Posted this in the sex thread. But since that doesn't show up, thought I would post it here, since I think it belongs here anyway....

As I was sitting in a hot bath before bed, a thought crossed my mind and I started to contemplate it and look at past relationships.

Which lead me to this question:

Does really fabulous sex get in the way of forming a lasting relationship?

You've know a guy for a little while, things are going really really great, and when you finally get to the point of sex it is completely fantastic. And as time goes by, you realize the guy has come to think of you in terms of sex rather than a girlfriend or a relationship.

I'm wondering this because I'm looking back and the better the sex, the shorter the relationship. The better the sex, the more the guy stops doing relationship things sooner. And only focuses on the sex.

The better the sex, the soon the guy decides to move on looking for the relationship they started, but with someone else.

And I'm not talking about jumping in bed with someone too soon either. I'm talking about when both of you have invested time in getting to know each other and are really starting something before throwing sex into the mix.

Is this just me or is there something to this idea?

The more fabulous the sex, the longer the relationship would be. If it's that fabulous, why go look elsewhere? But that's just me.

Wow...great topic. I really need to think about this one for a minute.

I'm not 100% sure, but could it be lasting relationships that get in the way of good sex?

just a thought...

I don't think I have lived long enough to voice my opinion on this one...but great sex can make a relationship last longer than it should have...I have never heard of great sex subtly sabotaging a relationship.

I'm pretty much the opposite. But I tend not to have sex with somebody unless I already have at least some feelings for.

I guess that maybe a shorter way to say all that might go something like this.

When the sex turns out to be mind-blowingly great, does the relationship move from relationship status to booty call status?

Or am I the only one finding this to be true?

Because after the past 4 years, I'm finding that even after spending months building a relationship, and things going great, if the sex turns out to be really really good, then the guy starts to fixate on sex, and only want to talk about sex, and eventually doesn't want to do dating things and only wants to get together for sex.

And then either I end it because I want more than JUST sex or he ends it because he feels it's time to look for someone he can have a 'relationship' with.

Um, which was what we had before he got obsessed with sex.

I think they go hand in hand...can't have one without the other or one of the peoples not gonna be to satified with the relationship but what the hell do I know

I think that it's just you...

I have found that great sex has allways been part of a great realationship ... when the connection has been there on other levels the sex has allways been better for me

When I can connect on other levels it always makes me want to be an unselfish lover in bed and usually ends up leading to the whole "give as good as you get" scenario and becomes a wonderfully vicious cycle

Its part of a good relationship. At least at first.

I really don't think they're mutually exclusive OR inclusive. I've had the LTR's, without the great sex, and the great sex without the LTR's.
I think it's just subjective to a particular situation.

I dont think a good realtionship can survive with bad sex,.... but a bad relationship might be saved with some real good sex....

im still looking for either..LOLOLOL

Please... All my Ex's would still give me one if I went after it... but they dam sure wouldn't want to get back together in a live under the same roof scenario...

that sex part never seems to go away...

While this is a great question....I personally have never had a great relationship(I'm on a free online dating site)

WOW

And here I thought that this was a way to expose myself to more than just the locals

Heres the thing...if I was involved in a great relationship...I wouldn't be here...signed up here...mind blowing sex...yes...had that...but never a great relationship

I'd say that great sex can definitely be part of a great relationship. That's not to say you can't have great sex while not in a relationship.

True... that's what she said!!!

great sex and a great relationship go hand in hand you can't have one without the other.. question for you... if the relationship was just ok would you stick it out? if the sex was just ok would you stick it out? sure you would ...for a while to see if it gets better but at some point being realistic here you need and want both don't you.... so its hand in hand...

Moondark: Men have always always always fixated on me for only sex. Whether I had been intimate with them or not! I always thought it was because they were just glad to be getting any type of sex.. I did not think it was because the attraction or physcial part was so passionate. They do not fixate on me for relationships, either. I'd say maybe hold off on any intimacy (and that is very very hard to do) until you have a 'commitment' of some sort from the guy if you wish to have a long term relationship with them, and even then, there are no guarantees. No, you are not the only one to have experienced what you have described. Thanks!