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Topic: Friendship to the Doomed
scoundrel's photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:43 PM
It's a relationship. Friendship.
Best pal is crumbling into pieces. He's got cancer, and is waiting for the diagnostic results of how little time he has left to live.
The waiting is a hard thing.
We've been thru a bunch of stuff. Three people in his family have died this way...taking from 6 months to 1 1/2 years without treatment.
He won't get treatment.

I'm his friend. He told me, today, and now the world is going slowly upside down.

He hasn't told anybody else. Partly because he is waiting on the results, and partly because of the timeline that might crunch down really soon. He's coughing up blood. He has two daughters, grown, and I think that I need to work on getting him moved to the state that they live in. That could take a few months.

Yeah. He's scared.

Have you been through this? Got any pointers?

no photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:44 PM
Take every day as it comes, and face things with stern resolve. The cancer may take your friends body, but it won't take his spirit or his soul.

no photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:45 PM

Take every day as it comes, and face things with stern resolve. The cancer may take your friends body, but it won't take his spirit or his soul.


i concur

no photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:46 PM
He has made his choice. The only thing you can do is to help make him comfortable and help him get his things in order.flowerforyou

citygurl's photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:49 PM
I'm sorry to hear your sad news..

Remember the good times.. make the most of the time left and thank God for friends


scoundrel's photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:49 PM
thank you for your advice.

I'm still in shock. Was told just a few hours ago, and I'm glad that he's staying with me, but I am...

...I need to know how to be a best friend, right thru it all. I can hold off on dealing with my own emotions until afterwards.

no photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:51 PM

thank you for your advice.

I'm still in shock. Was told just a few hours ago, and I'm glad that he's staying with me, but I am...

...I need to know how to be a best friend, right thru it all. I can hold off on dealing with my own emotions until afterwards.
Try to respect his decision to die and try to be as "normal" around him as you normally would.

scoundrel's photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:54 PM


thank you for your advice.

I'm still in shock. Was told just a few hours ago, and I'm glad that he's staying with me, but I am...

...I need to know how to be a best friend, right thru it all. I can hold off on dealing with my own emotions until afterwards.
Try to respect his decision to die and try to be as "normal" around him as you normally would.


***deep breath***
Thanks. I'll just be me. That helps, hon.
flowerforyou

darkowl1's photo
Wed 01/28/09 10:54 PM
i'm really sorry man. that really sucks........ research into a super diet may save his life yet. the juiceman cured his own prostate cancer. always hope.

scoundrel's photo
Wed 01/28/09 11:01 PM
Yeah. I'm going to slip a few healthy changes into his life, just being me.

He slipped and fell on the ice, over a week ago, and the doctor found cancer in his blood, during a draw to check before shooting him full of cortisone for his damaged ribs.

Thanks, bud.

Winx's photo
Wed 01/28/09 11:04 PM

Yeah. I'm going to slip a few healthy changes into his life, just being me.

He slipped and fell on the ice, over a week ago, and the doctor found cancer in his blood, during a draw to check before shooting him full of cortisone for his damaged ribs.

Thanks, bud.


Ooh, (((Scoundrel))),

That's just awful.:cry:

I'm so sorry about your friend.flowerforyou

He's so very lucky to have you right now. I'm sure you're a blessing to him.flowerforyou

Tanzkity's photo
Wed 01/28/09 11:11 PM
I have went through this and most people who have a terminal disease see things so different from the healthy.........My friend told me that she was alright and not to worry.........I researched about her cancer and knew the truth.........its hard for people to take things in and for you what you need to do is be there for them.......also a lot of the drugs that they are taking are hindering them to see reality......i say for you to be honest with him and be a friend and tell him to do what he can to see his kids.............especially since really he has very little time left.............there are a number of resources in which he can get his wishes fulfilled and he can reunite with his kids and if you are a close friend do that for him..............

I think most of us take for granted how little if any time we have with loved ones and family and we dont take the time to express it.......its hard to know that in such a short time that your life will end so being there for people who are in need especially your friends and family is a must..........

my condolences and I hope if anything he takes care of the loop holes and reunites with his family because in the end no matter what you need them...............flowerforyou

scoundrel's photo
Wed 01/28/09 11:39 PM
The medication is something I am going to have to find out about, and the effects that it has.
If he is unable to be rational because of the effects of the medication then I will have to get in touch with his brothers.
I've dealt with this "secret from family" stuff before, when my mother was dying, and neither of my brothers would clue in when I told them that they needed to spend some time with her. She did a fair job of hiding her condition, except that I knew more and was not easily fooled.
My friend, he's been going through some oddities in his employment and having total stress due to being the executor for a troubled situation, on a personal level. We don't pry into each other's business except as absolutely needful, so I just wait until he either resolves things or he needs to tell me what's up. That's one of the factors in us being good friends; respect/privacy.
Now...well, it can get dicey.
If he's not functioning capably due to this, or due to the medication, then he cannot continue as executor of that other situation.
This could get messy.

Well, one day at a time, one hurdle at a time.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 01/29/09 12:36 AM

Have you been through this? Got any pointers?


Focus on how good of a friend you are to him, and how good of a friend you could be. Do the latter.

keepthehope's photo
Thu 01/29/09 02:08 AM
It sounds like he has given up. Prayer is a powerful thing and he needs to remember those kids as something to live for.

All you can do is be there for him.

scoundrel's photo
Thu 01/29/09 10:14 AM
The gnawing fear was getting to him.

His crack-up episode yesterday relieved the pressure of keeping it all to himself. He was up/down every few hours thru the night, but now he is partly back to his feisty norm.

I read a bunch of stuff about carrot juice and raw veggies and got a list of foods and How To stuff that can help. I might convince him that the firehose coffee enema and tranqs really are medically sound treatments.

Fade2Black's photo
Thu 01/29/09 10:39 AM



thank you for your advice.

I'm still in shock. Was told just a few hours ago, and I'm glad that he's staying with me, but I am...

...I need to know how to be a best friend, right thru it all. I can hold off on dealing with my own emotions until afterwards.
Try to respect his decision to die and try to be as "normal" around him as you normally would.


***deep breath***
Thanks. I'll just be me. That helps, hon.
flowerforyou



I agree.. will be saying a prayer for you and him and the whole situation. flowerforyou

DragonFlyTat's photo
Thu 01/29/09 11:29 AM
He should live everyday as it is his last. Let his daughters know so they can do what they have to. Trust me my husband died unexpectantly 6 months ago and my daughters are devastated

scoundrel's photo
Thu 01/29/09 11:40 AM


I agree.. will be saying a prayer for you and him and the whole situation. flowerforyou


I appreciate your kindness.

Suddenly, the noise of his television doesn't annoy me anymore.

So many things will be less annoying now...but I can pretend that I am "longsuffering" with aplomb.

LAMom's photo
Thu 01/29/09 11:46 AM
Edited by LAMom on Thu 01/29/09 11:48 AM

thank you for your advice.

I'm still in shock. Was told just a few hours ago, and I'm glad that he's staying with me, but I am...

...I need to know how to be a best friend, right thru it all. I can hold off on dealing with my own emotions until afterwards.


By standing by his side,, Holding him when he needs you the most and listening to him (when) the maddness and anger take over as to Why,, I have been down this road,,, Be you don't change,, make him smile, laugh and cry

Remembering what brought you two together as friends,,

Sending you Both
Love & Light

Blessings for strength :heart:

Pssssssssssssssssssss Remember when he gets angry its not at you or towards you,,, Remember that please

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