So I have a friend. Everyone thinks of him as that guy that drinks all the time because it's fun. However, I know he typically doesn't drink other than weekends. Latly though he has been drinking everynight to the point that he doesn't remember what has happened the night before. Last Friday he thanked me for picking him up on Thursday night and I said what are you talking about I never picked you up. He has no idea how he got back but thought it was funny. This guy is one of my best friends who yes is a goofball but has always been there and called and checked on me when I am having problems. Now what do I do about all his drinking. It really scares me that he doesn't remember things that happen. He is a great guy but he has never drank this much this often. What do you think I should do? I should also mention when I expressed some concern one other time he just blew it off and told me to stop worrying but how can you when your friend texts you every night saying he is either drinking or wasted. Any advice would be great.

all you can do is talk about it with him hopefully he won't drive drunk

That's the thing is I know he has before and there was only one time he ever called me to get him and that's when I started to notice the change in him from just drinking occasionally to every night. I'm just worried about him you know he is one of my best friends.

he better becarful as he can get alcohol poison
i had a cousin that was partying with his sisters and something happen where he ended up in the hospitol. he died of alcohol poisoning and he was only 28yrs old he left 3 kids behind and a gf
and the nite before his wake(he was cremated) his sistera, and mom were partying the nite before and of course they came in with hangover. such idiots. thinkig they didnt learn there lesson on what happened

It sounds like your friend has definitely developed a drinking problem. Talk to him about it let him know you think he is developing a serious drinking problem. You might want to suggest going to an AA meeting or to a alcohol treatment facility. He may not do either if he isn't ready. The best thing for you to do is not to be afraid to let him know how you feel and be supportive. Feel free to email me I work at a alcohol/drug treatment center.

Definitely be honest with him about your concerns but know, there's nothing you can do about it. Only he can and only he will when he's darn good and ready to admit he has a problem. The hard part is, you might just have to walk away. You cannot allow a problem like this to effect your life and peace of mind. Because the only control you have is over you. It sucks but ask anyone who's ever had to deal with an alcoholic or drug addict, there are impossible choices to make.

It this is a definite change in behavior, something may have happened to trigger it. But he may not be ready or willing to talk about it. People typically don't drastically change their drinking behavior out of the blue for no reason at all.

Tell him you're worried about him, that you think that he has a problem and that he can talk to you about anything, that you won't judge or be critical of what he says but that you do want to help.

So an update. My friend is no longer speaking to me because I thought he needed to get help. But I did what I thought was best and I know he will come around eventually but it has to be him not me. Thanks for all the advice though.

you cant help him till he realizes and admits he has a problem and wants help. sometimes that takes rock buttom

That is a very typical reaction for an addict, they're in denial though most of the time, they know there's something wrong. When they're called on it, they get very defensive and tend to shut that person out of their life. That way they can still be in denial and lay the responsibility at your feet, instead of their own.

I know it probably hurts but you did do the right thing, for yourself and for him. He may very well have heard what you were saying and may take it to heart, maybe not right away but someday.

Iabeam most important thing is don't try to fix him . he has to decide that on his own. tell him that if he wants to talk u are there for him let him come up with what he fells is the fix for him. I am stuggling with this abuse to.

God, your friend need you so badly, tea time with some good dialogue , new friendships and solitude along with depression are some factors.

ALL YOU CAN DO IS EXPRESS YOUR CONCENS AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND.

If he is not willing to go into detox, rehab, and out patient follow-up, along with AA meetings, I'd detach with love, although I know how difficult and painful that will be for you.

Alanon. You can't fix him.

"Alcohol"

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

[Repeat 1st Chorus]

As angel put it gently, I was thinking along the lines of suggesting that you may have to be the friend he loses until he stops destroying himself. I didn't stop drinking until I had come to an awareness of how little I really had emotionally, how much of a lie my life was, how much I lost financially, and until I had thouroughly beaten the hell out of myself.

Thankfully, that was a couple thousand days ago. More often than not, any help we give to someone who is on the road of alcoholism isn't really helping them, it's actually hurting them. An alcoholic needs to feel the consequences of their drinking and doesn't benefit from someone picking them up, unless it's the one time they're really ready to stop. None of this is an original idea, just facts.

i think the guy will change his tunes once he gets a dui...i've had quite a few friends that understood they had a problem once they received it..

roco

So, a periodic or potential alcoholic.


Okay, so normal drinkers don't have blackouts, and this is a clear sign of abuse. I met one person who was an extreme case acquired a bachelor's degree, entirely in a blackout. Sober, he had little if any knowledge from his education.


The only thing you can do about his drinking is let him know what you think of it, and let him make his own decision on the issue. There are times when I actually not only stop helping someone I know to have a problem with drinking, but also distance myself from them because any help I would give the person wouldn't really be helping to them. Sometimes, it takes real consequences that no one rescues us from to get it.




Well, when someone, or anyone calls me drunk, I let them know to sleep it off and then we'll talk. If they don't get the hint, I hang up on them. Since I've been in this small town, I've witnessed at least 4 people who have died from alcoholism, and know of one person who is now incarcerated and dying. Fear of death normally doesn't usually get any of us real alcoholics to stop, but losing things and suffering can. Losing friends, property, freedom. Being a real friend to someone with a problem often means letting them fall down, and being there for them when they're ready. Identifying their readiness is the difficult task, but if they're honest, good or bad, it's a good sign. He's probably not done lying to himself.