Heh. My list of things that I am looking for boils down to one thing. That thing is....

Everything that I am never going to have.

Makes for a very short and simple list.

Yay!

That's almost sad...never say never???

Thanks for sharing!

Nobody said anything about there being test!!!!!

Well. It hasn't happened so far. No point in thinking anything is gonna really change.

Lists like these make me uncomfortable...
Sure, I'd like a partner with traits that are upstanding, honest, etc. I also know you are supposed to really KNOW what you want (and put it "out there") in order to manifest it.

My problem is that people are people are people and having expectations usually sets us up for disappointments. I figure I can have the ideal list somewhere in my head and see how closely any person matches...and if they do great! If they don't, that's fine too although that probably means we aren't a match!) If they don't exactly match but the relationship works amazingly well...that's sounds pretty good as well. I guess I just don't think it's not my job to try to mold anyone into a specific list I've made.

Maybe that means I won't find the right person at all. But maybe it means I get to be surprised at how much better a real person than anything I can write a list for.

Just thinking out loud

Well, rosey palm and her five sisters don't ask for much, so I don't think I want or need anything.

Got it all right here in the palm of my hand.... LOL

That's ok! Thinking out loud is GREAT!

And I am sure most of us will agree that any list made is flexible. The 'one' may come long and knock our socks off and not be anything like the list. Now most of us with any common sense (or can type and make any sense) can tell you that most of wouldn't discount someone just because they don't meet everything on the list. However, we know ourselves and know what hasn't worked, and what our needs are in a relationship.... so with that said we may be able to through somethings out there.

ya! You just keep doing what you need to do!

Goofy Pimp at that!

Hmmmmm let's see #1; tits and ass I can bounce a quarter off of. Simple list.

I still think its easier to list what I don't want. But like THAT'S never been talked about on here.

Ok, so what the heck.... its almost Christmas, maybe Santa is reading...

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1) Must not have more body or facial hair than me.

2) Must be under 300 pounds.

3) Must not own more firearms or bullets than me.

4) Must sell her biggest pistol if it is bigger than my biggest pistol. (Bragging rights are sort of a guy thing...)

5) Understands that my buying of guitars is part of my normal religious activities all year long.

6) Must not be missing any teeth in front.

7) No genital piercings.

8) Must love big dogs. (well, just one dog, my dog Koko.)

9) No yappy Chihuahuas or other yappy prissy little dogs.

10) Must bathe and brush teeth regularly.

11) Leaves me alone when I am thinking.

12) Craves sex 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

13) Still believes in the tooth fairy.

14) Has less than 22 children.

15) Is over 18 (except in Virginia and Georgia).

16) Doesn't drink alcohol, do any kind of drugs, or smoke tobacco (including pipes, cigars and L&M non-filters...).

17) Doesn't chew tobacco.

18) Doesn't spend ten thousand dollars on home improvements several times during the year while I am gone working on the road, without telling me first. (That was my ex-wife... just thought I'd put that one out there.)

19) Has never been married or has been married less than 22 times.

20) Doesn't screw my best friend.

21) Knows how to check the oil in the car.

22) Likes to backpack into the woods for days and days at a time in deep wildernesses that have bears, mountain lions and lot's of snakes.

23) Preferrably less than 7 ex-boyfriends names tattooed to her butt-cheeks.

24) Must b-itch, complain and stir up drama less than 8 hours a day, preferrably when I am at work.

25) Must NOT have sex with her own children.... (total turn-off there....)

26) Talks to God when sober.

27) Has a good contact list for a plumber, drywaller, electrician, and all-around handyman, and knows how to call them and leave me the hell alone when it comes to crap like that.

28) Generally smells pretty, preferrably light rose scent or maybe lilacs.

29) Doesn't glob on make-up like Tammy Faye Baker.

30) Has less than 7,126 pairs of shoes. And if the number goes over 7,126, she is willing to donate some of her collection to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

31) Likes to travel.

32) Thinks living on a mountain, about 573 miles from any other human being would be ideal.

33) Would be willing to live outside of capitalism and every other known form of world government, and consider the Earth as having no imaginary geographical boundaires.

34) Treats every human being the same, regardless of the color of their skin or any belief they can muster up out of their peeky little language boxes.

35) Aspires to be a gah-zillionaire with me so that we can live 573 miles from any other human being, and donate tons of money completely and utterly anonymously to thousands of philanthropic charities.

36) Gigglesnorts when she farts.

37) Knows how to make incredible hot home-made salsa.

38) Likes to spar with me using our collective Shaolin Kung Fu skills, even when we are not arguing.

39) Buys me cool gun accessories on my birthday.

40) Knows how to skin, clean, field dress, transport, and package wild game. (Includes fish.)

41) Likes wearing camo and planning our survival after America collapses.

42) Knows how to field strip and clean at least 10 different modern military small arm rifles and shotguns (including but not limited to, the AR-15/M-16 weapons format, the Kalishnikov AK-47, the FN/FAL, the H&K model 91, 92, and 93, the Remington 870 12 guage, the Remington model 1100 12 guage, the Mossberg 590 12 guage, the Remington model 700 sniper rifle (i.e. the USMC M40A3), and knows how to field strip at least the Colt 1911 .45ACP and the Beretta model 92 9mm.)

[if Santa is listening, what the hell... going for broke here...]

43) Her father owns a gun store.

44) Her uncle owns a Guitar Center store.

45) I get an unlimited amount of additions to my list before making my choice.



That ought to about do it....

...now, where's my perfect girl at ????????????

Its funny how people who put the missing teeth requirement are ok as long as the front teeth are there..

Well, I forgot to add if she can take them all out, it is probably a plus during oral sex.

And... the only reason she needs front teeth, is because when the front ones are missing, women tend to whistle when they speak.

I still want a woman with tits and ass so firm I can bounce a quarter off em.

I found that rather interesting myself.

I would trade a mouthful of front teeth on my babe for a woman with her own Barret .50 caliber any day....



Now, that is one sexy-assed gun.......

looks to me like she already has a wedding ring on...

Who the heck's looking at the GIRL....... ???????