I have neighbour who has a scabby old mongrel dog & I was buying a large
bag of Purina at the local pet store, and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door

Thanks Duncan....Yoga I hear helps with err...flexibility and cleaning
of parts...

(and please, that scratching behind the ear???
Is not so noticable if you don't do that tic thing with the other leg.)

You ain't right, Belushi..you just ain't right!

GOOD one!!!

A very inventive to tell the old lady to mind her own businss!

That was just too funny.