have you ever been with a significant other who now you think was cold and heartless and you cant believe that you were with him/her? Was it that they were so heartless that you were attracted to them or you didnt notice it before until the break up................

Yes, but it was because he was a different person when I first met him and then he started get all weird after we started dating.

yes I have been with one that was cold and heartless and I did not see it until it was to late

How people can be such terrible judges of character is beyond me. I refuse to give this more than two seconds of thought.

Yep. He was neglected as a child, his mother was a crack whore and he did not know how to love and be loved.

But in a strange way, he was wise beyond his years. Like an old battered and abused soul. Good in the sack though.

Because the fact that you only know yourself and you dont know who you are with...........its a chance you take in every relationship........by the way there are people there who know how to conceal their true nature until you marry them and then the horns come out..........

I've been on both sides of that fence. It's an ugly perspective, from both sides.

Yes lotsa times.


And I love the new pic Tanzkity

I'm not doubting people suck at estimating behaviors...I'm just saying I'm not one of those people.

If that is the case then why are you in a dating site and not with someone already sense your such a great judge of character............come on lay off on that im perfect and i can see through everyone...............not everyone is that transparent..........

They say love is blind, also sometimes people are never a 100% the real person due to trying to impress their new love.

People will do anything to wooo a new love and when they get in the routine of who they are this is when we know the real person.

Thank you babe..........

That's for sure! It takes a bit of life experience to learn to be a good judge of character. There are plenty of pretenders out there.

I don't believe in marriage. That ruins everything. People start thinking they own each other.

Marriage is ok if you are traditional............it also kind of really shows you who you are with because they become so comfortable that they think anything they do you will accept...........i think this is when you really know who you are with........

Never once in my 33 years have I ever had anyone remotely close to me go 180. Being on a dating site is irrelevant, afterall, it is a two-way street--like I can just choose to be in a relationship at a whim. Obviously there are blatant mistakes being made every day, and again, I'm simply saying I cannot understand why people have such a lack of self-awareness.

People evolve through time.........you may have an identity from a certain age but your identity or lack of transforms with each relationship...........and sometimes being in a bad relationship shows you what you will tolerate and what you wont............and it builds character............i just dont believe that you can determine every person easily there are some people who are so complex by the time you know who they are they are married to them..............even men who abuse are complex they woe a woman and make a woman feel so comfortable that they are unaware of the beast that they have fallen in love with.........all im saying is not everything is in black and white or people wouldnt make the mistakes that they do..........

I think a lot of times it is not so much people being all that good at hiding their bad faults as it is people seeing so much that is bad something possible comes along and they are thinking "Jackpot I better snatch this up before someone else beats me to it." They jump in fast and dirty with sex, dumping friends/family, shareing credit, moving in together and they are in up to their eyeballs before they even open their eyes. That makes backing up really difficult and things just snowball until your life is in melt down. Then they are so burned nothing is ever going to look good.

Yes. But they lied and portrayed themselves as someone they were not.

What you have to realize about this is even i have become "heartless" after a break up. Not because part of me still doesn't love that person but things were done and said that couldn't be taken back. I don't consider what i did "heartless" i consider it putting distance between me and that person.

I'm sure to this day people still don't understand my actions but distance keeps me from getting sucked back into a bad situation.

yes I have been with someone like this. Luckily I caught on to it early in the relationship and ended it.