But I can't help it. It all started when I started talking to this guy a little over 3 weeks ago. The conversations were great! And although the more I kept talking to him, the more I kept getting excited because we had so much in common, but I still tried to convince myself that there was not a chance in Hell that he would really like someone like me and that there was even a slimmer chance that I could actually be talking to the guy who I'd been looking for the last 15 years. Well, we finally met in person yesterday. He stayed in town for 2 days and we got to spend a lot of time together.

And now, after convincing myself that nothing would become of us, I'm head over heals for him. I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him like crazy. He's done everything that could possibly known to man to convince me that he likes me and that he's serious about pursuing a relationship with me, but now I'm second guessing everything he says.

It's like I'm doing my damnedest to wreck this whole thing. What the heck is wrong with me. Why can't I just accept that this could end up being a good thing, instead of having all these negative thoughts like "he's lost his mind for liking me" or "What on earth would a great guy like this want to have anything to do with me".

Why does this have to be so freaking difficult. Why can't someone just come and tell me, it's going to work out, or it's not!!! It was so much easier when I could care less if I didn't find anyone. Why does starting out a relationship have to be so freaking confusing!! I just want to hit someone right now! I don't know why, I just do! What the hell is wrong with me???????

Stock up on condoms...ribbed for her pleasure

you have the to good to be true syndrome

There is nothing wrong with you- alot of people including me- do that exact thing- just relax and go with the flow- don't analyze it just enjoy the feeling. If it is supposed to be it will. Just have a good time and see what happens. Its all good- you'll see!!

That seems easier said then done.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1 Someone likes Me Thats only the Worst thing that can happen to you Maybe you should try too Date right now on a serious level Mybe just take it very slow, and try understand the things that are happening, and not just feeling If you dont have a Healty Mind, then its not going too work. Just take it slow

Seriously...I've been pushing people away for 8 yrs now...its pretty normal what your doing afraid perhaps to get hurt again??? I know I am

I'm gonna step way out on a limb here.

Let's say your driving down a country road, there are deer by the road side, and the wildflowers are blooming. You get the picture?

But you are looking five miles up the road to see what the next town is.

Two things can happen here. The first thing is you may crash because, even though you are looking far into the future, you aren't really paying attention to the road you are presently on.


The second, and more tragic thing that can happen is you completely miss a beautiful drive in the country because you are too busy wondering how the drive will end.

Do yourself a favor, relax and enjoy the ride. Don't go bumbling blindly into the future and don't ignore the present.

Good Luck

Water too cold? I know it is for me too. I have no idea and I couldn't tell you what to do about it. I'm too scared and pushed it away. You can do what I did or hang in there and try to go through it.

it is easier said than done- true- and I have to make a conscience effort to relax and go with it but you CAN do it

and Etrain is absolutely correct also- noone wants to get hurt - but on the other hand are you willing to give up a potentially wonderful relationship cuz you are afraid?

Yes. Oh, wait. You're talking to Carmen. Sorry.

you are willing to give up the possibility of having a fulfilling relationship because you are afraid of being hurt? thats a shame. Im terrified of being rejected but its happened before and its gonna happen again- I'm just not willing to give up.

Yes, I actually just did. I'm that scared. My ex really did a number on me. In fact, he's texting me right now. He wants sex because his girlfriend dumped him. So, it wasn't bad enough that he cheated on me all those years and treated me like crap, now that we're divorced I'm his backup fvck???

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this thread about me.

You should stop talking to him- you are better than sloppy seconds or thirds or whatever!!! It is his loss and he is a fool!!! he is a Tool!!! You just need time to heal and in order to do that you need to cut off communication with him- im serious- you have to figure out what it is that you need to make you happy- i sound like a armchair psychiatrist but ive been through so much relationship CRAP that i've had to figure it out or go insane.

I know you guys are right. But I'm just so scared. It was so much easier when I just kept pushing every one away. At least then I had some kind of valid excuse, like he was an idiot, or we didn't have enough in common, or just plain stupid excuses like that. But now I can't use those excuses any more, cause they aren't valid with this guy. No matter how I try to analyze it, he ends up being a great guy.

double post.

Don't misunderstand me....I DON'T have sex with him. But, we have contact because of the kids. I have to go pick them up tonight after work and that's why he's texting me. asking me to stay for a beer and "whatever".

But, you're right about one thing. I do have to figure out what I want and need to make me happy. I'm so screwed up I don't even know.

Well, I'm no one to be giving advice, but, Carmen....try and hang in there. You deserve something really special.

So take some time for you-figure out what you need

But seriously Eric, aren't you worried that you could be missing out on that one special person. I know in the back of my mind, that's what I was always thinking when I was sabotaging any one that tried to pursue anything with me.