i've been chatting with a girl who insists that looks shouldn't matter at all and that a man should be only concerned with the woman's personality and character.

i'm trying to tell her that it doesn't work that way and that men will always weigh how a girl looks. of course different men place more emphasis on this, but i believe that ALL men take this into consideration.

am i wrong?

If they tell you that they don't take looks into the equation at all...they're being less than truthful.

It works that way for everyone. Men and Women alike.

There HAS to be some level of physical attraction, even if others can't SEE it.

I think you're both wrong



We are all attracted to something different so in a way yes they do matter but I do not believe that all men weigh how a girl looks

Are you trying to get rid of her?

Why don't you just let her have her opinion and let it be.

that's what i think too.

true...we all have our opinion of what beauty is. Some like tall...some short....some thick....some thin....and so on...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It's not about what they look like really.

It's simply about your own physical attraction to them.


I know that seems like it would be me saying the same thing with two opposite answers, but you have to think about it to understand it.. Or maybe un-think about it.

The attraction may not be as physical as you might think. It could be something as subtle as the way someone looks at you or smiles at you or the way their eyes crinkle when they laugh. The eyes and smile may be the only physical attraction needed.

i think everyone weighs how a potential partner looks. i think that each person has their own preference for how important it is to them, but i don't think that anyone can say that looks do not matter one bit.

But that goes right back to what I stated, Winx.

There has to be some attraction, no matter how small it may be ( hair, eyes, smile ) for the interest to be there.

I know that there are millions of people out there who think they are different and don't do it. But they DO.

The only people who cannot base anything on a physical attraction ( ie hair, eyes, face etc ) would be blind people.

Even though you will see ( in all likelihood ) LOTS of people around here who will say that.

well hell ya were all "dorks" remember.!!!

Shshsh men are visual creatures they have been that way for century's now. Why try to change what we have figured out about them.

Besides I really hate to burst some bubbles but excuse me if a man does not appeal to me and I find some kind of attraction either his smile, his eyes or his sense of humor grabs me then sorry I doubt that I will give him a second thought.

At times it is not just the over all Beauty that even men look at maybe they have Beautiful eyes, or a sensual mouth, or killer legs or a smile that lights up their face or a body that want quit. Regardless if they do not appeal to them in some sort of way then they loose interest with them.

Then there is the fact that if there is and attraction if one can not hold ones attentions as far as having being intelligent as well again men/women will loose interest within them.

So even though I'm not male I do not see that you are wrong we all know what appeals to us and if it is not there it is not there.

But to remind all that what appeals to one may not appeal to the next person. So yes Beauty is within the eyes of the beholder.

Keep in mind that I am not trying to say it's a BAD thing to do.

obviously i am

Let me guess....shes ugly or doesn't have a pic of herself in her profile and you should like her for her personality???

ya me 2.!!!

thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay...got it..that's what you meant by "level of attraction". I'm going in that direction too then.

But..when someone looks at you a certain way -- that can make them look good in your eyes. That makes them attractive to you and it doesn't mean that they have to be a Ken or Barbie doll.

yep, she won't send a guy a pic until she gets to know him and thinks that he'll like her for her personality.

and i only asked why she didn't have any pics of herself, only anime pics. i didn't even ask for a pic.