Topic: i'd like some opinions on this please
PacificStar48's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:16 AM
Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:19 AM

Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.
thats what i wonder too, does children have something to do with this?

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:20 AM
I dont bite into any of that friendship jealousy stuff. I just shrugg my shoulders and ignore it. Then again i wouldnt really hang out with someone like that. there is a lunch jealousy thing going on at my work and i dont get it at all? Like you need to walk the building to confirm where the spot is and if you dont they get mad. Go figure people are a trip.

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:23 AM


Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.
thats what i wonder too, does children have something to do with this?


I don't mind them getting together without me, that's not what bothers me. And yes, they do bring their children alot. Whenever the children will be there, I don't go. Their kids annoy the heck out of me, so to avoid falling out with them, I let them have their "mommy outings" without me.

The only thing that bothers me is that they have to bring it up ALL the time, like I said, we'll be talking about something totally random and one of them will have to mention how they got together the other day. I don't CARE that they got together, I care that they are trying to annoy me by mentioning it 24/7, LOL

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:24 AM

Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.


Well, they chose to have kids, so it makes no sense to be jealous of me not having any. One of them even has 3 of them, so she totally made that conscious decision.

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:26 AM

I dont bite into any of that friendship jealousy stuff. I just shrugg my shoulders and ignore it. Then again i wouldnt really hang out with someone like that. there is a lunch jealousy thing going on at my work and i dont get it at all? Like you need to walk the building to confirm where the spot is and if you dont they get mad. Go figure people are a trip.


Well, I'm over it. I didn't have drama as a teenager, because I was the shy kid, and I don't want drama as an adult.

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:27 AM



Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.
thats what i wonder too, does children have something to do with this?


I don't mind them getting together without me, that's not what bothers me. And yes, they do bring their children alot. Whenever the children will be there, I don't go. Their kids annoy the heck out of me, so to avoid falling out with them, I let them have their "mommy outings" without me.

The only thing that bothers me is that they have to bring it up ALL the time, like I said, we'll be talking about something totally random and one of them will have to mention how they got together the other day. I don't CARE that they got together, I care that they are trying to annoy me by mentioning it 24/7, LOL
just brag abiut that you dont smell like a dirty diaper tongue2

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:28 AM




Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.
thats what i wonder too, does children have something to do with this?


I don't mind them getting together without me, that's not what bothers me. And yes, they do bring their children alot. Whenever the children will be there, I don't go. Their kids annoy the heck out of me, so to avoid falling out with them, I let them have their "mommy outings" without me.

The only thing that bothers me is that they have to bring it up ALL the time, like I said, we'll be talking about something totally random and one of them will have to mention how they got together the other day. I don't CARE that they got together, I care that they are trying to annoy me by mentioning it 24/7, LOL
just brag abiut that you dont smell like a dirty diaper tongue2


laugh laugh :banana:

Tanzkity's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:28 AM
Edited by Tanzkity on Sun 01/11/09 12:28 AM


Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.


Well, they chose to have kids, so it makes no sense to be jealous of me not having any. One of them even has 3 of them, so she totally made that conscious decision.


Yes she did but as a parent you sometimes regret how much of yourself you have lost and that could account for their resentment..........it goes both ways............they are jealous of you being single and the fact that you chose to have not kids........

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:28 AM
yes drama is bad i hate it! whoa drama people i avoid at all costs!

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:29 AM



Maybe they are a little jealous that you do not have the responsibility of children and are trying to emphasize they can have the success of friendship anyway. It sounds juvinile but then again that they are trying to impress you for some reason. Maybe they don't want to make it look like they are doing anything that you are not included in behind your back. Rarely do three way friendships work all that way. Maybe they are compeating to see who can win you. If it gets on your nerves then focus your energy on other friends.


Well, they chose to have kids, so it makes no sense to be jealous of me not having any. One of them even has 3 of them, so she totally made that conscious decision.


Yes she did but as a parent you sometimes regret how much of yourself you have lost and that could account for their resentment..........it goes both ways............they are jealous of you being single and the fact that you chose to have not kids........


LOL maybe so. Silly reason to be jealous, but I guess jealousy is a stupid emotion.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:36 AM
That you don't like their kids probably hurts them. Someone rejects your kids it is very personal. They are probably very dissappointed that you do not think they are grand master pieces or that you might try as a friend to share the load. Since being old and childless is something they can't imagine as desireable maybe they are feeling they have to somehow connect you to their kids and that part of their life. It might not all be malicious. I still say if it is toxic for you then I would distance myself from the friendships until you feel otherwise.

Rockmybobbysocks's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:50 AM
just always be happy for them. i mean if it doesn't bother you then it really shouldn't bother you. maybe they are just better friends together than with you and thats just something that happens.

so if they express the time they spend together to you.. just listen and encourage.

if they are doin it on purpose.. the encouragement will only piss them off even more and make you out as the better human being. :p

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:56 AM

That you don't like their kids probably hurts them. Someone rejects your kids it is very personal. They are probably very dissappointed that you do not think they are grand master pieces or that you might try as a friend to share the load. Since being old and childless is something they can't imagine as desireable maybe they are feeling they have to somehow connect you to their kids and that part of their life. It might not all be malicious. I still say if it is toxic for you then I would distance myself from the friendships until you feel otherwise.


Either you didn't read what I wrote initially or you are choosing to take this entirely out of context, simply so you can focus on the children and stress how much you enjoy being a parent. Why are you focusing on the children? They are irrelevant. This isn't about the children, this is about my friends being juvenile and thinking they have to make me jealous when we are all pushing the hell out of 40, ie. too old for childish behavior, pun intended.

However, to address what you said about the children, I never told them I don't like their kids; in my opinion only a rude, ignorant person would say that to a parent. If they've come to the conclusion that I don't like their kids because I avoid them, that's not my problem and I really don't care. As for me sharing the load of their "grand masterpieces" yeah, I don't think so. The day I want to be a parent, in any capacity, I know how to go about it. I made a choice not to have kids, and if they didn't want them, they should have done likewise.

But thanks for your input.flowerforyou

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:58 AM

just always be happy for them. i mean if it doesn't bother you then it really shouldn't bother you. maybe they are just better friends together than with you and thats just something that happens.

so if they express the time they spend together to you.. just listen and encourage.

if they are doin it on purpose.. the encouragement will only piss them off even more and make you out as the better human being. :p


Yeah, I'm sure they are better friends together than with me, so I'm going to let them have that.

Rockmybobbysocks's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:59 AM


just always be happy for them. i mean if it doesn't bother you then it really shouldn't bother you. maybe they are just better friends together than with you and thats just something that happens.

so if they express the time they spend together to you.. just listen and encourage.

if they are doin it on purpose.. the encouragement will only piss them off even more and make you out as the better human being. :p


Yeah, I'm sure they are better friends together than with me, so I'm going to let them have that.


totally. there's really nothin else you can do without seeming to be an ass. ya know? i mean everything else can be misconstrued as jealousy which you don't seem to be. ya know?

plainascanbe's photo
Sun 01/11/09 01:01 AM
dont even think about it, it never pans anyway

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 01:01 AM
Alright people, I've gotten the advice I came for. I'd like to thank those who really tried to help me and weren't simply pushing their own agenda, or trying to be snarky. I've decided to back away from these two, like someone said, maybe they make better friends together than they do with me, if so, they can enjoy each other. I have better things to do with my time than be involved in stupid psychodrama.

I'm off this thread now and won't be checking replies, so feel free to let it die a slow mingle death.waving

no photo
Sun 01/11/09 01:02 AM



just always be happy for them. i mean if it doesn't bother you then it really shouldn't bother you. maybe they are just better friends together than with you and thats just something that happens.

so if they express the time they spend together to you.. just listen and encourage.

if they are doin it on purpose.. the encouragement will only piss them off even more and make you out as the better human being. :p


Yeah, I'm sure they are better friends together than with me, so I'm going to let them have that.


totally. there's really nothin else you can do without seeming to be an ass. ya know? i mean everything else can be misconstrued as jealousy which you don't seem to be. ya know?


Yeah, the only thing I envy them is their bank accounts, the rest they can have it all, LOL

plainascanbe's photo
Tue 01/13/09 06:37 PM
true friends ...would be undeniably fixated with you as a person, how you project towards them, is flawless nonetheless.