OK I just finished crying my eyes out but I am done and OK now. I just
want to know why.....
I met a man online a month ago and him and I connected on EVERY level.
We talked for hours on end everyday and we went out on the weekends and
had a great time.
A little background on us so you might be able to give me some insite
here.
I have lost over 90 pounds in the last 11 months and I am so proud of
myself but I still have some insecurities about my body. He was married
to a lady who was very large so that didnt bother him.
Latley he has almost been playing a game with me as he wants to push me
to feel so comfortable with him on all aspects so he has been pushing me
to get over my body insecurity. Almost like, "if you love me enough you
wouldnt feel insecure with me" Do men not know if women are insecure
about their body it takes time to feel comfortable with a man in that
aspect? Why push us?
He had told me his wife was so insecure it caused problems in their
marriage.
I might have my insecurities but that doesnt get in the way of me being
with someone on a intiment level.
I kind of feel I was a challenge to him and since he didnt win it was
put on me? He would play games to see if I was sinsere to him. I called
him on it tonight and told him I can no longer see him as it was making
me uncomfotable feeling I had to over come something to keep him around.
He said insecurity turned him off.
Do men really have that hard of a time with a women being self consious
or was it his own insecurity?
I am glad I cut it off now as my feelings were getting pretty strong.
I had a few tears but I will make it through it again as always lol

first off i say no worrys

if someone tells ya that ya have to do this or that to be with them

thats all wrong

they need to get a dog to control
not a woman nor a man

if we cant accept each other the way we are
with all of our imperfections
then move on

someone will love ya for who n what ya are

i hope this helps

party on...

so sorry shagna

tan


i sure miss those legs



but we dont want to glich the system again

do we


party on,,,

He just used the oldest trick in the book! It might be the only one he
knows! You ever hear that song by Nas called, Baby Girl Found Her
S-E-X? This is what your story reminds me of. Anyway you're right.
He's trying what he thinks will work to get at the pusssy.

Sounds to me like he doesn't understand people very well.

Insecurity isn't something you choose to have, or not to have. It
happens, it's there, you find ways to deal with it, or you try to ignore
it and pretend it doesn't exist, but there is no quick fix. There is no
on/off switch. You can make the choice to address it, to work on it,
but it takes some time, maybe many years.

I believe that a person who cares about you would never make you feel
like "if you love me enough you wouldn't feel insecure with me" --
that's not something you have immediate control over, and for him to
expect that of you is insensistive and unrealistic.

A person who really cared would be there to help you deal with the
insecurities, would be there to listen, and would accept you dealing
with it at your own pace. He would be sensitive to your wishes on this
subject, and would not try to make you feel bad because you weren't
doing what he wanted you to do on his schedule.

Lex you have a great way with words when I read it I thought exactly but
I couldn't have written any better

Shagna What Lex says

Thank you, I just didnt want to self doubt myself. I knew what he was
doing was wrong but I just wanted someone elces thoughts on it.

shag be proud of yourself that you put your foot down and said enough
of his crap.

also congrats on the weight lost i know its not an easy thing to do.

Shag, I think you are right when you suggest that his own insecurities
played a role in this too, and Lex was right on - he was being
'insensistive and unrealistic'.

Its so great to hear you making this decision for yourself, while also
maintaining a fair outlook on the situation as a whole. Sounds like in
other areas you are very secure with yourself.

AAWW SHAG XXXXX"S N OOOOOOO"S .

It is just so sad that others insecurities play such a big role in
things. I would think 2 people would want to work on them as a team not
against one another.

Shsg ... first of all congrats on your issue about the weight. IF you
are comfy and healthy ?? then good for you .
Secondly .. all I have read is right on . I feel sorry for "your lost
pal" , as he has WAY deeper issues then just , insecurities ... wow ...
and you sound better for cutting it in the Quick as it were .... hang
in there dear ... all WILL work out ... :)