AGREE

Sage I admire that it worked for you and Gwen. But my ex did not just
have one affair it was more than one in the time it happen and for me
there is no forgiven when it comes to that. For those that I know that
have tried to forgive and make it work honestly your the only one that I
have heard that it has worked for them. So you were one of the lucky
ones. Maybe I'm being shallow but when it comes to cheating in my book
that is as low as one can go. I have no desire to hear his reasons for
such a thing or to listen to his excuses for being that weak. If they
don't have the balls to try to work and make a relantionship work than
there not man enough for me.

so to me that makes it just inexcusable. not to mention the pain that
one would be going through. it's not even a option for me. if she wants
my trust i also want hers.

Txs,

I agree with all of you. We were/are an exception to the rule. I
just want everyone to deal with life from their HEART, not react in
anger. During our hard times Gwen hung a saying by Gandhi, where I
would see it; OVER th TOILET. I read it for quite a while before I
REALLY read it

"When you're in the right you can afford to KEEP your temper.

When your in the wrong you CAN'T AFFORD to lose it"

I can be very verbally & intimadatingly abusive, back then I didn't
realize it. I now control those actions & go there only by choice,
since I quit the mechanic thing, I find no need.
I learned EVERYTHING in life is a choice.
I now make my choices rather than reacting to situations.

My choices only work for me & might not be right for anyone else.

I have tried to read all the post as QUICK as I can to get the jist of
the topic generally. I don't have much time so let me see: There a
people, both men and women, whose interests are to have, what they call
a GOOD time, with as may people of the opposite sex as they can; or even
the SAME sex. Then are people who, again both men and women, who are
looking for an ETERNAL relationship. As you know, when one from one
group meet one from another group and wishes, because of chemistry or
whatever else,to have compatability, it will not lasts until,or if one
changes. In precision, some men do not WANT, an eternal relationship
yet, or at all. That is the reality (just like some women,) Some men,
however, are like that BECAUSE of what they went through or what the
SAW others go through in Court where women get everything and have their
way. In any case, EVERYTHING in the Western World is gared to PLEASE THE
FEMALE. Men can do NOTHING about it. We CANNOT do without them. So some
men REALIZE, in spite of WHAT, I will seek me one female for life. And
MANY men are just as UNLUCKY as some women are in seeking that ONLY one.
Some men are HAPPY then to get 'TRAPPED' as it were. A man who RUNS from
that just because he does NOT want a commitment, is NOT 'class' man; and
does not deserve you, inspite how CUTE he looks and how HARD he feels.
Does he? If a woman says that she is willing to forgive ONE act of
cheating, (she might men 2 or 3) it shows me that she is WIFE material.
And is a come on. But if a woman says that she will 'bobbit' at the
first appearance that it looks like he is cheating? A man wil think:
"Suppose someone carries false information to my wife as a joke or
spite, she is likely to cutt off my manhood while chained down or
asleep. So I'd better leave her alone." Some of the things Sluggo says,
I agree except about the woman STAYING home. There are some men who love
a woman to stay home. It is the women nowadays who do NOT want to stay
home. But if the woman AGRREES to live on the salary of the man, many
men have NO PROBLEM with that. If a womam looks like she will be BOSSY
in public especially, insultding and embarrassing him, as men cannot
retaliate nowadays, it is BETTER he leaves that woman alone, rather than
LOSE a future ASSAULT battle in Court. A woman could have all her way
with a man, and be the BOSS, just by being or PLAYING humble. A man
LOVES a HUMBLE woman and some don't REALIZE THAT, technically,
everything she wants, she gets. He is HAPPY TO HAVE her spend his money,
just do not SHOUT orders at him.

When you find out, if you do!!

Anger= I'll cheat too, NOT me.
Anger= Yell and raise hell, NOT me.

I feel like I am a level headed person, not perfect by all means. Recon
I'm just old fashioned. I agree with slow about when it comes to that
point and you are not talking about it, then it is too late. Cheating
(adultry) what ever you choose to call it, is not acceptable to me,
although I tried to forgive it not forget it. Myself, I would NEVER let
that happen before talking or divorceing. Just my opinion. I am sure my
EX beleives I cheated as I was accused of it frequently! Okay, enough
ranting!!

In spite of opinions to the contrary, I think anger is a very
appropriate reaction to certain wrongs committed against us. I think
it's unhealthy to not be expected to express it, because it is just one
of many human emotions. BUT...

It's equally unhealthy to express it in the wrong ways, e.g., by going
overboard with it -- hurting someone or killing them, etc.

All things in moderation.

Grieving, if a man needs a woman to tell him what to do, how to behave,
etc., (or vice versa) then he's not ready to make a commitment.

JEAN!!!!WELCOME BACK!!!

If she wanted
me to help her
pick out something
for the wedding registry.

introducing to her kids and telling them, hey kids he is ur dad for this
week.
")

Jean....I'd rather someone be succinct as well....I see wayyyy to much
gray area...this trying ro read between the lines stuff...I think you've
hit on something there in regard to non-commital. I don't know if it's
my enginnering background or what...but I'm a bottom line kind of person
w/ tact hopefully....I try not to sugar coat to much by being
realistic...it just makes things much more clear....I'd say continue the
way you are...someone will appreciate the fact that you have a definate
vision for what you want!...Of course I my age LOL...it has alot of
bearing the matter! ;)

Her discussing what type of restains, or demands would occur if there
was a serious relationship between us, and no I would not
have a discussion with her about it.