When my wife passed away from a serious illness March 14, 2007, she had a blackout seizure and accidentally overdosed on her medications while I was at work.

I have been on 2 dates since then and it seems like the women I have picked could not live up to my expectations.

What I expect is for a lady to accept the fact that my son comes first in my life. He is 4 yrs old.

The first one I really wasn't ready for and she couldn't understand, oh well. The second, she tried to get me to put her first and put my son on the back burner.

That wasn't going to work, I told that and she started yelling at my son every time he did something wrong no matter what it was.

I put my foot down on that and broke it off with her. I don't know what it is with women. Are my expectations to high?

What my expectations are:
1. Accept the fact that my son comes first or if she has children, then the children come first, my son included.
2. A lady who is responsible: knows that bills, food and childrens needs come first before going out or likes to stay at home to have dinner and cuddle on the couch to watch a movie.
3. A lady who likes to talk about problems instead of arguing over nonsense and get into a yelling match.

I have alot more, but will post them in a different topic.

Never settle for less than what you want. I don't think you are asking for too much at all. Good luck to you.

I don't think you are being too picky- you want what you want and you should have it.

Any person dating someone with a child needs to understand that they are not #1- the child is- that is a given

However.........are you sure you are ready to date? it has not been long since your wife passed away. Have you healed? Just asking- if you are not ready to be on the dating scene- noone is going to be good enough. Why not take some more time and take time for you and your son. The right one will come along.

I only expect people to be people

Your profile says that you're a stay at home dad...does that mean you work from home or don't work and one of the expectations is that the woman will support you and your son?

No you are not too picky, but.... You had two dates and you figured all of that out so quickly? More likely they heard and processed your "expectations" and ran for the door.

Try and get to know people then GRADUALLY try and let them know what your expectations and see if you are a fit. If you go on a date with a laundry list of what you are looking for it ain't gonna be a fun time.

You are expecting waaaay to much Mirror!

lol

I've been on a couple of dates that I wasn't sure if the women were human or android...

yeah...I went out with one or two of their brothers.

aLittlebird,
I am looking for work right now. I quit the job that I had in 2006 when my wife started getting sick. I tried to go back here recently, but they aren't hiring now. I have had jobs working for independent contractors installing carpet and flooring, nut I am looking for something steady because I plan on going to college to get a degree in Accounting. I do not expect any woman to support me or my son. It is my job to not only support my son, but a woman as well. I guess i am just old fashioned that way...lol

One can not place expectations too high. This would apply to either males or females looking for potential long term mates or at the very least, a serious monogamous commitment.

You have your needs and thats that. However you must also understand that some of your requirements are subjective. Number 3 in particular is a potential problem waiting to happen. What if your woman feels that her issues are NOT nonsense? How receptive are you being to her needs at that point? If she has an issue and you feel it is not important enough to discuss, that will only lead to a feeling of exasperation on her part and arguing which is exactly what you claim you dont need or desire.

So my suggestion on Number 3 is to simply modify that one and leave it flexible and open. Number 3 will be a work in progress. You want to keep the lines of communication open and realize this is a two way street. What normally leads to the dreaded "shutting down" and continued argument and discourse in a relationship is that one or both parties feels that they are not being heard and acknowledged.

Hope this helps but it probably wont. Good luck.

Children should always come first Darin so I respect you for that.You sound like a guy with high morals so I am pretty sure you will meet the right woman for you when the time is right.I wish you and your son well and hope happy times are ahead of you

Geez... When I go on first dates we usually have a cup of coffee and flirt.

You certainly will have your hands full!

but remember...You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.

I think you need to go on dates with out the expectations that they are the one? You really don't have to have a list to date someone. I honestly just think its crazy that everyone expects so much when they just go to dinner with someone anymore.
You do not have to say what you expect because its just a simple date. My question is this...do you go out with someone and think, COULD THIS BE THE ONE FOR ME? If you are thinking this on the first date or even the second date, maybe you are not ready to date.
I have a friend that has her wedding planned right down to where all the people will sit at the reception...now all she needs is the groom. So every single date she goes out on, she thinks COULD HE BE THE ONE? OMG ITS JUST A DATE!!!!
Maybe you are afraid of being alone and having to raise your son alone? I would rather be alone then with the wrong person!
Take your time and I think you honestly need more time to get over your wife that has passed away.
Good Luck

Will you marry me and have my babies?

LOL How are you doing?? HMM Should I fix you up with my friend? The wedding is already planned, so you just have to show up!!

I'm doing well, you? So what are we going to do with the groom? Oh yeah, I should probably get my vasectomy reversed.

I actually went on a FIRST date a few years back when the lady brought up whether or not I wanted kids. I told her that I had closed up shop so ummm, no... She then said, "if you really want to be with someone badly enough you can get that reversed...."

Interesting

I don't think I would have walked out on your first date...I think I would have ran!!
I think IF I went out on a first date and they mentioned having kids with me...I honestly think I would walk out the door. To me that is showing me they want to jump right into a relationship and thats a scary thought to me!!
I am actually doing very well. My son is getting engaged tomorrow, so I finally get the daughter I never had