I'm 19 with a 4 1/2 month old and it seems like everyone's criticizing me for trying to start a new relationship. It's like they jump to conclusions and assume that I'm some slut who has babies with guys and doesn't stick with the father and it's so annoying. I'm trying to do what I need to do to be happy and it's like they're trying to sh!t all over it.

PS: Our relationship lasted for over 2 years, so it's not like I just met some random guy and got pregnant. FYI.

What are your thoughts/feelings on the situation? Be honest please.

my thoughts are live for yourself

I say it's your life, that doesn't mean you can be a hoe but..ya know..anyway that totally sounds wrong.

If you have time to date with raising a baby and working I say go for it hon.

Don't let what others say rain on your parade. Heck you are going to have that child for a very long time. Why be alone in raising her.

just make sure the baby comes first lol

the only thing i care about is what i wanna hear

Well, having a baby and being a single mom is hard and stressful enough. Maybe they just think you getting into a relationship is just going to add to that stress.

I didn't find out I was pregnant until after we broke up, so I ended up being a single mom with no support from him. Then after having my child, I was completely overwhelmed, and decided myself that the last thing I needed was to get involved with someone. I waited until she was almost 3 years old before I started dating again. But that's just me and everyone is different.

try being a single dad it's twice as bad as a single mom i think anyway

I probably wouldn't start a relationship with a woman with a baby but goodluck

i was 19 when i had my daughter, so i know how it feels to be a single parent at a teenager..
my daughter was 14 when she had her son. she 25 now with 3 kids

Well, that's because you men still have society fighting against you. A lot of people can't accept the fact that a single dad can do the job just as well as a single mom!

i think that in order to be an effective parent, the mother (and the father) need to take time out for themselves, and that would include dating.

i wouldn't do it often, and i wouldn't have the men over to the house, but if you have a supportive family who would babysit, i would definitely treat myself to a night of fun here and there.

congratulations on the baby!

thank you

Its a hard situation. I dated someone over a yr and he broke up w/ me the second I told him I was pregnant. I met a friend of a friend 6 wks after I had my daughter and we dated a yr and a half. It was hard for him to understand my baby comes first. I also decided to go back to school full time when my lil one was a yr old. the relationship ended because he didnt understand my priority was my child and educating my self so i didnt have to depend on anyone. I have dated on and off the last 3 yrs and my advice from expierence is to focus on your baby and yourself. There is plenty of time for guys once your in a better place and your kid is older ( you will have more time for yourself)
good luck in whatever you do. Just remember when times get rough and lonely- you have someone who loves you unconditionaly and looks up to you.

Your welcome

Honestly, your baby is 4 1/2 months old. You are 19 and still young. Right now you should not be looking for a relationship, you should thinking about you and that baby. You do not need a man to make you happy you have a beautiful little boy to do that for you.

with a young child, dating is fine. once the child hits around 2 or so, I'd do my best to keep guys away from the kid.

i really don't think it's fair or good for the kid to keep seeing different guys around every so often.

Everyone makes terrible decisions based off a moments notice, a child would scare most guys in your age range. Usually this fear sparks them to make some dumb offensive comment, fear sparks hate and hate flames to action. Honestly, do whatever you want/need to do and don't pay heed to the one's that want to downplay what you are doing...but I'm a punk, so that has been my life for the better part of it.

The one thing I thought of (since I just started a relationship myself, and the subject came up)... would be to practice birth control if you are going to have sex. I'm sure your baby is a wonderful addition to your life, but if you don't practice birth control, and continue to have sex, you will make another one, and become the exact person you don't want to be in front of your friends and family.

Some women have children by three or four or more fathers. I don't think you want to become one of those statistics. Birth control will help you remain the person you desire to be.

And I agree with the poster who said you have no business looking for another relationship right now. You've got enough on your personal busy table caring for that small child.

You made the choice to start life this way, and now you are going to have to dig down deep and cope with it in ways that might have not happened this way had you practiced birth control.

Sometimes the best birth control is two aspirins clenched tightly between the knees...

I might suggest... the best thing to do right now while the baby is young, is to get your butt in college and get some education so that you can give this baby a life. Not sure what that education might be, but I would suggest that you seek it fast and furious and quick. The new semester at colleges starts (usually) in January... from right now you have about 2 months to get all of the financial aid stuff out of the way, get registered, find day care, and get in class.

Don't try relying on mom and dad, grandpa and grandma, aunts and uncles (or even the father) for help... you go make something out of yourself and for your baby. Find a guidance counselor at the college, tell them your story, and they can help you find the path... that's what they are there for...

You'll look back on this one day, with a beautiful child in your life, and it will have been an excellent experience. I admit you have your work cut out for you, but God can give us Grace when we least expect it to do all kinds of things we did not think we could ever do...

Take care,



TM

I tried dating when my son was that small, and all I did was take unnecessary time away from him. Wait until your baby is older, he/she needs you around all the time. I know it feels like your whole life revolves around your baby, but that is how it should be right now. It can be overwhelming going from a non parent to a single mother, believe me i know...but it will get better once he is older. Right now your baby is so new to the world, that he/she needs to bond with you and that is a FULL time job!