Thank you PMS I have had bad relationships before as well.

Hmmm, generally, I'd say no. A person has a pretty set personality and
it's very hard to reprogram that. Some people genuinely try and could
succeed, a lot of others fall short, and still others may make a promise
but lie just to manipulate you.

i belevie in second chances all the time

Anytime.
PMS

Well, for me, once you put "possessive" and "anger management" in the
same sentence, I'm gone.

Op sometimes there is a lovely wide----------------- gray line.


It depends on the situation

OP, they say a leopard can't change its spots, but I do believe people
CAN change. If he's agreed to go to anger management classes, that is at
least a step in the right direction. Could be just a "diversionary
tactic," however, so you need to keep this in mind.

If he ever "accidentally" hurts you again, you should definitely kick
him to the curb...if you're not too injured to do so.

I'm as much resilient as compassionate, so yes.

LOL... that's funny, but true. Adapt and over come

Possessive behaviours, physical violence or threatening behaviours,
physical and verbally, stem from a need to have power and control over
another.

It is usually based in poor self-esteem, often combined with a history
of being abused, and is a lifetime of learned behaviours.

No-one can tell you to leave him, kick him to the curb, whatever you
wish to call it, only you can.

But the patterns are there, the honeymoon phase, the slipping into
criticism, and accusations, the threats, then violence, even verbal
abuse is a form of violece, then the remorse stage, then back to the
honeymoon phase...

With some you can almost set your watch by it..

It is great that he wishes to go to anger management, and seek support
through a therapist...let me guess, the remorse stage?

As long as he continues, completes, and practices what new behaviours he
learns from this course, he could be ready to date a woman in a year
maybe two years time...depending on the damage he has, and how good a
therapist he has..

I am sorry I am being so blunt, but this is factual...not a cynical veiw
of the cycle of abuse, but the plain truth...

Most of the time I will give a second chance,but I have learned in the
past,that I usually get burned the second,and final time.But I try too
anyway. Live and Learn!!!!!!!!!!

To err is human...

Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.
Most of the time when someone makes a mistake or error in judgement the
other party is too quick to judge and disgard. Hear the person out and
decide if you are willing to overlook it and move on.
(only exceptions to not forgiving are murder, rape or child molesting.)

It depends on the situation...However- if any form of abuse is involved
being physical, verbal, or mental...that's it. There is no 2nd chance
whatsoever. I went through that with with a 1st marriage and never will
I go through that again, no way. Women are beautiful creatures put here
to love, to adore, to cherish...not hit, or drag her down because of his
own lack of self-esteem. If you want a woman to truly love you, adore
you, think of only you...then you need to treat her like she's on a
pedestal and be as good as possible to her. It's not hard to be what she
would like you to be, or treat her how she wants to be treated....But
once you treat her badly..you lose alot of respect, and it's downhill
from there. So show her what she truly means to you.

if sex doesnt work the first time I always suggest a 2d..

I am all for forgiveness and change .... however,

"When people show you who they are believe them, the first time" - Maya
Angelou

We tend to make excuses for other people's behavour. Whatever you do,
keep your eyes wide open always and believe the behaviour you are
shown...NOT the behaviour you wish they showed.

Anger management? scary stuff... I wouldn't be going there...

I can be forgiving but any type of violence and I'm no tso
forgiving!!!!!!!!!!

It's good that he has agreed to anger management BUT if he is doing it
so he won't lose you....He is doing it for the wrong reason!!!!! He
needs to do it for him and acknowledge he has a problem or it won't do
him any good!!!!!!!!

If you weren't still in the picture would he still go????


I speak from experience with my ex-husband who agreed to marriage
counselling....NOT because he thought there was a problem but so I
wouldn't leave him...well we have been divorced now for 13 years so you
can guess how well that worked out...I think we lasted 2
sessions!!!!!!!!!!

I have learbed my lesson. my ex of 11 years i gave her 2 chances and she
did it a third. so iguess 3 strikes your out. by the way we werent
married,but if i was married the first time it happened id be saying
bye-bye.

agreed mike...

it depends on the situation...

Everyone has given good advice. Just be careful OK. Would hate to see
you get hurt, or in the control trap.

Everyone has given good advice. Just be careful OK. Would hate to see
you get hurt, or in the control trap.