Community > General Discussion

Topic: Is asking
Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Wed 10/15/08 05:52 PM
for help (of any knd) difficult for you? And on the flip side, is it difficult for you to offer, if someone doesn't ask? I really really don't like to ask for help, but I offer it quite frequently...well, at times I offer it.

OneMoreTimeAround Joined Tue 09/04/07 Posts: 3649	Wed 10/15/08 05:54 PM Edited by OneMoreTimeAround on Wed 10/15/08 05:56 PM
If we can't get the courage to ask, or if we're always thinking the other person can't or doesn't want to understand, or that maybe we're putting an undue burden on the other person, then how are we ever to know for sure what the other person needs? There's a difference to, in helping and enabling. I use to want to try to "fix" everything and everyone. That isn't what it's all about. When someone is offered several solutions but constantly takes no action, then they're not asking for help...they're asking for something else entirely. I think sometimes our reason for BEING, as another poster worded it better...was to be a community of support (help). He said it much better. Either way, I posted this thread because sometimes people want help, but are just too afraid, or "stubborn" (another poster's words) to ask. And I never know when to offer or wait! (I often come thru the back door because I'm sometimes afraid to walk in the front.)

aztmom Joined Thu 09/04/08 Posts: 184	Wed 10/15/08 05:55 PM
If we can't get the courage to ask, or if we're always thinking the other person can't or doesn't want to understand, or that maybe we're putting an undue burden on the other person, then how are we ever to know for sure what the other person needs? There's a difference to, in helping and enabling. I use to want to try to "fix" everything and everyone. That isn't what it's all about. When someone is offered several solutions but constantly takes no action, then they're not asking for help...they're asking for something else entirely. I think sometimes our reason for BEING, as another poster worded it better...was to be a community of support (help). He said it much better. Either way, I posted this thread becomes sometimes people want help, but are just too afraid, or "stubborn" (another poster's words) to ask. And I never know when to offer or wait! I've often found it is better to offer. Even if they refuse it lets them know you care. Sometimes that is enough.

OneMoreTimeAround Joined Tue 09/04/07 Posts: 3649	Wed 10/15/08 06:08 PM
If we can't get the courage to ask, or if we're always thinking the other person can't or doesn't want to understand, or that maybe we're putting an undue burden on the other person, then how are we ever to know for sure what the other person needs? There's a difference to, in helping and enabling. I use to want to try to "fix" everything and everyone. That isn't what it's all about. When someone is offered several solutions but constantly takes no action, then they're not asking for help...they're asking for something else entirely. I think sometimes our reason for BEING, as another poster worded it better...was to be a community of support (help). He said it much better. Either way, I posted this thread becomes sometimes people want help, but are just too afraid, or "stubborn" (another poster's words) to ask. And I never know when to offer or wait! I've often found it is better to offer. Even if they refuse it lets them know you care. Sometimes that is enough. And you did and I will forever be grateful!!!!

aztmom Joined Thu 09/04/08 Posts: 184	Wed 10/15/08 06:11 PM
If we can't get the courage to ask, or if we're always thinking the other person can't or doesn't want to understand, or that maybe we're putting an undue burden on the other person, then how are we ever to know for sure what the other person needs? There's a difference to, in helping and enabling. I use to want to try to "fix" everything and everyone. That isn't what it's all about. When someone is offered several solutions but constantly takes no action, then they're not asking for help...they're asking for something else entirely. I think sometimes our reason for BEING, as another poster worded it better...was to be a community of support (help). He said it much better. Either way, I posted this thread becomes sometimes people want help, but are just too afraid, or "stubborn" (another poster's words) to ask. And I never know when to offer or wait! I've often found it is better to offer. Even if they refuse it lets them know you care. Sometimes that is enough. And you did and I will forever be grateful!!!! Anytime!! A true friend is more precious than anything in this world. I'm so thankful you are my friend!!

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Wed 10/15/08 06:33 PM
I tend not to ask but more than willing to give..........even money

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Wed 10/15/08 07:01 PM
If I can't lift that fridge down a flight of stairs, yep... I ask for help... If my van has a flat battery cause the stoooopid owner left the lights on... (me)... I ask for help with a jump start. As to helping others....it's why I exist.

bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Thu 10/16/08 03:13 AM
Yes, it is hard for me to ask and if I see someone that needs help, I will ask them for help (of any knd) difficult for you? And on the flip side, is it difficult for you to offer, if someone doesn't ask?