The Proudest Day of my Life



Three years ago my wife and I divorced and the court awarded me primary conservatorship of my son, Joshua.

Being a father was something that I had never planned on. I waited eight years before giving in to my ex-wife's wishes to be parents. I thought that having a child would slow me down. Ground me. Restrain my freedom of movement. I lived the outdoorsman's dream life, an Alaskan sportsman. Why would I ever want to ruin it by having children?

On June 6, of 1999 my son was born and all my misgivings were tossed out the window. Why on earth would I ever NOT want to be a father? Forget adventure, fishing, hunting and skiing! I just wanted to spend time with him.

We left Alaska and moved to Texas because we did not want to be introducing him to his grandparents once yearly. How amazing to me that being a father could make me change not just my lifestyle but my environment like that?

I was a very good dad. The court in Texas is not known to favor Father's and yet they chose me to be the primary parent, and there was no way I was going to let them down.

Consistency was my primary focus. Especially because of the upheaval his mother and I had introduced into his life because of the divorce. I believe in strong boundaries and I had rules that were not stretchable. Joshua knew in advance what the repercussions were before he ever committed a transgression. I had talked to counselors and they all agreed that the key to Joshua adjusting well to his new situation was not leniency because I felt sorry for him, but maintaining strong boundaries to make him feel more comfortable.

My hometown's Elementary schools have a system of colors designating your child's behavior. A yellow means they got in trouble once that day. An orange was indicative of multiple acts and a red meant a trip to the Principals office.

One yellow meant that Josh lost a privilege the following day, Computer or TV. Two Yellows in a week was a spanking. an Orange or a Red was an automatic spanking.

One week Joshua came home with an Orange on Monday. We talked, and Joshua got a spanking.

The next day was a yellow, and he was spanked again.

The third day was a red, and Joshua was spanked once more.

Thursday he came home crying. I asked what was wrong and he said, "Daddy, I get another spanking today."

My heart was broken. There was no way on earth that I wanted to go through that again. I looked at him and I couldn't help but to cry,

"Joshua, do you know how much I love you? Do you understand that the last thing I want to do is to spank you?"

He said yes and looked at me crying.

"What am I going to do? Joshua, I don't want to punish you, I want to hug you. Do you believe me?"

Joshua hugged me, sobbing, and said, "Yes Daddy, I'm sorry, I don't want to make you spank me. I want you to hug me too."

We sat like that for half an hour, crying, until we both fell asleep.



The next day I picked Josh up from school and the first thing I asked when he got into the car was, "How did you do today?"

Joshua answered, "Daddy, today I get a hug."

Every day after that for six months I was answered with the same reply;

"Daddy, today I get a hug."

One day Joshua's Principal called me at home.

"Mr. Szilva", she said, "I have something special for Joshua at the awards ceremony tomorrow and I think you might want to be there".

I told her I wouldn't miss it for the world.

The next day I entered the auditorium of Hartman Elementary and took a seat in the front row. Sitting cross-legged in front of the stage were all of Hartman's students. I made out Joshua and got his attention, waving at him.

On the stage, behind the podium was a single chair, sitting up there all by its lonesome. I pictured the Principal, Mrs. Speicher, using it while she addressed the crowd. Instead she walked in, and addressed the students from the auditorium floor.

"Today', she announced, "I'm happy to give an award to a very special student. This student has made me prouder than any other child I've known and this award is the most special one I've ever given. This young man has had a difficult year, starting it out with yellows, oranges and reds every week. This has changed though and I'd like Joshua to please come take the seat on the stage.

Joshua looked up with shock on his face. He'd had no idea he was getting anything at all. He looked at me with his mouth opened then headed to Mrs. Speicher. Mrs. Speicher draped a ribbon with a medal on it around his neck, and pointed to the solo chair sitting on the stage.

"Joshua has not had a bad mark in six months". She announced and lead the crowd in applause.

I watched my son sitting there, and could not help but to cry.

In public.

I did not care, that was MY son and I would never be prouder in my entire life.

Joshua sat there like a little gentleman and every once in a while he'd look over at me and give me a quick wave.

I am so glad I ruined my life by having a child.

www.datinginsanity.blogspot.com

That touched me to tears. God is going to reward your faithfulness to Him and your son.Children are a blessing from God.

Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Sounds like you are passing with flying colors...Good luck and enjoy each moment.

Amazing story. I love being a parent more than anything in the world. I'd give up anything to be here for my son. He is very lucky to have you!

Ah thank you folks, but I no longer have him. His mother divorced me and married her boss, and they weere able to take me back to court. After 2 years they took Josh from me and gave him to my ex.

I no longer see him regularly.

Keep praying....the effectual fervant prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Awesome and inspiring story. I was moved to tears also. In agreement with beautyfrompain, keep praying.

Beautifully and lovingly written

Is your mother anywhere around this site, or perhaps the other one?

As a single mother myself, I know how hard it can be to raise a child. Thank you for sharing this wonderful and touching story with all of us.

I dont know where I would be with out my daughter. Now as she is turning 18 on friday and graduating college in May, I look back and the last 18 yrs with fond memories. I know that as the years go by you and your son will create wonderful memories to last a life time.

You are doing a wonderful job and he will be a fine young man.

God Bless you and your son.

Um What?

that is not fair, I am so sorry, keep praying and you will get him back.