... This is fascinating to me, let me explain: in the 'real world', I am a pretty successful guy at meeting new people (women), I'm not shy, very confident, and typically my approach, which is to just be myself, works extremely well ~ I'm a big believer in chemistry, and I tend to 'read' people extremely well, I can tell when a girl is interested, not, etc. However .... apparently my personality, appearance, or both, are much better in person, because on this website, I think I am around 2 for 10 ~ what the hey is going on ;) ! Is it that women on this site are hit on by such a huge number of men that they don't even feel it necessary to even respond at all ? Or is the line of etiquette her here that if you're not interested, just say nothing at all, don't waste your time responding ? Heck, I have no idea. So, has anyone else here seen that their 'real life' experiences are as different to this 'dating' experience as mine has been ? Just curious (not complaining, just trying to get a feel for this) ....

I don't know. But, I'm sure someone else will.

Dont really know what your problem is .

But do you want to chat about anything.

its competitive remember there is someone who is always better and when it doesn't work with them then they'll email you back

... good point.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. He's just bitter.

lol ok that's funny

You live too far away darn it.

I am basically a recluse in real life -- I deal with very few people -- and yet, up until a few years ago, never had problems with meeting new women -- mainly because I always had a few good-hearted, well-meaning, meddlesome female friends who made it their mission to find me the perfect match.

I am not a forward person, and would always insist on talking to someone on the phone for at least a week before meeting in person.

That worked well for me, at least in terms of quantity.

On line has been a very different experience. Ghastly, to be honest. Eight of the nine I've met from dating sites actually DID have their pants on fire when we met -- including the arsonist.

I would have serious reservations about ever meeting anyone from a dating site again.

My good-hearted, well-meaning, meddlesome female friends are older now, and their "prospect pools" have all gotten married or moved to Uzbekistan or turned lesbian or become fundamentalist something-or-others in the meantime.

I think my only realistic chance to meet anyone decent is to find a few new good-hearted, well-meaning, meddlesome female friends....

well its not about being that guy its true ...too much selection can spoil a persons thoughts,miss ruth is a great woman chat with her i'm not bitter just judged as a lemon

I think of you more as a lime.

corona

that's exactly what I was thinkin'.

I would agree, for the most part I feel the same way. But as time goes on you get used to it...

This is the norm. Mostly because most of us have gotten really nasty replies if we politely respond that we are not interested. Not replying is a form of self-defense when we are not interested.

In real life, I'm quite friendly and outgoing and can strike up a conversation with any stranger, although I prefer to spend my alone time alone. I've always been comfortable being by myself.

Meeting people online is no different than meeting people in real life. I am seldom - if ever - approached first. I am bold enough that it isn't a hardship, but I really would love to have a guy do a bit of chasing - just to see how it feels.

As far as responding to email, I've done my share of that and am tired of either being portrayed as a b!tch or a snob so I just don't respond to anything anymore, unless it's a forum poster that I recognize.

...send me an email cchristo and I will explain it all.

I will generally only respond to those I have seen posting in the forums. I don't really know why except that I just feel more comfortable talking with them. Maybe it's because I've already gotten a feel for their personality.

Hi

I've had the experience, and I've also been guilty of not replying to someone if they are not my type.

I tried to send nice replies of 'no thank you' -- to at least acknowledge the person -- but then I receive nasty message back because I'm not interested. I finally decided to just stop replying to avoid confrontation.

It's easier for people to throw manners out of the window on a dating site. A lot of times, with the messages I've received, the person doesn't even introduce themselves. If they were to approach me in person, I'm sure their overture would be much more socially acceptable.

I'm a stickler for genteelism. Regardless of how 'wonderful' the person seems that writes me, if they refer to me as "Hey you" or "Hey" in the subject line, I won't reply. I think that is truly impolite. Again, I doubt that is how they would get my attention at the store or gym. The internet is not an excuse to be loutish.

Think of the positive side of this equation. If the person doesn't reply, are they someone you would want to date anyway? That behavior is probably a small example of their total inconsideration.

Melody