You've all heard the "You know you are a red neck jokes?"

Well this is for

You know you're in a cult when.....

___________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when the initiation involves group sex.

___________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when the chapel has guards with guns stationed outside of your door.

___________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when your group all practice drinking a suicide cocktail every at Friday night service.
_____________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when your guru insists that he have a joint bank account with each and every member.
_______________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when you have to ask permission to get married and your guru gets to spend the first night with the bride to purify her and prepare her for marriage.
______________________________________________________

You know you're in a cult when you are taught that you must always obey and never question your guru.. or you will be severely punished.

________________________________________________


Anyone have any more? Put them in this thread.

Have fun.

You know you're in a cult when you are told that one day you may have to fight and die for your beliefs, and then they issue everyone automatic weapons.

.

You know you are in a cult when your daughter has to marry one of the elders at age 12.

You know you're in a cult when you have to shave your head and wear robes and pass out flowers at a public airport.

You know you're in cult when you are looking forward to the Hale Bob comment to come back around because you missed it the last time.

You know you're in a cult when your leading guru spends most of his time in a cigar shaped space ship hiding behind the moon.

You know you're in a cult when the object of your worship are light beings you have never seen in person, but you are given badly painted portraits of what they look like.

If it looks like a Mormon Field trip to Jonestown, you might have joined a cult.

You know you are in a cult when your dynamic leader reveals to everyone that he is Jesus Christ returned.


You know you're mixed up in a cult when you are approached for your DNA sample so that you can get your clone underway.

You may have joined a cult if they ask you to prove your faith by killing your parents.


You may have joined a cult if you are asked to recruit new members with sex and drugs.


You may have joined a cult if you find yourself signing over all your property in exchange for a trip to the home planet in the mothership.

awwww crap!!

You may realize you are in a cult when you learn that the females are required to bare the leading guru's children and the males must undergo neutering.


You are probably involved in a cult if they ask you to relocate permanently into an underground city complex and tell you that the world is coming to an end and your new purpose is to repopulate the earth after the carnage is over.

You know you're in a cult when everyone is issued matching tennis shoes.

You may be involved with a cult if the church is located in a remote area and service involves beating yourself up with whips and chains until the floor is covered with blood.


You may have bumped into the activities of a cult when you are surrounded by scary looking men with shotguns who threaten to kill you if you tell anyone what you just witnessed.


You may be involved in a cult if people are dancing with snakes, screaming gibberish, puking, fainting or having sex in a corn field.

You are definitely in a cult if you are required to offer your first born as a sacrifice to the evil one.

You know you're in a cult when your church has an armory.

You are way above your head involved with a cult when they take you to meet your clone.

You are involved in a cult if in taking communion you really are eating flesh and drinking blood.