"What's going on? Have you found someone yet? I'm starting to get worried about you."

Heard this from a friend recently. She seems to think there's something wrong with me for being single for so long. Heh, looking at the source (she's been in and out of "serious relationships" as often as I change my socks) it's hard for me to take her seriously. Personally, I think I'm better off alone than with the wrong person.

But it did make me wonder how many other people here have heard something like this from a friend or family member.
Have you been told something like this too?

yeah, that what i get for not settling anymore...lol

Yes up til about 6 months ago my grandchildren were always worried about me. My eldest had seen that commercial on t.v. for lifeline and she just about panicked. She told me if I wasn't going to get a man to take care of me I should get one of them since I was so old.

I sat down and figured up in my 48 years I have been single in my adult life way more than I have been in a relationship. Funny I never felt deprived. I am now wondering if I should be.

Damn I hate double posts.
I tried to email you and can't will you send a short message. please..
thanks

What's wrong with me is I am mostly comfortable with being single and the men I've met haven't been satisfactory mates. Just tell people you don't want to settle for any old warm body. Nothing worse than being in a screwed up relationship.

Yes, been told that more then once. Truth is, having someone isn't going to make me OK or make me NOT ok! I think, perhaps, it's just human nature for those who care about us to wish we had all the things in life that is SUPPOSE to make us happy, more often than not, by someone else's definition of happy! If it happens that I meet someone, great, if not, I'm STILL happy and have a good life!

Done. You should have it in your inbox soon.

Constantly. By people who have no idea what the actual "options" are like. Sorry, I'm not interested in being with a slug just to satisfy some pseudo-acquaintance's expectations of what my life "should" be.

That's pretty much what I told her. You're right, there is nothing worse than being in a screwed up relationship.

So true. We get raised to believe all this "American Dream" stuff, but it is not all it is cracked up to be and that recipe hasn't worked too well all around for me. As individuals, we should take what applies and discard the rest. But some people will always try to shove stuff down our throats. It's the bar THEY perceive as it's all they know.

Same here. Good for you that you won't settle either.

I think settling is one of the cruelest things a person could do to another. Think about deep down they would know that you settled for them talk about putting a trip on them. I can't do it.

I would rather be alone than settle for someone because there are times I am lonely.
I can't do it. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with me. Only at family reunions and such when people look at me with pity in their eyes that I am single. WTH... I am happier than most of them are.

But they're operating under the old traditional "expectations" and "norms" -- we're all supposed to pair off and go blithely into the mindless oblivion of doing things because that's the way they're "supposed" to be done.

I can't function that way.

And most of the people I know who HAVE gone that way, at the root, are not really all that happy with their lives. They feel trapped -- locked in. (They're never allowed to say that out loud in front of the partner though -- another "tradition.") There's a sense of hopeless inevitability to their entire existences....it WILL be this way because that's just how it works....I do know of a few exceptions, but they're a distinct minority.

I couldn't do it.

I'd rather be single than be with someone I am not happy with. My sister calls me at least 5 times a week complaining about my brother in law. Being single is hard, and thankfully this is the first Christmas in 5 years someone hasn't asked me why I am single.

Luckily my friends and family don't ask those kinds of questions.

Exactly. I think it's a little sad that a lot of people (certainly among my family & friends anyways) still cling to the "you're not truly happy without a mate" idea. I've seen way too many people get married for the wrong reasons and then wonder why they're so unhappy.

It'd be nice to find someone but it's not going to dictate my happiness.

I guess I am the way I am is because I was single for 12 years after my husband passed away. I met my second husband and thought why not I am in my late 30's and I don't want to be alone. That marriage was hell on earth, I know he knew as I did deep down that we weren't a match. We led different lives and had such a vast core difference in belief's, we both stayed in it for years since we both were tradionalists and I have to be honest when he cheated I was deep down relieved there was my out. I took it and started living again. Yes it was hard but I have to say I don't think of myself as deprived except in one area The rest of my life is so full and enriched busy etc...

I never heard that. My mother and friends and coworkers are quite aware that what's LEFT (ROTFL) are poor prospects.

I get that at family reunions too.

Just about all of my filipina friends ask me this. Of course they are all married to rich white men......