Isolation.
Desolation.
Activation of a feeling.
Looking outward
seeing inward
and I feel the ghost of you.
Father I expected so much more from you.
All I got was sorrow in the end.
I don't even have a photograph
to remember you by
but you are there
in my mind.

Not accepted.
dejected I just keep on trying
to find an explanation.
In my mind
I can feel you mother with your finger
on my soul.
It's all so fucking sick
how you just try to control.
I thought I could depend upon
you but I was only fooling myself.

All alone I walk the streets of life
and try to leave it all behind
but late at night I wake and
cry and wish I could've had more.

More feeling
More love
More compassion
A good thought to think of.

I allowed the dysfunction of
my childhood to creep into
my soul where anger, fear, and desparaton
made themselves a home.
Mom and Dad
I don't hate you.
I don't blame you
for my ability not to
feel a single fucking thing!

Doctor gave me a pill,
said it would take it all away.
Gotta say the shit didn't work
cos at times my father I feel
just as dead as you are in your grave.
Mother, mother always looking out
for yourself. I hope you think
of me and cry at night like I do
but I doubt it cos you have to
feel to cry. All I'm left
with are the questions why.

Note- I really experienced this shit.
My father abandoned me for over 10 years
and my mother really tried to fuck me
up emotionally. I thank God that good
people out there saw my situation
and got me the fuck outta there.
I got taken away from my mother
because of their efforts and
I went to live with my grandparents,
where I finally got to live a normal life.
My life was saved by good people who cared.

nice..WILL

hey jimi i feel you on that one but it was the outher way around for me
and dad was bad

Hummm, have to say once again you have touched the heart and I can feel
the hurt. For my mom passed away when I was only a baby, my dad was
never bad to us. Instead his way of dealing with things was he became a
truck driver going cross country. Therefore, our grandmother took upon
herself to pretty much raise my brother and me. In between the times my
dad decided to set up what he called a home with different ones. Each
time we moved back to be with granny it was nothing but a blessing.