Have you been with a person who has this disorder or has ADHD........and was it successful or am I putting all my eggs in one basket.............I am in a relationship with a man who has this disorder and it has been frustrating and there have been challenges.......I dont know if I am strong enough to go through such a complicated disorder but I know he is the most amazing man that I have ever met and I wouldnt choose another but life is full of sh!t and it get complicating..............so how do I handle this.....

i have attention deficite dis..


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Does he interrupt you alot and/or talk over you?

Depends on the degree........Ive known people I cant handle being around. I sometimes think Im ADD or ADHD because I think of a million things all at once.

No he is the quite type.......he is always so reserved im always trying to get a convo out of him............he get this tunnel vision thats what I call it but it hyperfocus thats what I have learned and when he is with anyone he gives his all............but that only is good when its about you when he does it to others then it get irritating.......lol

I think I know what you mean. This man I know, you can talk to him while he's doing something very simple, but he doesn't hear what I say because he's focusing so hard.

Yeah and I think it has taken me a long time to realize that........I used to think that it was some annoying quirk that he did.........but I just decided in the past couple of days to read up on it.........because he makes it an issue of how he is but he doesnt make it be an issue and so I have overlooked it........

As a s/o should I get more knowledge on it or should I treat it as a challenge?

Winx you got it and at first I didnt think of it as ADD i just thought he was a jerk and now that I have chosen to get enlightened i see that its just not a jerk syndrome...........do you think that I should talk to him about ADD it seems like he wants to but he has had such negative feedback from his fam that I think he thinks I will do the same.....

I think if he drives you crazy.......now, I would get out of the situation.

It gets on my nerves. I'm becoming more understanding though. I've learned to be patient. He told me to make sure he's looking at me when I talk, then I know that he hears me. The part that really bothers me is when he interrupts me or talks over me.

I guess that he told you he had it. I don't see why you shouldn't talk to him about it. It would help you understand him better. That's just me though.

I see what you mean but he has been a good man to me and i have overlooked that he has challenges that i dont have and im willing to work through this because i think he is an amazing man and he hasnt been with someone who tells that to him everyday other than me.........i just think we need to take the idea of ADD more seriously than we have........I have been with this amazing man for a year but I thought his ADD didnt matter but it does.........and i wont be a woman who falls into this line of thinking that he is damaged goods because he isnt he just has a capability tht i dont have and i need to get educated on it...........but thanks for the advise

I have ADD, and sometimes it can be hard to focus on more than one thing...I've pretty much trained myself to the point where I can focus on two or three things at once. He might need medication, depending on how bad his case is. Or he might be able to get over it with effort.

First im grateful that im not the only one in a predicament.....lol......I have to say is that he has always made it his problem to save face and that was kind of him but when things started to change was when I noticed that his thinking I thought had changed I never once thought it was ADD and until this weekend thats when we sorta talked about it I knew that i should get more knowlegeable about it..............I have met the man of my dreams and he has a glitch and i am not going to leave him for it because it isnt his fault but for me to move on and work on this relationship I know that I have to educate myself............I dont have the same predicament but i know how that feel and you just need to study the disorder to at least see the signs.......Like i said i didnt see them because I wasnt aware but now that I know I want to do everything in my power to make us work and for him to feel his best.........too many people with this disorder have low self esteem and they dont know how to cope with how they feel...........I do know this that love is an antedote to some of it......

Yeah I didnt believe in meds but now I think he is a candidate for it and maybe we can see the progress at least.......ty

If he's special to you, it should work out. ADD shouldn't make that much of a difference, to me. It doesn't make him less intelligent. Someone explained it well on here one time. They said it felt like their brain had the TV remote and it was changing channels all of the time.

I have a female friend that has it. It's in her family. She does great with her meds.

Do you love him? is he a good guy?

With CBT, medications, and communication it can work. But don't you ever let him use his condition as an excuse. Ever... and don't do it for him.

His illness is a part of him, and to learn about his illness is to love him. My own personal experiences with the women in my life who have had mental illnesses (Damn near all of them) have been to be encouraging when depressed, and to attempt as best as possible to provide a more tranquil environment when the needle pegs. I've also learned to only think, "That's your illness talking", and never verbalize it. Every illness has its asset though. That hyperfocus is probably one of the more positive aspects, although it may seem rude. As long as you don't take it personal, you'll be fine.

He is an amazing man and he is talented and has such an openness that is intoxicating to anyone.......that is why I want to learn about the disorder so that I can see past that and understand him better....I know his disorder is one of the things that makes him a great person and a loving one......but since I thought of it as something he had to deal with on his own I thought he was managing it until a couple of weeks ago when I saw the change.....I guess for me i have to get the education that I need and see the disorder is what is causing him to be a certain way when he is off.....I am not excusing his behavior and I have told him that but I now know that sometimes its not him being selfish or self centered its his disorder....i now see that

i have some sort of disorder. i start a lot of things but don't finish them. i think it's a form of add. i had problems in school too. couldn't pay attetion for very long.
and i get bored with things easily.