My ex (live-in girlfriend of only four years) just called me. Just to talk and tell me how everyones doing. Ask about me, etc. We still talk a good bit even after breaking up Feb 14th 2004.
Yes, Valentines day!

I recall that, when we were together, when my ex (live-in girlfriend of 14 years) called me, she got fairly upset.So much so that I asked the former to only call me at work if she needed to talk. Now this one calls me a few times a month at least. And the one before her, every few months...maybe 3 times a year.

It's easy to understand that someone would be upset if I was the cheating type or if I was whispering sweet nothings. (Why are those called nothings?). But I never did that and have never ever cheated on a woman or left one for another. Or gone with another that she even knew. I just wouldn't do that and she knew it.

I hear lots of people talking about hating thier exes, calling them bastards and *****es. Never understood how you can love someone and let it go that badly. I left mine of 14 years and gave her the house that I bought for us and one of the cars. I still pay the taxes on it. I wanted her to be well and happy. Thats all.

But my question is this:

Do you ladies think it's wrong to love someone and care that they are OK..and even be willing to help them if they are in a bind, after you've broken up? And, if you can pin it down...why?

You know what they say about your x,

best way to get over her is get under and new 1

I don't know about all that personally not hearing from mine feels great in fact I may just have mine blocked

I don't think it's wrong to love and care about them after you're broken up. You can't fight your feelings.

you know it is funny how you love someone and then hate them to the point of wishing they would fall from the face of the earth,thats why when it comes to relationships there is a fine line between love and hate,sad but true

My last ex was trouble. I wont go into all the details of course but it was a very bad situation towards the end and I was forced into getting a restraining order (recommended by an officer who arrested him) but that only resulted in him becoming even more angry and violent with me.

I ended up fleeing the area. So in that sense, I would want nothing to do with him ever again but that is the extreme case.

I was with my ex for 11 1/2 years and caught him cheating. I am done with him now. Just get over them and move on. Life is to short for the petty bull.

I don't believe all relationship have to end in hate sometimes you just have no control best to just accept

I think once you love somebody it never goes away. And I think its great when two people can split up and still remain friends(ish). Just dont let yourself be walked all over.

I think it is okay to a certain extent. When you find yourself in a new relationship you should naturally reassess your priorities. As should they.

OK. Thanks for the replies. I'm surely "over" them but still just care that they're doing ok. And I don't recall ever calling them..only calling back. But I may have.

And the re-assesing priorities is something to think about. I don't think I ever took from mine to give to my ex but I understand.

Mine never did anything bad like cheat or lie and I sure didn't so I don't have any point of reference for that. But I guess if she was an evil person, had done me wrong or was dangerous, I would not talk.

Thanks again everyone. I'm getting some sun and letting another 100 folks talk in place of me. lol

have a great day.

I have no problem with someone still being friends with their ex.

Its funny this topic got brought up because I watched a re-run of Seinfeld just last night and it was a girl Jerry was seeing who was pissed off because of that "dynamic" that exists between Jerry and Elaine. Of course its been stated on the show that Jerry and Elaine were boyfriend and girlfriend at one point. Well this new lady wasn't having it at all.

this is indeed truth

I think that if you really loved your ex and they really loved you it will always be there (the love) to a certain point. They might have hurt you and did things that you wish had never happened but in the end you loved her/him before why should you hate them now , it might not work anymore but you can hope for a better life for her/him in the future and try to be the bigger person. Hating the ex doesn't bring anything to you only pain, you might not want to have contact with them and that is ok but if you have a good heart you'll want to help if need be. You have to make sure your new lover is ok with it, she/he is the one that counts now but if she/he loves you and knows you really love them then the ex shouldn't be a problem.


My humble opinion.

This is a tough Montel topic!

I do believe that two can stay "friends" after a break up. however there is the dynamic of new people that one dates after wards.

We all know that jealousy and insecurities will jump up!

I can say on a personal note that you still have some feelings for the ex! Valentines Day! OUCH!!

Forget 'em.

There's obviously a reason they're an "ex".

This lady offered some very excellent and practical real world advice. It is fine to perhaps stay on friendly terms with these ex-girlfriends however your explicit attention and focus NEEDS to be on the woman who is present in your life right now. I would say this also applies to your new girlfriend.

You could pose the question to yourself, how would you feel if your current girlfriend was making phone calls (or accepting) phone calls from an ex lover of hers? If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you honestly feel?

Gotta say.....sure I hate plenty of my exe's and wouldn't pee in thier mouths if thier teeth were on fire.

However, I recently reestablished contact with my first true love. Sure she was an ex but, it was one of those things where our personal situations seperated us...not anger. I have always cared for her. After 16 years she got hold of me last weekend ....it was friggin awesome. We are hooking back up when she ends her job overseas. I couldn't be happier.

A few exes who I was really close with, they will always have a part of me.