There are so many. I may be 50 going on 12, but this show ALWAYS makes me laugh





Mr. Garrison: Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.

Gregory: Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement.

Mr. Garrison: Well, I’m sorry, Wendy. But I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.

Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of semen, Cartman.

Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.

Stan: That's cool.

Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.

"Respect My Authority!"

Stan: You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.


Kyle: I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.

bastards, they killed kenny!!!!

my favorite quote of all time...

"My name is Stephen Abootman, head of the WGA... the Wold Canadian Bureau."

Benjamin Franklin: I believe that if we are to form a new country, we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent to the rest of the world. However, we also cannot be a country that appears weak and unwilling to fight, to the rest of the world. So, what if we form a country that appears to want both.

Thomas Jefferson: Yes, yes of course, we go to war and protest going to war at the same time....

Benjamin Franklin: And that means that as a nation, we could go to war with whomever we wished, but at the same time act like we didn't want to. If we allow the people to protest what the government does, then the country will be forever blameless.

John Adams: It's like having your cake and eating it too.

Anonymous Hick Redneck Founding Father: Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying one thing and doing another.

John Hancock: And we will call that country the United States of America.

I just saw that one again last night!

hhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyydddddddddiiiiiiiiiii hoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! hi kyle! if you're really good, i'll put fiber in your toilet on christmas morning

TIMA--TIMA===TIMA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMiMc3HrY4Q

I'm as gay as a gymnast on shore leave!

funny as **** song by terrence and phillip
shut your ****ing face uncle ****er
your a boner biting bastard uncle ****er
your an uncle ****er yes its true
nobody ****s uncles quite like you
shut your ****ing face uncle ****er
your the one who ****s your uncle uncle ****er
you dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn you just **** your uncle all day long
*farting bit*
shut your ****ing face uncle ****er
your a boner biting bastard uncle ****er
your an uncle ****er i must say
you ****ed your uncle yesterday
AAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
uncle ****er
thats u-n-c-l-e **** you uncle ****errrrrr!!!!!! suckmyballs

That's not smog it's smug!




Thanks to your gay little song we have the second smuggiest city in America!

I wonder what Brian Boitano would do

Officer Barbrady: You can't just lock 63 people in your basement.

Cartman: They're not people, they're hippies!

Stan: What's Meecrob?

Cartman: You know that stuff you get as an appetizer at Thai food restaurants.. Yeah dude Meecrob is way grosser than sh!t dude, I'd scarf down a whole wet bucket of sh!t before eating another plate of Meecrob...

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the only way to fight hate....is with more hate

Cartman: I'm going to use fear to get people to do what I tell them.
Bart Simpson: Isn't that, like, terrorism?
Cartman: No, it's not like terrorism, it IS terrorism.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/

Enjoy.