a game on-line? Or to a chat forum?

In the past 18 months my son had become alienated from me and other family members. I accepted this, taking into account his age (23/24) and the fact that he's a full-time college student and works to support himself.

Last night he called me. He wanted to apologise for being so aleinated and to let me know it wasn't just me or his family, but his friends as well. He explained an event that made him realize he had become ADDICTED to a game I think it's "Warcraft." So much so that even his grades had suffered, even the need for sleep seemed to escape him, until he would pass out.

He said he's been trying for the last 4 or 5 months to overcome the problem and he thinks he's got it beat.

I've heard so many make comments about THIS forum and how much time they spend here, can't wait to get home in the evening to log on and so on.

I just wondered if anyone else has experienced such an "addiction" and if you would tell me about the experience?

And for anyone else that has a comment, feel free.

Thanks

yup

and you can OD on anything, even games

yep i was addicted overall with computer and texting non stop when i was 17
i alienated from EVERYTHING

I think many loose site of the fact that - with every choice we make were are also making a statement: that what we are choosing to do right now is the best thing we think there is to spend time on - out of all options."

If we stopped to ask ourselves... "Could I be doing something better?" This world would be a different place.

Someone actually DIED after a 54 hour marathon of Warcraft!

Yes it is addictive and also has withdrawal symptoms for real.

I've never played it

maybe I'll try a couple and then quit...

It is addictive. All you keep thinking is that you have to keep playing and that you will quit as soon as you win the game, which can take who knows how long. You see this same type of behavior all the time with gambling addiction. If he is doing this on his own, then good for him, but may want to look into support groups in case he relaps.

that game destroys people! it's cost people marriages, carreers, virginity..

I saw a craigslist best-of where a girl was trying to "trade" for an epic mount.. what she was trading, I don't think I have to say..

consensus answer to your question, yes it can be addictive..

Ive been gaming for over 10 years and Ill tell you it is absolultey addictive and can really damage a domestic situation. You son is prime age for these types of gaming ventures... MMORPGs.. and ther are alot of them.. the one he is playing is like the most popular one. Stick with him and offer to help out some way is my two-cents.

In a word, yes.

Its not the game, shesh people. Its elements in the game that we do not get in life, or that we do not like what we get in life and the elements of the game fill that gap.


Does your son have friends that he can spend long hours with socializing and having fun together? I already know the answer, its no.

He may have friends that he can socialize with, but I bet they are busy doing there own things, either school, work ect.

He has got into this game becuase it fills that gap, and does so with a very progressive capability to increase prestige in the game world by giving more time.

I bet where he is at in life is very unfulfilling in that regard. He works hard in real life and gets very little out of it right now, college student? Grades are just not instant gratification which us apes need.

The game allows you to always be able to earn something for your time with little effort, and along the way you meet people and no one judges you except on how you play which as you get better is also very fulfilling.

Do I think its a problem, maybe. I have played World of Warcraft on an off for 4 years. The game like any other gets old, but there is a lot to do in the game so depending on what he is doing in the game it sure could consume his time for years.

Here is the thing.

Is he having fun?

Has he met people he calls friends?

Is he functioning in real life? (keeping grades, paying bills ect)

If yes is the answer to all of those, then its not a problem, depending on how many no's you get depends on how much of a problem.

Me, I made a schedule for myself. I play my sax everyday becuase those skills do not get washed away when the next big game comes out. I exercise each day, because sitting around gaming non stop kills my back. I study each day for a period of time that is acceptable to me and gets me the grades I want.

On the weekend I go see my mom and my brother, and my friends.

Tuesday night I game for 3-4 hours with my buds.

Friday night I will also game if anything is going on in the wow world.

Sunday morning I will do arena's with one of my online friends, this takes about an hour.

Like anything that is fun, it can be addictive. We have the capability to create structure if we want to, if all he wants to do is play the game nonstop, then to me that says more about his alternatives to gaming then it does about the game itself.

Andy wrote:


Yes – withdrawal symptom, not only that but feeling of guilt on top of it. My main concern, at this point, was if he was depressed. I’ll get back to that though.

Svy14x


My son understands this and questioned himself many times. The problem was, basically, that this was his avenue of escape, a chance to get away from the burdens he carries. What he didn’t realize is that he was adding greater challenges to his life by ignoring his support system and even his own health. The ‘logical, rational’ question you pose requires logical and rational thought. He didn’t ‘want’ to think anymore, he wanted a safe place, one in which he could be creative and if he was succeeding, in the game, he was boosting a suffering self-esteem.

Charlotte


We agreed to discuss this more thoroughly this week-end, at that time I intend suggest he speak with a psychologist. As I said, he’s young and he’s trying to do so much, indepentendly, but MOM is not usually that voice in the dark one wants to hear.

Drago01


Thanks – absolutely.

Bushi


THANKS for great comments. My son has terrific friends a ‘fantastic’ support system. He grew up believing that friends were as important as family, especially when family is often at a distance, as we were. It was that support system that made him realize what he was doing. When he let them know he was trying to break this ‘habit’ he got so many phone calls at all hours of the day and night, “just checking” to see if he would answer, and what he was doing. Of course I didn’t know this.

There is a pool hall / bar that I’ve been playing at for many years. He lives close to it and several times in the last few months I’ve seen him and different groups of friends there. I had never seen him there before. they would be sitting at a table, playing cards, have a drink, laughing. I didn’t realize they were surrounding him, making him ‘get out’.

I REALLY liked your idea of the schedule. My parents and I have a Sunday ritual. We speak with each other EVERY SUNDAY MORNING. We’ve been trying to get my son to get with that program, unaware of course, of why he couldn’t. So I guess we’ll try some more. When he comes over this weekend, I’m going to give him your suggestion for a schedule that HE can manage, a reasonable one. I think creating and following such a schedule will help him feel more "in control" of his own life, and feel less overwhelmed by it.

Thanks bushi, and thanks everyone for your input.

I was hoping to hear from Smiless, he’s a gamer, in fact he was creating one. I wonder what he’d say.

SMILESS where are you?

http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/internet_addiction_test.htm

Yes. There have been stories about children not being fed because the parent was online for 12 hours.

I'm probably addicted to Mingle.

Wasnt there a lawsuit against that game "Everquest", because some kid killed himself over it?


I remember hearing about that years ago.

If this site doesn't liven up tonight I'm going to have a break down

Hahaha! Famous last words...

Thanks for the link winx.

I haven't heard of such a lawsuit, but it sounds like a rediculous one to me. But then again, the gaming board in Vegas and Nevada lost such a suit and now signs must be posted in casinos giving giving gambling help lines and at one point employees had to go through some kind of training that was suppose to educate them on gambling addiction. Those in charge have also been given the right to deny certain people gambling privileges.

I don't know how much this still adhered to. But I do think some people have a greater affinity to become addicted to whatever allows them to deny reality.

You're welcome.

I agree. It can be a healthy mechanism during times of overwhelming stress, where to take it would break you, but in times of manageable stress you need to face it, perhaps a bit at a time, but face it nevertheless. My habits during the worst times have not been the most productive, or the healthiest, that is a factor IMNSHO in my personal growth.