When i got pregnant i was already broken up with the father. Over the course of the pregnancy he came and went and came and went..first it was yes we will be a family and then it was thats not even my kid. He told family services that we had never had a relationship, denied paternity, refused to take the test, never showed for court and has never contributed to the raising of this child. My daughter just turned 2 and he showed up at my door. I just want this guy gone..as far as i am concerned he made his decision. He is a professional criminal and has many anger issues as well as being in and out of jail..I am trying to get a legal document stating that i am her custodial parent. the police have told me that because he has not harmed me that there is nothing to be done.. am i wrong in wanting him to disapear? My daughter is not a pet, he cant just come and go. I would rather she was only disapointed once in not having a father than destroyed over and over again by him breaking promises and leaving her again eventually. Any advice?

Since he denied paternity, he doesn't have a legal right to see her. You can deny visitation. If he choose to push the issue and takes you to court, You can present that he has not been a part of her life for 2 years. If you can concerned about her safety and well-being, if/when he takes you to court for visitation, be sure to get an attorney and fight for full custody and possibly to terminate his parental rights.

Good luck!


Oh, you are in canada. I don't know if this is also valid in canada. See an attorney for your rights. BTW you might want to clean up your profile, that information can be used against your charater.

If he is the father you can not terminate his parental rights only because he is in and out of her life. My son's father was the same way for awhile. The court granted him joint custody. The only reason they will terminate his right is if he is unfit parent.

Good luck to you...

In the state of Michigan, if they are out of the child's life for 6 months or more, then you can go to court to have their parental rights terminated.

Interesting.

Did they change the rule?? I was told he had to not pay child support for at least a year or see him for said year in order to have paternal rights terminated. He always manages to pay some lil pidly amount just before the year is up and I'm gearin up to take him to court.

I'd say go to court establish legal custody and if movin is an option, go for it. That's what I did, ain't seen hide nor hair of the donor in over 6yrs now.

Last time I looked into it, abandonment was 6 months. I think each court does something differently.

Gonna have to call my FOC caseworker in St. Clair county and find out about that one. Maybe finally I can so something so my son can relax and not worry about the butthead poppin in his life.

My son's case is through SCC FOC too! I found out about the 6 month thing by googling it and it popped up on a State of Michigan website.

Personally, if you two do not reside under the same roof together, call the police next time he appears on your property and have him given a notice for trespassing. Then, if he wants to fight for custody, let him hire a lawyer, petition the courts, get it on the docket and explain to the judge why he denied paternity and refused test. It sounds like he won't bother to go through the process or come up with the $$$ needed to follow through.

BTW - once law enforcement serves a trespass notice on him, if he steps onto the property he will be arrested.

Good luck.

i believe you are in the right all the way. if he truly cared abou tyour child he would never have denied her. if he'd do it once he'd do it twice. why put her through that? my daughter just turned 6 weeks old and her fathe ris kinda the same. last 6 months of my pregnancy he told everyone what a whore i was and how that baby was not his and bla bla...now all the sudden he starts threatening me to take her away from me when he is the one on drugs with no place to live. men like these are better off not having a relationship with our kids.

very good advice. it would cost him more money to do this....not to mention child support

Well, to play devil's advocate for a moment, perhaps he's grown up, matured, whatever and realizes that he not only needs but wants to take responsibility? We're all about daddy-bashing here but we don't have his side of the story. Yup, maybe he made a bigass, huge, painful mistake. But, what if he wants to make amends? Children should not grow up without their parents unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Maybe he's willing to step up. He should be given every opportunity to forge a relationship with his child.

Or maybe not? But you never know til you try. People do learn and grow and change.

thanx everyone for the advice..i just want others to know that i am not a vindictive ***** and i would never intentionally cut out a father from my childs life IF he was a productive, positive parent. I would be more than happy to have her know him but only under the following conditions..he would have to have a real job that he could actually maintain for a long period of time, would have to take a parenting course and an anger mgmt counselling..etc.. Oviously there was a point where i thought that he was a great person with a good heart as i chose to be with him..He is just not good at making smart decisions and has no impulse control..time will tell.. BUT he needs to understand that her and I are like a company and I am the CEO--nothing to do with her gets done without clearing it with me first.. I am only doing my job by protecting her.

I'm sorry that anyone has to go through this, because its not right at all, but Im also grateful you posted this. I go through a similar thing every few months when the guy wants to follow us when we are at the park and show up on our doorstep, and hes not a safe guy. So I like the advice that was given.