you chillin Purple?

ya , but my footiez are warm

Dear diary, and my freinds. I got the call this morning accepting me at my new job. I leave for orientation sunday night. They put me up in a hotel for 3 days while I get poked, prodded, and investigated and educated into their ways of doing things. By wednesday I should be rolling large. I was offered quite a compensation package. And a 2000 dollar bonus paid in extention increments (which I didn't know about). And they wrote up a contract to let me have the sturgis motorcycle rally off unpaid because I have already paid for reservations. So if I want to go- I can. Its not much and not what I'm used to, but I'm surprised. Its better than nothing. I wrote down 2 pages of preparations. Life gets wierd starting yesterday. I'm going to be busy. Its going to be a whole new challenging world for me. I definitely wasn't planning on starting all over in life at 43. But I also wasn't planning for my job to disappear after 17 years of slave labor and unfathomable degredation. I compare it to the captain of the titanic handing me the controls and saying "You deal with it, I'm going to the virgin islands to sit on the beach"! I've been f*cking high siding the titanic and patching holes and bouncing off icebergs at full throttle for 7 months. And its been one disappointing disaster after another. I'm like "F*ck this sh!t! Abandon ship. Every man for himself". But the piece of sh!t floating turd just won't sink! I sit on the iceberg and watch it go around in circles bouncing off icebergs. Its not sinking fast enough for me. I'm trying to figure out how to load this 18 inch battle gun and fire a volley into the port bow and sink the f*cker and put it out of its misery. Because I really want to see the end. I want to revel in its demise to the finish. I want a finale fireworks display par none so I can get some sort of closure from all this to satisfy my closure of 17 years of my life. And the simple do not understand this. They can't. They do not have the 17 years invested. Nor have they walked 3 million f*cking miles in my shoes just to be sh!t on by the captain of the sinking turd. I don't expect them to understand. I just hope they never have to experience the helplessness and hopelessness I had to. That's all.

So I start a new chapter of my life diary. Full of new challenges and unchartered waters in a new ship equipped with all the correct gear to navigate and succeed. Let's hope the next 17 years go better than the last.

Dear diary.........




I want my MTV!!



<------gnaws on a banana

Dear diary......If I was a geisha girl........how would I get my face imprint out of someones pillow???


Spray and wash??? Oxyclean???

Dear D, in other news its just been one of those typical days. Mechanical failure day around the house. The toilet tank filler valve. I did get it fixed. Then there's the vaccuum cleaner. My 7 year old eureka true hepavac vaccuum cleaner has got some miles on it. Its sucked more in its life than justin timberlake ever could imagine. Its sucked more than any vegas prostitute could ever hope to. And its sucked more than some droll question threads that have been put on here. That f*ckin vaccuum cleaner sucked baby!!! And you know me. I serviced that sonovab!tch like clockwork with filter changes and lubed bearings and cleanings. Well that ole eureka vaccuum cleaner died today in the line of duty. It truly gave its all! I mean I've had belts break and replaced em along with other maintenence stuff. This vaccuum cleaner just didn't die. It went out in a blaze of glory and explosions. It was so f*cking cool!!! The bearings went out in the drive. It squeeled, started smoking, then exploded on fire. House smells like burnt plastic- and I got candles burning and windows open. But I gotta laugh. I got my one hundred and sixty seven bucks outta that f*cking vaccuum cleaner. And then some! I salute my eureka vaccuum cleaner!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Im very sorry about your vacuum!!! Vacuum funerals are the worst!!!

Why.....I remember the time when my cigarette roller died after 8 years of use. I could never replace it....it was a sad moment!!

My computer is going to die soon.....it will be a sad sad day!!

Dear diary..........my name is Chair......again!!!!

I cant get up.....because I am a chair!!!

The funny thing about the vaccuum is that 2 years ago my parents bought me a new hoover hepavac vaccuum cleaner. Its new in a box in my storage garage. Time to bust that bad boy out! Out with the old. In with the new!

I'm hungry.......

why does this keep happening??????

Youre not going to start wearing sweater vests now are you???

I have no idea........

Did I even sleep last night???

No sweater vests. Unless ezras cat sheds on me. I vaccuumed 2 pounds of that cats hair outta my studio today. CATHAIR killed my vaccuum and I don't even own a cat. And I'm the one whose crazy.

I'm hungry too. Leftover limosine beef n noodles, then shower. Then get new vaccuum. Then go to bank. Then pay bills. Then pack bags. Then more house cleaning.

Dear diary........friends of mine want me to go out with them tonight to a COUNTRY BAR!!!

And they know I dont like cowboys....and their stupid cowboy hats and their stupid cowboy boots and belt buckles........gaaaaaaaaaaawd kill me now!!!

But I guess it gets me OUT of the house...

I dont think you slept last NIGHT but you may have napped a little this MORNING

YA I will power nap later.....I was just so wound up from that "team" meeting at work last night.....