How about the 'whoever asks for the date' pays scenario? I'm perfectly fine with that...but I've also seen guys be terribly uncomfortable with the idea. I guess it depends on the people involved.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the woman offering to pay sometimes.. I do and often on first dates go dutch...

I went dutch once.......she stepped on my feet with those wooden shoes!!!!

the man should pay for the first date...call me old fashioned but maybe we need some old fashioned values in todays dating world...after the first date however,everything is negotiable...be seeing you

I think on a first date, the man should pay. But as the dating progresses, it should be more balanced. As well, I think the couple should look at what they each earn and their expenses, and divvy it up accordingly to be fair.

For example, I once dated a guy who made less money than I and I would pay more often, and I've also been in the reverse situation.

Same here... I'd be making him some really nice home cooked meals too.

And maybe even host a poker or football party with plenty of beer and munchies for him and his friends. At least something nice and special like that to contribute to the cost of dating.

Just so the guy doesn't say after she breaks up in one month, look at everything I've done for you, look at how well I've treated you and spent my money on you.

You sound like an awesome partner!

I think if you have to ask you are unsure.

I think it's rather easy, the one that invites pays.

Wait a gosh darn second here... What happened to women's lib and wanting to be treated equal and all that? So, it's cry for women's rights ONLY when it's convenient?

Personally, I'm kinda old fashioned (I come from the old world) where I believe a man SHOULD wine and dine his lady and pay for everything. But only if he wants to, not because that is his role or in order to prove that he is a man, he has to fork out the cash and pay for everything!

OK, so I don't know exactly where I'm going with this... I know I had a point there somewhere!

Alright, never mind!

Giving without expectations is the best way to go on this topic on dates or with friends. Where I live, median income is pretty low and discussion of money is well what's the word for it? Just because I'm taking a woman to lunch or dinner doesn't mean I'm dating her. As a matter of fact, most of the time it means I'm just hungry.

I agree with who invites pays. Once the datin has progressed into a relationship then perhaps it should be a 50/50.

i learned the hard way on this.. for the only time we ever seemed to go out is only cause i asked...... 19 outta 20 times!! so i just started saying we should go out on a date soon hint hint sucker you pay for once!!!

I've never had to pay. Even when I have tickets to go somewhere, the man has reimbursed me without being asked. I usually tell them to just pay for parking but they want to pay it all.

Well, my 2 cents for what it's worth. I think whoever asks should pay. And, no one says your dates have to be expensive, if you ask someone out, they can and should be what you can comfortably afford. Maybe it's ordering a pizza in and renting a video, a walk in the park with ice cream or a weekend in Paris, whatever you can afford.

Once you're in a relationship, it should balance out on its own, I would think, unless you're with someone incredibly selfish.

I don't care what anyone says, relationships, financially or otherwise, are never 50/50 all the time. But, over time, if it's a good relationship, it'll balance out.

i happen to agree with you tj and you shouldnt have to ask! i do beleive though the first few dates a guy should pay for... and after that there is no reason a gal cant take you out... sure some have less money than others.. but a guy needs to feel appreciated also.. even if it is 2 outta 10 times.. i know myslef from paying all the time that you begin to feel used...

Something else I meant to say. It is tradition that a man pays. Why? It started back in the day when most women did not work and did not have their own money. They were, however, expected to show their appreciation via home cooked meals, baking, etc.

There is NO reason on earth anymore, in a world where most women work, that she can't pick up the tab, whether it's the first day or the 1,000,000th. There's plenty to do that are within financial reach of most people (again, movies and dinner at home) so using being broke as an excuse is pretty lame.

Living, loving and giving without expectations is a nice ideal to strive towards.

If you promise to leave a tip you can get a bonus.

You're absolutely correct. Some traditions are just way too outdated and need to be changed, or abolished completely.