Hi I'm ,Jim I lost my father to brain,lung and bone cancer on 9/10/08. I am having a very hard time with dealing with it still. I am in therapy but have been for years. Everthing just seems so hopeless to me like what is the point to life. SometimeS I just wish it would end where I wouldn't have to wake up with anxiety anymore. I've always been depressed but this is different somehow. I really feel like giving up. I know people say hang in there but for what? Nothing ever changes. I feel guilty because I know there are people who are worse off than me but I can't help how I feel. I think I just hang in there because I need to take care of my mother. Work is the worst because I have to talk to people and just want to go and hide away somewhere. I really feel people just don't understand what I am going through. Well I hope I don'nt depress anyone with this but just felt like writing about it.

Thanks,
Jim

It's ok and natural to feel the way you do. You never stop missing people you love especially one's parents. Hang in there!

Im so sorry for your loss- I truly am

sometimes it just helps to get how you are feeling out in the open- just to talk to anyone- an objective party. You feel that you have to be strong and care for your Mom but who is being strong for you? You need a friend- someone to just vent to and perhaps a therapist- at least talk to a professional - they can give you excellent ideas on how to deal with your devastating loss

I know you are sad but you know that your Dad isn't suffering anymore so that is good and He is always going to be alive in your heart so he is always there for you.

Good luck- my thoughts and prayers for you and your family

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is something that hurts for a long time. Will you ever get over it? I doubt it, but it does get easier. I lost my Dad almost 4 years ago now. At first it was unbearable. BUT I had my daughter who was only a year and a half. She kept me sane. I still miss him terrible but keep his memory alive. He wouldn't want me to be depressed, he would want me to live my life as happy as I could and care for his granddaughter as good as I can too. I'm sure you're dad wouldn't want you feeling the way you do. Remember the good times. And also remember that it is natural to go through so many emotions when something tragic like that happens.

Good Luck.

my condolences on your loss. I lost my dad to cancer almost nine years ago. I can understand how you feel, the shock of loosing a parent can rock you to the core, even if it is from an illness over time. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make it easier for you at this moment. Time is the only thing that can do that. Remeber all of the good quality times that you shared with your dad, cry for him a little. Mourn on your own timeline, not anyone elses, but it isn't good for you to dwell too long. it's okay to feel the way that you do. It's natural.

Couldn't say it any better, I had the same experience 8 years ago. Time will ease your burden, but seek support if you really think of giving up, and pulling away from the world. I lost my job over my depression of my Dad's passing.

Awwwww sorry to hear this Jim. I lost my dad several years ago and it is very hard indeed. I never dreamed I would lose a parent before I was 40 years old. It's good your getting some counseling for it, but I agree that you can't let the grief ruin your own life. That's not what your Dad would have wanted I'm sure. Life must go on for you. Maybe find some charity or something to help out in your spare time? Helping others may ease your pain a bit.

jim find the widows widower thread.....
its like an online support group.....many people that have dealt with a loss!!!

Jim, I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you are in therapy, but wonder if you have tried a bereavement group, they have them at most hospitals. It is a group of people who have lost family members and they deal specifically with that issue. Are you on an antidepressant? Sometimes they help some people a great deal. Your dad would not want you hurting. He is no longer in pain, he is free and no longer suffering. Your mom does need you and loves you as I am sure you love her. Try to concentrate on the good memories. Don't let the grief ruin your life. Increase your therapy if you need to, make sure your therapist knows how you are feeling. Talk to your family doctor if you need a medication. There is help out there, just ask for it.

My dad died on Monday, I know he is not hurting anymore and he is now in a better place.

Try to live your life the best you can, your dad would want that for you. Take care of yourself. Be sure to ask for whatever help you need, it is out there.

Jim - another thing that may help you is to volunteer at a nursing home. There are lots of lonely elderly people in those homes who would love to have a visitor to talk to. You may find it helpful to process some of your feelings about your dad. Many of the elderly men and women have lost sons and daughters and you would be helping them as well as their helping you. My dad was in a home for what would have been 2 years next month and I became attached to one lady in particular, she was so sweet. The staff were really nice and they appreciated me coming to visit dad too. I know they appreciate volunteers. It may help you to get out and visit with some of these older people, and you would be making them happy and feel better too. Just a thought.