same situation.

Define "date".

I have dated/gone out with ladies that had a divorce pending.
Dinner, movies, light dating.

I do look at things differently, as I am not seeking a relationship, just people to do things with. Meet for coffee, find out the situation & judge from there. Know of divorces that went on for as long as 6 years. Walk a mile in those shoes.

I was married for 29yrs. My divorce only took 85 days from the day she said she was leaving until it was signed.

I say that to say this,,,,,I was glad to be free and be able to enjoy people again.
I did go on a dinner date before the divorce. I was not looking for a relationship, I just was enjoying being around a nice lady. I was honest about being separated and not yet divorced. There are times when dating or just going out are OK, I believe.

I didn't date when I was seperated. That was 8 years ago, almost 9.

Wait What am I talking about? I still don't date


But no, I don't think I would date someone that was seperated unless it is a circumstance beyond one's control, and it has been a while since they last slept in the same bed.

been there done that....never again....

I like to date available women.......some states considered adultery, illegal

That's why MARRIAGE takes two, and if there's a chance to save the marriage, it's definitely going to take two, but one to at least try.

done it before. Turned out terrible. I never will again.

I think it's unlikely, but....I wouldn't necessarily rule out the possibility entirely. It's a consideration, but not a mandatory deal-breaker.

if they are legally separated. it is documented and on record with the courts, but sometimes its not that parties choice on the length of time it takes. like if the other party is overseas and refuses to sign the papers.

there are always exceptions. such as woman abusers. they dont deserve to breath let alone a second chance.