Okay, there's these two women I've been friends with over 20 years. We just reconnected about a year ago, so we try to get together about once a month for dinner. Anyway, recently they've started getting together, just the two of them to do things, sometimes with their kids (one has a daughter, the other has 3 sons, I don't have any) and sometimes just the two of them. This doesn't bother me- I don't expect the three of us to be joined at the hip for outings- what bothers me is that they find it necessary to make sure I know they spend more time with each other than they do with me. They will bring it up in casual conversation, where we we were just talking about something totally unrelated.

I'm not sure how to take this, I mean, I've had men try to make me jealous, but never women, and as far as I know none of us are gay, so I don't see the point. I find it juvenile and irritating, because it's like they think they have to prove their friendship with each other is stronger than theirs with me, or they just want to make me feel bad that I "missed out." Anyway, my question is this: how should I handle this? I'll be 36 years old in 5 days, I'm too old to play games like "she's my friend, no she's MY friend." Should I just ignore them or stop dealing with them altogether?

Don't throw away your friends. Be a friend instead, that's more important. Accept them for who they are.

So it wouldn't bother you that they were trying to make you feel bad that they didn't invite you along?

I would just ignore it. Either they are purposly doing it which makes them *****es. Or there not even thinking that it would hurt you them saying it. Or it could be they want you to start hanging out with them more and thats there way of telling you.

Its so funny i had this similar situation and what i did was ignore it because they are getting a kick out of your reactions.......what will happen soon enough is someone isnt going to get along with another and thats when you just sit back and enjoy the show.......oh i did and it was lovely........

Yeah, I've been ignoring it, but it's so stupid. I used to work in daycare and they used to do that stuff on the playground. I'm too old for playgrounds, LOL

have they done this before? if so, what were the results?

I've ignored it before, but they keep doing it. I just hate the idea of calling such people "friends." True friends don't do things just to get a rise out of you.

No it would'nt. Friends like we had when we were kids are gone. Be your own person. If they don't want you along then it's their loss.

Hi calleigh, is it the same two we were talking about. Yea id be pissy about it, not reactive just pissy. Peace, love & chicken grease xD

I feel you thats how i felt when it happened but women we are a different kind of breed..........we like to compete with other women and stuff...........let me tell you they are banding together because they know that the kids are driving them crazy and they are freakin jealous of your independence..................

Yeah it's the same two. I think I'll just break away from them, like I said, I'm too old for bs. Thanks everyone for your input.

I would other plan a date with another friend,,the next time THEM TWO go it w/o you.
Then BORE them about all that you and your friend done that day, or even a made-up friend..so as THEY get to FEEL it back..And THAT you could care less about what all they did together. Then see if it stops or then,,just be blunt and say."Are you trying to make a point here to me or what"?

Your friends are trying to hurt your feelings,,and so you will envy them.. I wouldn't let them get to me..

Good friends would never do that,,,so lose them.

To me anyone who brags or boasts is HARD to even be around them.

I have to say that when i knew that it was happening to me i ended both relationships and never looked back.........they have been pursuing me to rekindle it but i wont do it so .................just break it off......its unneccessary grief............

I would ignore it

Yeah, I agree. Oh well, like someone else said, their loss.

a valid point

True, I have enough real problems in life without added drama. Thanks. :)

So what would you do, rare?

i cant help but think it has something to do with kids, could that be a factor?