Community > General Discussion

Topic: Seperation is not always off limits!
TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76392	Fri 01/16/09 02:18 PM
I am separated and I don't expect anyone to jump into a relationship with me. I have on my profile that I am looking for a relationship, though I guess it is more of companionship. To know that I am not alone in what I am going through.Trust me as soon as I have the $$$, I will be in my lawyers office pronto. I want no ties to her save for my daughters. Well in the first place you will not be raked across the coals if you have the kids. Who ever told you that the women get everything when they don't in fact have the kids is wrong. As long as your up front with others then it is their choice to make no one else.

Citizen_Joe Joined Sat 04/12/08 Posts: 4036	Fri 01/16/09 02:19 PM
I have been divorced and when you want to be divorced you don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You want to hang on to the perks of being married; emotional, financial, custody ect. you might not be living together but your still married. Still benifiting from that relationship. I have a pool table in the center of my home. I doubt in the least in the bible belt that looks very married. It would be all too easy to lie about it and not get caught but then again, there's no real hurry there and finding a mate is actually quite low in terms of priorities. When the papers are signed and the divorce is final, believe me I'll be doing the dance the whole week. No, make that a month.

CaliChickCassie Joined Wed 01/14/09 Posts: 76	Fri 01/16/09 02:46 PM
not everyone gets perks. my soon to ex husband doesn't even give me any money. the only "perks" i have are my truck which he bought for me in the first place, and military insurance. im not asking for anything. he already gave me the living room set and the TV and the truck. im good to go! no everyone who gets s divorce tries to take them for everything.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Fri 01/16/09 02:48 PM
This is an easy one. "Separated" still equals "Married", until you get that little piece of paper that says differently. I agree.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Fri 01/16/09 02:49 PM
Seperated means still married. There are many degrees of seperation & many reasons why people may not be divorced yet, but I don't want to be involved with someone who is still married. I don't even want to be the 1st girlfriend after the divorce. I want the ink dry & the bouncing from the rebound over. Word!

manOfewwords Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 29908	Fri 01/16/09 02:51 PM
seperated = married....get a divorce..

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Fri 01/16/09 02:53 PM
Married people are jerks

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 05:30 PM
Get the paperwork done first... Better yet, get the stamp. Its not over till its over.... and even then, it often takes a year or so till the dust settles.

Mr_Music Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 10677	Fri 01/16/09 05:32 PM
Get the paperwork done first... Better yet, get the stamp. Its not over till its over.... and even then, it often takes a year or so till the dust settles. Are you kidding me? I went right out and celebrated with a double Pepsi! No ice!

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 05:32 PM
...I don't even want to be the 1st girlfriend after the divorce. I want the ink dry & the bouncing from the rebound over.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 05:34 PM
did it ever occur to anyone that going out for coffee is in fact not a violation of marital requirements? initiating a conversation and getting to know a person does not mean you have to have sex or marry....it might almost be..what is that word..friendship last I checked married people were allowed to have friends simply because he might be looking for more in the future doesn't mean he must be avoided now... People will define "friendship" and "cheating" differently, depending on an assortment of factors.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 05:36 PM
..but all seperated men are welcome to contact me..they arent living with their wives..totally different.. In the USA, some still are.

Cutiepieforyou Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 43085	Fri 01/16/09 05:37 PM
Separated=Still married

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 05:39 PM
Are you kidding me? I went right out and celebrated with a double Pepsi! No ice! Some people are better at "compartmentalizing" than others. The first year after the stamp is usually a time of 'sowing wild oats', I recall.

Mr_Music Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 10677	Fri 01/16/09 05:43 PM
Are you kidding me? I went right out and celebrated with a double Pepsi! No ice! Some people are better at "compartmentalizing" than others. The first year after the stamp is usually a time of 'sowing wild oats', I recall. Pffft! Yeah, right!

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Fri 01/16/09 05:49 PM
I think sometimes its scary enough to invest time and energy into a single person let alone someone who still has marital ties. Ditto, and those that are seperated at times use that as a crutch and don't plan on getting Divorded been there had it happen and now I think twice when they say seperated. Sorry but just the way I'm. i hear that!!!!! i learned the hard way!!! i knew this guy for 3 yrs, when i met him he was seperated for 5 yrs already and had been dating... told me he planned on getting divorced we remained friends for 2 more yrs <not close> talked every once in a while or met in groups and played pool..he went through a couple more girlfriends in that time... well didnt talk to him for like 8 months i had become single he asked me out and i liked him really nice i said yes..... it hit me after dating him about a month... and i remembered so i tried to verify that his divorce went through ..ummmmmm no it never got started!!! great i was liking him a whole lot now!!! well i figured oh 8 yrs seperated okay. informs me he is getting paperwork done 2 months later i asked how it was going? the next week hes back with her!!! ummm probabably the same story the two other gals got!! forget it!!! never again!!

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Fri 01/16/09 05:49 PM
ps i would of never even dated him if it wasnt under false pretense!!!

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Fri 01/16/09 06:02 PM
This frustrated me as well, but I understood it and I don't blame anyone that passes on 'separated' (but still married). Here's a short list of very good reasons: Don't want to inhibit any chance to reconcile. Don't want to deal with your divorce in any way. Many people going through a divorce aren't emotionally well (or even newly divorced) Don't want to worry about being a 'rebound' person. Worried about appearances. Some people actually have 'morality clauses' with their jobs that specifically or implicitly do not allow it. Don't want to invest in someone only to find out they're not going to divorce after all. Not sure they are really over their ex. And, of course... there's that 'sanctity of marriage' issue, lol.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Fri 01/16/09 06:06 PM
Are you kidding me? I went right out and celebrated with a double Pepsi! No ice! Some people are better at "compartmentalizing" than others. The first year after the stamp is usually a time of 'sowing wild oats', I recall. Pffft! Yeah, right! Not for you, then?

Mr_Music Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 10677	Fri 01/16/09 06:11 PM
Are you kidding me? I went right out and celebrated with a double Pepsi! No ice! Some people are better at "compartmentalizing" than others. The first year after the stamp is usually a time of 'sowing wild oats', I recall. Pffft! Yeah, right! Not for you, then? Oh, gosh, no! That's always been a non-issue.