Those that remember that I kind of had a thing for my japanese tutor but had no idea how she felt, this is an update.

So last night she came over and stayed hanging out and watching movies and talking for say 11 hours lol. I brought her home and she sat in the car for a while and was kind of asking about hugging etc. Based on some discussion we had earlier I was curious if she wanted more but was shy or indecisive. I ended up telling her that I liked her and grabbed her hand, she thought about it and ended up inviting me in.

We didn't got all the way ( i think the only reason was my lack of a condom). Man, just the stuff she whispered in my ear and then her random expression in japanese (which were funny because sometimes I knew what they meant and she got embarrased)

So I had dropped her off at 1 and it was about 4 and I wanted to stay, and she wanted me to stay, but she had lots of work to do and wasnt sure it was a good idea. So she held me and kissed me for a while in the room, then outside the door to her aprt again, then came after me at the bottom of the stairs to do it again and between breathes she whispered how glad she was that she was finally able to kiss me.

All and all a good day. When I first brought her home I didn't even know if she was interested and now... wow. Too bad I can't see her until Thursday.

awww that is so nice for you doll, just don't rush things

That's great!! Best wishes!!

Lucky you, have fun!

I wasnt the one setting the pace lol. Apparently we had both been in the same boat, no knowing if the other person liked us, and even before I came upstairs she didn't know if she wanted to date because I was her student. I kind of sat down and held her and then she wanted to hug, well it was a pretty passionate hug and it kind of moved on from there. (that being said, I am not sure if we are dating, but I am not going to press the subject right now)

She would always ask me if I thought it was too far, and even told me if I regretted in the morning that I could just pretend it was a dream, yet I explained I was right where I wanted to be.

IDK, this was just a way better experience than I could have hoped for. Like, I could have had sex, but that wasn't what was on my mind (if you get what I am saying). Maybe there is something really special about this one, only time will tell.

That is what I mean, take things at a pace you are both comfortable with. It is obvious that you really like this girl and it is not just a chance to have sex. Honesty and open communication is the key. Have fun and enjoy your time with her.

Good for you young man.

I know that I am going to take some hits for this one, but here goes.

Yes, men and women can have a relationship as friends without there being any sex between the two of you.I have had quite a few of these type relationships in my life. It`s great just hanging out with a lady, having a great time chillin, and not having any other pressure there. I`m sure that you understand what I mean.

If your relationship goes beyond just the friendship phase, also good for the both of you, that you have discovered that there is more to your relationship.

I wish the 2 of you the best of luck. I also agree with what ((( patti))) plk1966 before posted before me.

Dude. Two things that you said " I was right where I wanted to be " and sex wasn't what was on your mind at that point, shows a lot about how much you actually do like her.

When you can be with someone, and feel the way you did when you were there, that is a level that is sometimes really tough to find.

Best of luck, man.

Thanks, she was supposed to be too busy to see me today, but she called and said she missed me and was wondering if I could go see her for an hour. So I am going to do that tonight.

ANd how far do you have to go to see her for that hour??

About 7 miles. That one hour ended up being 4.5. Apparently she still doesnt know if she wants to date me. From what she tells me, in her eyes, relationships always end and she doesnt want to lose me. She also doesnt know if she can be my gf and my tutor.

I told her she doesnt have to decide now since we havent known each other that long, but I did say if we went down the friends road we wouldn't be able to do all the other stuff we have been doing (making out, and all that other stuff that I dont need to go into detail about).

(apparently she had a bad relationship with the other white guy she dated and told me she was traumatized by it. She said I kind of reminder her of him because he was also a nice guy. This might take a while *sigh*)

Better to take a while and enjoy it then to rush and find that it is not all as seems.

Thats why I wrote her an email today saying we dont have to decide anything or label our relationship as anything. I am just happy how things are.

again, i will offer the same advice as your initial post....


"stick your tongue in her ear"




or maybe you did.....

Whoot whoot! Go buy a case of Lifestyles and enjoy that happy butterflies feeling.

Don't you dare stick your tongue in her ear, either. If a guy did that to me, I'd smack him.

Well, she called me last night and said we couldnt date because she was my tutor and because she is 28 (which I didn't know but I dont care). She said she really cares about meand if it was not for the age or the tutoring we would date. Her phone died after an hour and a half and she called me later, but I told her I was sleeping (cause I was). She then wrote me this email.


I hope you are not upset with me from our conversation tonight.

You are a really nice, sincere, honest person.
I already deceived you, took advantage over you by hiding who really I am. I also, exploited your kindness and affection only for my pleasure.
I am really sorry about that.
I guess, if I choose whatever 'I' like to do as I want, it would lead you into the dead end which deprive all of great, precious possibilities and qualities you have now. I should not do that. Even if you say you do not mind, still I know it is not a right thing for you. I do mind to let you do things which just ruin you and your life. And if, I, or because of me, you turn your life in that way, I cannot help blaming myself.

I still dream about chatting, laughing with you, and sometimes kissing you when I find you really cute, relaxing, laying next to and feeling each other close. But, it's really a selfish dream, which I should have not made it true.
Since the last weekend, after the movie, I was wishing, 'if it is dream, never wake me up, and if it is not dream, never let me sleep.' :) But, surely it was too good to happen, so, I had to wake up. I met a really nice person who I can trust and respect, and he likes me without any reason and under any condition, and he tells me he does. Do you believe such a thing can really happen? Honestly, I miss you a lot. And... I know I shouldn't. I am not sure, I can stay away from you, not thinking about you. It would be painful, when you behave as a normal friend, no more interested in me. Still, I have to deal with it, because, it should never had happened to me from the start.

I really wish, if I could be free from all of my concerns. If I was younger, American, not your tutor, or totally different person who does not care about these things at all,... But this is me, very unfortunately. It looks now is around the time you realize who really I am. More serious, kind and honest you are to me, more guilty I feel. If you were the person who just plays the games, I might feel less guilty. But, if you were that kind a person, I might not have been interested in you at all.
I cannot hug you anymore? No? That's really...

Sorry about this message. But this is what I am thinking now. I guess, soon you will find me as a pathetic loser, with your truly gorgeous girlfriend. And, it is sadly true me.



I dont know what to do. It seems she really cares for me and I care for her but this isnt going to happen.

oh 23 i see... hopefully at 43 not so much info im glad it went well but too much info like we care to hear the details? maybe your 18 yr old friends would enjoy more

Wow, thanks for making a mockery of my pain. I only posted all that to show why I think she cares so much about me. That is her original writing with no editing.

..man, some heavy stuff she unloaded on that mail, my take -- i think this is well past just tutor/student relationships..advice - be assertive and go after her..she is indecisive..help make the decision easier for her, its obvious she likes you man.

roco