As I wandered into viewing the "Who's Online" section of Mingle, I felt a sense of unity. Among the sea of beautiful, unique faces and nature photos and cartoon pictures, I knew that we are all in the same boat.

We are all hoping to find someone out there to connect with; be it in a relationship, or just friends, or something else, we all wanted to connect with one another.

And then I wondered, why is it so hard for everyone to do this? One would think that since we are all in the same sort of position that it would be easier to break down the barriers we hold up and actually get to know one another. That finding a good person out there would be something not so complicated. Maybe that's philosophical for a Sunday night/Monday morning, but it's what I was thinking....Life's too short not to just love and enjoy each other's company.

i agree completley. my main thing with dating websites? is its so hard to sell yourself with that initial message to a person! how do you show them who you truly are without just simply sounding like some random guy looking for a lay. how do you get them to actually write you back and get to know you!? for being dating websites? very few ever seem to reply to the messages that i send out. im sure many others must have this same problem.

I totally agree with what you're saying. It's hard for me to do that because I just can't start up a conversation or keep one going. My communication skills are terrible. But I'm trying to fix that.

it's cause we all have criteria. so that makes it hard.

I agree

its hard because there are so many bullsh1tters, liars, cheats, game players, fakes and scammers out there it takes time to sift through the crap. On top of that they all live a thousand miles away or so.

Just a couple of random observations --

While I totally agree with your premise, I think a huge part of the problem is that the majority of people are not interested in putting even the minimal amount of effort into the process -- take a look at the average seven-word profile, the percentage of members who actually take the time to contribute to the forums, the number who ignore e-mails, the sheer lack of concern on the part of many over whether or not a message they post is at all comprehensible --

If you can't even be bothered to write three sentences about yourself, what are the odds that someone will find you interesting enough to write to you? (And if they do, what does that say about THEM?)

The other thing is that I think there are a considerable number of people here who really aren't, and never were, serious about using the site as it was intended to be used. It's "fun and games," some sort of pretend-time, let's get attention from total strangers (for reasons best left unexplored) -- like the MySpacers who accumulate 4000 cardboard "friends" who they will never actually meet or talk to in real life.

The "collector" mentality.

We are all, presumably, in the "same sort of position" -- but only some of us are trying to address that.

I meet three types of men:

1. Emotionally unavailable
2. Sociopathatic Traits
3. Nice guys (which doesn't mean nice)


That seems to be it..... and I'm tired.

What don't you two try being gay, that's my fail-safe backup plan ^_^

So you either think homosexuality is a choice, or a joke.... or both.

I certainly hope i don't get stuck with a guy, but if there is simply no woman on this earth that will take me then a little faggot's better then no one, right?

Oh yeah, comments like this are drool material for the ladies. Watch out, your inbox will be overflowing now.

Doesn't the idea of being alone for the rest of your life give you chills?

go for it lilith, I know you can handle him!

Not at all. I have wonderful family and friends. if a romantic relationship comes along, fantastic..... but I will not settle just to be with someone. That results in happiness for no one.

I find that folks who are scared to be alone, well, they don't make great partners. People who are happy and fulfilled in their lives and want a compliment, well, that is the type of guy I'd want in my life.

Deep in my heart, i know it too



Although not romantic in nature, I imagine having a child makes it easier.







Maybe, have you ever thought that these people are successful and happy because of the bonds they share with there loved ones?

I mean, have you ever even meat a man who was "happy", "fulfilled", and "successful", yet single?

Dude, you've got your hands full this time. I'm just gonna sit back and watch.

If by loved ones you mean family and friends, then that is exactly what I said.

People who NEED a relationship are not people I need in my life. And if you need an answer to your last question..... I cannot help you understand. You either get it or you don't. I don't NEED to explain it to you, nor should I have to.

Not even a hint? ^_^

Come now lilith, aren't you having fun?

I think for a guy the difficulty in finding a relationship online is determined by a number of factors.....Women, especially the better looking ones typically receive numerous emails from men....in selecting who they will respond to(aside from the outright sexual innuendos in an email) they tend to go with looks first.....so as a guy its very important that your profile picture presents you in the best possible way or you won't get very far.....now gorgeous is in 'the eye of the beholder' and it is my opinion that anyone can be good looking sometimes.....its all in the presentation....for example, if I'm into country music & consider myself a cowboy type, then I want a picture that would convey this image....in other words, be true to who you are and present yourself that way, you'll have a much better chance of finding someone who is right for you...