It's been almost 10 years
since THAT day.
Both Dave and I thought
something was wrong,
but you just shunned us.

We get a call at home after work
saying that they found your truck parked on the highway,
and that you had killed yourself.

Two Deputies come to our door,
and are shocked to see two Deputies,
Dave, and I, looking back at them.

We knew you were going
through some very tough times, Jimmy
but we would have helped.
You left a girlfriend, your Mom,
your co-workers, and us-your roomies
wondering and crying.

I got rid of the things
you wouldn't want your Mom to see,
and we held our friends-your friends
closer that week than ever before.

We all swore that we'd have helped
if you'd have only let us.
And we would have.

I still see your girlfriend's face-
I did NOT want to meet her
for the first time at your wake.
It was awkward, to say the least.

I miss you, Bro.
We all do.
I hope we meet again
in that big 10-44
in the sky.










Suicide sucks.

My best friend hung himself in jail last October, and I know the pain you feel. I am truely sorry for your loss and pray that time will heal all of those who were hurt by this tragedy. So far 3 months has not been long enough.

elwoodsully

PrinceForbidden


For anyone else who carries this burden....

I know from my own experiences as a Firefighter-EMT/Chaplain how devastating this can be to Family and Friends...

I too lost one of my best Friends 20 years ago, when he pulled to the side of the road and ended his life...

On of my close Neighbors did the same thing while his Wife and Son were at Church last year...

To me, it is the ultimate act of selfishness...


Bro Clark, Chaplain
Living Waters Ministries

Thanks for the goodwill and words folks. Sadly, this isn't the only time my life has been touched by suicide.

My Dad's best buddy hung himself in his garage at 70+ years old. My Dad found him.

My best buddy Joe's buddy hung himself at work at 23 or so. His co-workers found him.

My uncle Thomas sucked on gas fumes when he was 35. My aunt found him in the morning.

My platoon Sergeant's son shot himself at 15. My Sgt. found him after we got off work.

I agree, it is selfish. No matter how dark things look, your friends and family will miss you.

What is devastating is the aftermath and effect that such a senseless act has on the family and friends that remain. The questions and what ifs have no answer and the pain never truly leaves those who were close.

Suicide a selfish act... I suppose it can be thought of that way.

I also read how those left behind feel like they are the victims. Truly we do miss our friends and family who leave us by any means.

I ponder if a person who commits suicide does not feel as if there is no hope for themselves.
This being said... would all of those "victims" left behind really have helped them... and if so why did they not help them before someone was so desperate to commit the ending of all hope of a living solution?

Could it be that they did not care enough to actually try... but only say this post mortem to redeem themselves?

Some people get too mixed up emotionally and or physically to want to breathe any more but mostly I think suicides are enabled, in part, by those who later say they would of helped who did not give a **** when it mattered.

These are my thoughts at this time.

I've lost two people to suicide. Last year it was my cousin's 24 year old son.

Depression that gets that low is difficult for others to understand.

So sorry for your loss

RWMountain, are you stupid? If signs of suicide are obvious, there are many people out there in the world that will try to help. Many people keep their emotions bottled up inside and do not share their depression issues until it is to late. As far as my most recent loss, we did try to help. We (my boss and myself) went as far as to take his medication from him and give it to him every morning, so he would not "forget" to take it. We told him to continue seeing his doctor, which he chose not to continue. I also spent many hours toward the end of his life counseling him and trying to let him know things would change. I always invited him over, because I know what depression feels like. For you to even think that someone would not help a dear friend or family member in a time of need makes me believe that you feel like there isn't anyone in your life who would help you in your darkest hours. Your post deeply offended me. I ask God everyday why there wasn't an answer for my friend. He had a good family, and good friends that were always there for him. That is why people call it a selfish act. When you are only concerned with your own life and do not care about what killing yourself will do to the rest of the world, that is selfish.

Depression is a mental illness. I'm sad that you see it as being selfish. Their depression doesn't allow them to see what they are doing to others. Their brain is in a fog and they are not able to find the way out. That's when they need professional help.

Well it is hard to express the truth of your thoughts without offending someone I suppose.
There are a lot of different minded people in the world. Their minds are shaped by their individual experiences and circumstances. I can not possibly cater to each possible emotional experience or circumstance and still express my own honest thoughts.

Realizing there will be some offended and critics of my thoughts has never deterred me from asking questions such as I asked in this topic... as questions, I question why they were considered offensive to one notable poster. They were only questions not accusations. I think my questions have true merit in many circumstances of suicide but perhaphs not in one posters personal experience.

The thing about personal experience is that it does not apply to everyone or every circumstance. The same as reasons for suicide are not all the same and can not all be explained by one experience.

My questions were of a general nature and not specific to a loss posted here or any other personal losses that other posters may have had a personal experience with.

I truly do ponder the questions I asked and meant no offense.

Nice write Elwood,,and I am sorry for your loss. As I to have lost friends to this..
Time heals but memories always stay in our heads and them in our hearts..

Thank you for showing us some of yours,wink.
And this subject is ALWAYS one to be aware of and to take notice to someone in need.....

very sorry for you loss



I had my best friend shoot him self 2 years ago.yes suicide does suck.

However it touches your life
one thing is true of each of us
and that is the resulting change
Once, we believed our thoughts to be right,
or good enough or whatever it was,
but losing somebody changes us.
We change for the better, I think,
in one and/or two ways.
One way is to be more thoughtful,
to be more understanding of the unknown
which is in each other person we "know"
Another way is to actively reach out,
to risk getting more directly involved.
Both things are an improvement in us.
One, or the other, or both results occur.
That is the goodness that can result,
and both things are more "on guard over"
people in our life circle.
When you find any good outcome like that
it is an honor to the departed
and not a shame upon we who remain.

elwoodsully very heartfelt and my heart goes out to anyone that has lost someone close due to suicide.

Now as far as the comments above and questions that was asked.

Is the one that commits suicide selfish? I guess in a way we could look at it that way for at the time that we loose them we feel that they did not take into consideration how this would affect us in the long run. But to label them as being selfish is judging them for their choices at the end. A moment within time no matter what we think they were not thinking clearly. Yes they thought at that moment they did not see any way out of where they were and all they wanted at that moment was peace.

So you see to call them selfish is not what they were they were desperate and due to that they could not in fact see what their actions would cause to those around them.

You know my self I use to have the same thoughts as RWMountain does and I could not in any way comprehend past those thoughts and questions. I use to wonder did no one see what was happening at the time. Did they ignore the signs and just figured they will be okay they are just going through some hard times. Is it in fact us who failed them instead?

So many questions and never enough answers. But what I have found out within my personal life is. No those signs are not always there. But yes we do tend to figure that when life has someone down it will all work out. But…….the problem with that is everyone deals with problems in a different way. You have those that no matter what they will get through it. Then you have those that at times that can not deal with everything that life has indeed thrown there way.

We can not read minds and no matter how hard we try we will never be able to understand how some deal with life’s problems. It is beyond our reach to know what in fact was going through that persons mind at the time they decided to end their life.

So who is to blame them for doing it, or us for not realizing at the exact moment that it happened? When it comes right down to it if in fact we just happen to be there within those moments of despair be it by luck, God or just the right timing.

There is not much we could have done to stop that moment within time. You see at that moment all they are thinking of is make the pain stop. I was one of the lucky ones I was there at the moment when my son 6 years ago had these feelings. Did I see the signs before that moment No I did not I had no clue what was going through his mind. And neither did his friends. It seemed as if it was a random act. But in fact there were things that he was dealing with he felt he could no longer handle them and at the moment he was hurting so bad within his mind he could not deal with the issues and with death he felt at least that way he would not hurt anymore. It just so happened I was there at that moment within time and was able to take the guns away from him and break through his thoughts of despair and help him see there was nothing we could not get through in life.

You see I have my son today only because I was there at that exact moment. Sure at times life gets him down and he feels the walls are closing in but… he also can see now that in fact no matter what it is or how hard things get we can in fact get past it within time.

To get angry at those that have questions of who actually let who down at that moment does not justify anyone’s actions.

What we need to realize is we should not to put fault upon anyone’s shoulders instead we should cherish the memories we have of those that are no longer here remembering the good things. And hold those within our arms close by that we were blessed to have been there to help them within that moment in time.

Elwoodsully sorry I did not mean to make this so long you’re poem is a wonderful tribute remembering a friend that left you with so many questions. Just remember the friendship before that moment and all the good times cherish those thoughts. And do not let his last moments haunt his memory.