Not sure if this belongs here but here we go. My soon to be ex wife left the kids and me three months ago. She gave me the house and the new truck and she signed the temporay papers for me to have custady of the kids. I have writen down everything that goes on and I mean everything. She had not gotton a lawyer untill today. Now she wants custady of the kids. She has only had them one night since this all started. She has moved over an hour away and is living with her new man in a house that has problems. Such as no inside doors on any of the rooms. The Kids have been having a tuff time with this and now she wants to put them thought a custady battle. I dont know how to handle this with out going nuts. I know that I am not going to back down and just let her have custady, she left for god sakes. And so far has not really showen that she wants the kids untill now. Help, This is H**l

From one country boy to another: Tell all of this to your lawyer and the judge.

I have and my lawyer said that there is not much to worry about that it will be a up hill battle for her. But there is still a chance

Thats all you can do. Just try to (thru your lawyer)make a case to the judge that she is unfit

You say you don't want a custody battle but you're not going to allow her to see her own children? Yes, she made a mistake, but there might be reasons she hasn't been able to take the kids (such as not having a job, a suitable place, etc, I don't know). Thing is, you have to stop and think about what's good for your kids in the long run, not what's good for you or getting even with your ex. In the long run, it's almost always better for kids to have good, solid relationships with BOTH parents. In cases of divorce, this always means compromise and communication, something the parents aren't good at or they probably wouldn't be getting a divorce in the first place. This doesn't have to get ugly, only the two of you working together to benefit your kids will keep it from going there. Think with your head and not your emotions. Perhaps joint custody or a very generous visitation schedule will keep this from turning into a battle.

You had the kids with the understanding that they would come first, so put that understanding into practice.

just prepare yourself mentally for what looks like is going to be a nasty ride...you never really know someone til you are divorcing them...tough times...i dont envy you...mines 3 years behind me...in some ways im still recovering...best of luck to you...3 months into a seperation seems pretty early to be workin the dating sites...take time to sort your issues out before you jump headlong into another mess.

laws vary from state to state, just do what you have to do for your kids. My ex did the same to me except I keep the kids. You may want to ask your lawyer how far away someone is allowed to move. good luck

There are ways to deal with with her..wink,wink

If your kids are old enough they will be able to tell the judge where they want to live. She deserted her kids, and that won't go well.

To SuzinVA I have never stopped her from seeing the kids. Infact I have given her mor visations than I have to. Infact when I know she has a day off and shedoes not come to see them I get pissed off becaues I know that my kids want there mom and she is not making the attempt to see them. Let me give you an example, last saterday she was at her sisters, her sister only lives 10 min from my house, she called the kids from there, when I asked if she was coming over she said no I am tired and want to go home. Yesterday she was at my house to get the last of her stuff. I asked are you going to wait to see the kids when they get home from school and she said no that her and her new boyfriend had plans. This is the kind of stuff I am dealing with

Sorry, didn't mean to imply anything, as I stated, I don't know all of the circumstances. All I DO know is that there are as many sides to stories as there are people involved. And waaaay to many people use their kids as weapons and bargaining chips and as tools. I don't know if this is the case here, but it is something to watch out for. It's very easy to do without even realizing it.

Tell your lawyer that you are not comfortable with kids staying with a stranger especially at a place with studio type of place.

Do background chk on him. Criminal chk as well.

Get home equity loan and pay her off for her signature. She will not be able to resist cold hard cash $20K. Get her to sign the paper.

Do not drag this fight, you both lose, and lawyers charging $250/hr wins. Do not get emotional. Do not let lawyers (yours or hers) make you get emotional. Set your emotion aside, cuz this is business transaction.

The faster you cut off this relationship, the faster you will recover and move on with your life.

Just my 2 cents from what I was told by other divorced friend :-)

no need to be sorry, you did not know everything that is going on. Its all good. I tell my kids every night that mommy loves them and I give them a kiss and a hug from mommy when I put them to bed.