Agreed....she has a legit reason to be the way she is.. otherwise some people are just simply mean, thats it.. no big dramatic reasons aka excuses.. theyre just mean!!!

i dated a girl with severe bi-polar once

you don't know me bro and that's pretty damn ignorant to tell someone who's seeking an answer that they're pathetic. If you didn't have anything helpful to say, then maybe you should've just moved on. And the reason it matters is partly because I'm a man with pride and partly because I still love her and now that she's single I wanted to talk to her.

lol, def. awesome man!! she's on her way (2 kids with 2 different dad's and a little weight gain)

She will be back after she gets pregnant and dumped. You'll be her fallback sucker guy if you are willing to accept that role.

She's already gotten pregnant and dumped twice.lol And I've never been a sucker and I never will.

Why would you worry about that, man? Go on with your life...

I can relate from personal experience to everything you wrote about, because it recently happened to me.

Now let me preface by saying I can identify "borderline personality" disorder. I can also identify Bi-Polar and others. My GF was far nmore complex, and yet subtle.

She would give a lot of mixed messages. She would ask me to sleep overnight, go shopping for funiture with her, snuggle watching a DVD, grab my hand while we were walking; and this was all things I liked.

But she had a lot of subtle and yet obsessive quirks. She was a clean freak. She would only eat chicken. Things like that. She would go out of her way to do favours for people, and yet (I now realize), she would silently resent doing it.

When she visited my home the first time, she blurted out that it wasn't large enough for "both of us". So I said I could sell it and we could buy a larger home together. She then flipped and said "I was crowding her".

I could go on, but I'm just paiting the pix that its easy to arm chair quaterback offer an opinion. But not so easy to identify/ deal with it when you are personally involved.

Anyway, while I was with her, I gradually noticed her behaviors. I wasn't too alarmed, partly because I thought I could cajole and coax her with patience and discussions. I loved her and was willing to partly work to understand, and partly accept her foibles as a part of life, because no one is perfect.

I now understand she is incapable of ever having a real love relationship. And in her heart, she probably knows that too. And yet she is lonely, and wants LIMITED companionship; as long as it doesn't make her emotionally vulnerable in the slightest degree.

Well, its over, even though I tried to discuss it with her. And its left a hole in my heart that will take some time to heal.

So to the people who haven't experienced what Interpid00 has gone though, I would say you'll never understand until this particular situation until it has happened to you.

Ralph

..it has happened to me..and for intrepid to go back in that situation knowing full well the situation and harmful consequences thereof is downright unreasonable..if not..well..pathetic..i stand behind what i said. What reasonable person would want to go through such things again. I understand that love will do funny things to people...but at the same time..i also understand that it can do harmful things to people as well...if you want to re-enter into a harmful relationship, be my guest..but i strongly suspect you will come out at the short end of the stick - again..

roco

p.s. -- i was with someone that was clinically diagnosed with manic bipolar disorder..and i think i was too...we were together for so long because we understood each other like no other..the highs had no ceiling..we would soar to heaven together..the lows had no floor..we would go to the abyss of hell together...unless your fully prepared to experience these things with her, don't bother...there is no safety net...its a very risky endeavor..

Chaotic, disorder, kinda like being caught in the middle of a storm or a natural disaster of some sort. Nothing in it you can take hold of to calm it down and make it make sense again. You just have to let it run it's course.

As for the borderline personality disorder.... had a good friend in college who after college her mother got diagnosed with it. The interesting thing is in the letter she sent me about it, every thing she described about her mother also fit her perfectly. Especially after she was married and had kids.

It made me wonder if she also had the disorder, or how much of it was learned behavior from growing up with her mother. Which made me wonder how much of this disorder is really a disorder or if it is a pattern of learned behaviour being passed along, parent to child in a long generational path......

I have never dated people that I knew had issues of that nature. After a year in college with a dual diagnosis roommate, (bi-polar with paranoid schitzophrenia) I know that it is more than I want to have to deal with so I don't pursue relationships.

I do have friends with different issues. But that is different than getting into a relationship and trying to see a future with a person who can't be on the same page as you.

There is never just one "sick" person in a relationship, there must always be two.
A "whole" person will never have a love (romantic) relationship with a "sick" individual. "Whole" people only hook up with "whole" people, "sick" with "sick".
If one of the people in a "sick"-"sick" relationship starts to heal, the other will leave. The healing individual will always want to keep the relationship going by trying to help the other, which of course the other doesn't want. The one that won't heal always says something like; "I'm OK, your the one who needs help! You go and get yourself fixed and we will get along just fine"
I's similar to the law of attraction. If you are "whole" you will only attract "whole" people.
If you are in a relationship with a "sick" person, then you need a life adjustment (help) yourself.
Best wishes to you and to me, as we all need help in finding that one person(s) - that special someone - is what most of our hunger is about. May we all be well feed.

I agree but part of it was I felt like I could "save" her or something stupid.

damn women sometimes