You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

I don't know about others but I know about my self being drunk when I start with no reason.What about you guys ?

when you are drivig home and you swerve to miss a tree jump the curb and take out your mailbox and then relize it was your air freshner

You shouldn't drink and drive you might hit a bump and spill your beer

I know that I've had too many when I think that I am actually aware that I've had too many.

We leave on Oprah when we are drinking. As soon as she starts getting attractive we stop.

You might know your too drunk when your at a store drunk and asking for more beer. I've seen this more then once where i work at.

"Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you"

You know you're drunk when you can walk a straight circle!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

The best way to tell if you're in the wrong lane when Driving drunk is well, there are headlights coming directly towards you. Or, you're on the gas, but you're not moving anywhere, you're either in a ditch, or in park. Don't ask me how i know.

when you think the taxi fair is the time!