Have you ever thought you could completely forgive and completely trust
someone again after she/he has cheated. Afterall, trust is the
foundation of any relationship, right?

i agree with u,abstract..i cheated on my ex-husband a few yrs ago..thats
one of the reasons he divorced me..but now hes forgiven me and what not
and wants to try with me again..i cant get back together with him for
what i did and i have forgiven myself as well..i would never, ever do it
again, but i dont see us getting back..it wont work and not just cause
of that, but for other reasons as well..

Yep, it is, which is why I'd never forgive someone for cheating on me.
After much deliberation I MIGHT stay with them..but I'd probably be
absolutely miserable and even though I'd be able to let it go to an
extent, it would forever haunt me.

So I'd either leave or just "even the score." What's good for the goose,
yanno... LOL. hehe

My ex-husband cheated on me in a bar, on his birthday with a One-Night
Stand to impress his friends. After finding out the disgusting details
of why it happened...I decided to leave him.
He begged me not to...but I did anyway about 8 months later.
We still contined to be "with" each other, but we did it "apart"! I
really tried to re-gain the trust I had in him...but the feeling
of"Betrayal" wouldn't allow me to do it. So therefore, I asked for a
"divorce" (which he reluctantly gave me) so that I could move on with my
life. The pain of leaving someone that you love because you can't trust
them anymore is worst than someone actually "cutting" out your heart
with a knife while you're still breathing.

Trust is the major "factor" in any relationship...without it-you have
nothing! We all deserve a second chance...but in my
opinion..."Once a Cheater...Always a Cheater" But Time does
heal all wounds...LOL...Rose

my ex cheated on me and i tried to forgive her and work it out but as
hard as i tried it was always on my mind. Whenever she was late or
didn't answer the phone almost anything set the suspicions off. I
couldn't handle it cause it was making me crazy. had to let her go and
I've never regretted it. I honestly believe once a cheater always a
cheater.

Said before, we both cheated on eachother. Got help, found the real
problem & found us again. Gwen died in my arms May 2, 97. We loved
eachother more then, than when we got married. Love her still, you can
forgive; never forget. Find the reason for the problem, before you
decide the punishment. If revenge drives you, dig 2 graves for revenge
hurts the taker as much as the geter. Never say never. Don't burn a
bridge you might want to use again.

Just an old man's opinion

Well I never cheated on my girlfriends a lot of time it just didn't
work out:(

Yeah I thought I could forgive my ex for cheating on me. But this was
the deal. I only thought he cheated on me with another woman...but it
turned out that he was cheating on me with not only her, but with
several MEN as well. When I found out about the woman, we tried to work
things out, and things were good for about a month. But deep in my
heart, I still felt that he was up to his old tricks. And then that's
when everything just came out in the open and I caught him in the act
with one of the guys. Yeah I am permanently scarred from the image left
in my head of what I saw. But, there is no way that I would be able to
reconcile with a person who cheated on me. By them doing that, it just
shows me that they weren't really in the relationship. And furthermore,
I wouldn't want to be with anyone who doubted for one second that they
wanted to be with me. It's not worth all the emotional distress.

Esperanza

yes I agree...

You Can Forget...But...Never Forget

you can forgive geez...sorry

Yeah like Styx said, you can forgive, but DON'T forget. Remember it so
you can try to avoid it the next time the situation may arise.

This is a hard one for me. Every man I've been with cheated, except one.
Those are not good odds. With my last one I tried and tried to work it
out. Saying he was sorry, and crying but the next weekend doing the same
thing. I am no one to "forgive" him. I won't forget.

The man I am dating admitted to cheating on his wife and having an
affair. That does NOT mean he isn't sorry. He lost his wife and daughter
because of it. He was young and stupid. He admits his fault, and I would
never have found out if it weren't for him being honest with me. I don't
condone cheating, but I will not make him responsible and punish him for
the acts of others. He has my complete trust until I see that he doesn't
deserve it. I don't believe he would ever do it again, and that he is
remorseful. Everyone makes mistakes, and I will not judge him for it. I
am only concerned about who/what/how he is with me and what we become
together in the future.

Forgive...yes, forget...too hard to...but won't punish others for it.

these are some sad postings

my ex cheated...

I forgave him and took him back...

I got jealous every time he was talking

to some chick...duh

and I was freaking scared that he would

do it to me again...

and I didn't want to get hurt again...

I know that feeling styx...but that means we never really "forgave" them
to begin with.

probably blanca...



it hurt...

and taking him back was just wrong...

it didn't work out...

cheating is a no no...

but it can happen to all of us...

Any kind of breach of trust can be devastating, be it a
spouse, partner, friend.

The cause probably doesn't have anything to do with the
offended as much as with the character of the individual
who perpetrated it.

I don't believe the answer is to do a 'like' action.
Where's the dignity in that?

Don't have an answer. Would be an individual's choice to
assess.

No, cheating is not "fun" and was never "intended" to be...only for the
"cheater". At least they think so at the time and don't think about the
consequences. My last ex was always on cocaine and that effected his
rationality. He would justify everything and with the alcohol
too...double whammy.

Cheating is never a good thing, but if you know in your heart you can
never trust them afterwards, don't go back. It's not fair to either one.
You can only make the situation worse by living with the "mistrust"
until it eats you alive. It's not worth it. Professional help afterwards
is sometimes needed.

Of course, if we just don't cheat...it eliminates the problem, now
doesn't it? I've always told my ex's that when I am no longer wishing to
be with them, I would have enough ba*** to tell them to their face
FIRST. They weren't man enough to. Sad when a woman has more ba*** than
a man.

very wise words blanca...

I'm so sorry to hear that almost

every guy you dated cheated on you...

I hope you will get lucky one

of these days...

hurting you and letting you go is their loss...

not yours...!

you...

we all deserve better than that...

Styx thankyou. I did deserve better and I have it. He's wonderful!