I have been struggling with trying to get close to God, but I don't feel that I am deserving of His love or to have a relationship with Him, because of the hatred in my heart.

I want so much to have a relationship with God, and I feel like my life is incomplete because of not having this relationship. I feel like I am lost and that a part of me is missing. But I just can't get rid of this hatred. Just as I think I am getting close to overcoming it, it starts up again and gets even worse. And the hatred get's so overwhelming at times, it literally feels like my heart is hurting.

I have been trying for many years to get rid of this hatred, 30 years now actually, and I just can't seem to overcome it. I've been to counseling, and have been seeing a therapist for years now, but nothing is helping. When I go to church, I feel like a hypocrite, cause here I am professing to love God, but yet have so much hatred in my heart. And I can't pray to Him, because I don't have a relationship with God, so to me it would be pointless to do so.

So if there is anyone that can help me figure out a way to get rid of this hatred, and get a relationship with God, it would mean alot to me. I just don't know what to do anymore, or what steps I need to take.

I can understand your position. When I left my ex, I had a great deal of hate. I went to my local clergyman for guidance and that is the suggestion I am making to you.

You can get all kinds of help on here but only a clergyman can give you the proper guidance that you seek.

Best wishes

Thanks, but I tried that. And I was told that I had to get rid of the hatred in my heart before I could be accepted into God's Grace. And like I've said, I've been trying, for years to do that. I just can't do it.

Why would you get rid of it... Embrace it.. give it a big 'there, there, thats ok' hug... and it might go away.

Anger and fear create hate.

I don't think it's ever going to go away

I am angry. And the more angrier I get, the more hatred builds up inside of me, which makes me even angrier cause I don't want that!

We all have our likes and dislikes and sometimes hatred creeps in.

The hatred binds you to the person that you hate just as love binds you to the person you love, but hatred eats at you from the inside and it will harm you more than the person you hate.

Hatred destroys the vessel it is kept in. It is like a cancer. It can literally cause serious illness because with that feeling come feelings of guilt, resentment, anger, frustration etc. These are emotions that can damage your health very quickly.

The embracing of that feeling is simply admitting without guilt that.. hey... "I don't like you at all" or saying, "I think you are a despicable person. I don't want you in my life. I hate you because.... etc etc blah blah..

It is okay to decide not to like someone. But leave it at that. As long as your hatred does not cause you to seek to destroy and get even and remain attached to them, just accept that you don't like them and get on with your life.

Lots of people don't like each other or are angry at each other. They usually have a good reason for it too.

What feeds your guilt about this feeling is that you think it makes you a bad person to have this feeling. It doesn't.

The final cure for hatred is understanding and acceptance. If you can't understand why a person is the way they are then understand that they are probably sick and miserable themselves and just accept that.

I have hated a person who I now realize is just sick or insane or otherwise unbalanced and dysfunctional. Don't let yourself be dysfunctional just because someone else is. Understand that you can't fix them or their dysfunction.

Then accept and let it go. You don't have to ever "love" them. Just understand that they have a problem. Don't let it become your problem and don't let your feelings make you ill.

Be well.

JB

With the power of your will you can direct your attention to something else. You can direct your thoughts to something else. You can stop dwelling on the person you hate. You have the power to do that.

Become aware of your thoughts and how you dwell on them. Accept that you don't like that person and stop feeling guilty about that. Get on with your life.

JB

I appreciate what you said Jeannie, but it's so much easier said then done. And I can't accept it and let it go. I've been trying. If I could, I would have done it by now. It's like the hatred has become a part of me. It's there every day, and no matter what I try to do to get rid of it, it's always there.

MsCarmen?

Someone told you wrong( about having to get rid of the hatred, before you could come to God).

Actually...God wants you to come to Him...
JUST... AS... YOU... ARE...
...

and GOD is the One that will then help you get rid of the hatred .

Just Come to Him ....just as you are, Precious.
Then God will help you do the rest.

((((((((MsCarmen)))))))))

But how can I do that when the Bible clearly states that I can't be saying that I love God, when I am saying I hate my Father. How can I be worthy enough to approach Him and ask Him for help when I bear this hatred?

By saying that you can't you are voicing and visualizing a negative affirmation, and the universe will manifest for you that reality because you have asked for it.

You have asked for it by your statement. "I can't accept and let it go. I've been trying..." You stated that "The hatred has become part of me. It's there every day and no matter what I try to do to get rid of it, it's always there."

This is your affirmation. You stated it. You will create it. When you make such statement that is what you are asking for.

Ask and it is given.

Make different statements. Think different thoughts.

For example look for something in your life you are grateful for. Place your attention on that. Don't "try" just do it.

There is no such thing as "try" there is only do or do not do.

If you refuse to "let go of it" and get on with your life then it is because you choose to do so. You will always do what you choose to do. You are getting some kind of gratification by dwelling on this hatred.

Perhaps it is an improvement from where you once were. Hatred is a step up from a feeling of hopelessness and depression. If so, you are climbing the ladder to better feelings.

Keep climbing.

God Sees You worthy enough.....just as you are....
and God Loves You....Just as You are.

Come to Him Just as you are....FIRST

THEN God will help you overcome anything you need help with, MsCarmen......

Maybe you need to find a different vision of God that doesn't make you feel so unworthy.

Have you considered a religion that isn't based on guilt and shame?

Maybe you are right Jeanie. Maybe I am getting some kind of gratification by feeling this way. It's like I feel like I am entitled to feel this way. And I know that to have a loving and sincere relationship with God, I need to change that. I am just having a very difficult time changing my way of thinking. My father molested me from the time I was 5 years old, til I was 13. I have lived with the nightmares my entire life. My way of living is surrounded by those memories and so is my every day thinking. There is not a day that goes by, that those memories don't have an impact on me, or my every day decisions. And I hate him for that. There is no other word to describe it. And to me, using any other word to describe how I feel about him, would just be a lie.

What religion are you referring to? Honestly, I thought all religions taught this.

What / who are you hating?

Do you think God is pleased with your father?

You have every right to hate your father for what he did. What he did was wrong. Period amen.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things.

I know of two books which might help...

Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
Hatred: The Psychological Descent Into Violence by Willard Gaylin