2 Next
Topic: Yes, I know I'm being rediculuous
Ruth34611's photo
Sat 10/11/08 06:19 AM







it is easier said than done- true- and I have to make a conscience effort to relax and go with it but you CAN do it

and Etrain is absolutely correct also- noone wants to get hurt - but on the other hand are you willing to give up a potentially wonderful relationship cuz you are afraid?


Yes. Oh, wait. You're talking to Carmen. Sorry.
you are willing to give up the possibility of having a fulfilling relationship because you are afraid of being hurt? thats a shame. Im terrified of being rejected but its happened before and its gonna happen again- I'm just not willing to give up.


Yes, I actually just did. I'm that scared. My ex really did a number on me. In fact, he's texting me right now. He wants sex because his girlfriend dumped him. So, it wasn't bad enough that he cheated on me all those years and treated me like crap, now that we're divorced I'm his backup fvck???

laugh Sorry, I didn't mean to make this thread about me.
You should stop talking to him- you are better than sloppy seconds or thirds or whatever!!! It is his loss and he is a fool!!! he is a Tool!!! You just need time to heal and in order to do that you need to cut off communication with him- im serious- you have to figure out what it is that you need to make you happy- i sound like a armchair psychiatrist but ive been through so much relationship CRAP that i've had to figure it out or go insane.


Don't misunderstand me....I DON'T have sex with him. But, we have contact because of the kids. I have to go pick them up tonight after work and that's why he's texting me. asking me to stay for a beer and "whatever".

But, you're right about one thing. I do have to figure out what I want and need to make me happy. I'm so screwed up I don't even know.
So take some time for you-figure out what you need


flowerforyou You're right.

no photo
Sat 10/11/08 06:38 AM
MsCarmen, good for you. Take a big deep breath, let it out and let go. Relax, give this some time, enjoy yourself and your new friend.
Don't panic.
Try your best not to 'write Stephen King novels in your head' about this.

happy

MsCarmen's photo
Sat 10/11/08 06:46 AM

MsCarmen, good for you. Take a big deep breath, let it out and let go. Relax, give this some time, enjoy yourself and your new friend.
Don't panic.
Try your best not to 'write Stephen King novels in your head' about this.

happy


You are absolutely right. I did forget to breathe, and once I did, my head got a lot clearer. And I think the most important lesson I've learned in the last 24 hours is not to let my past rule my future. I need to stop focusing on what might go wrong like it did in the past and start focusing on what could go right this time around. Thank you.flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 10/11/08 06:53 AM
flowerforyou

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 10/11/08 08:32 AM
This is like free group therapy here~ flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 10/11/08 08:53 AM

You are absolutely right. I did forget to breathe, and once I did, my head got a lot clearer. And I think the most important lesson I've learned in the last 24 hours is not to let my past rule my future. I need to stop focusing on what might go wrong like it did in the past and start focusing on what could go right this time around. Thank you.flowerforyou


Don't 'focus' on anything, just take the moments as they come, care-free and unburdened with any thoughts of the past or future. Best of luck to you!flowerforyou

Voluptuous's photo
Sat 10/11/08 02:16 PM
I'm not sure how long you have been single or the amount of times you've been hurt BUT it sounds to me like you haven't spent enough time alone learning to love yourself.
If you love yourself, it is easier to walk away from someone that is hurting you AND much easier to grab on to this man that thinks the world of you and say "I deserve this".

Good luck to youflowerforyou

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sat 10/11/08 02:20 PM
Heartache of a failed relationship does not last as long as the heartache of regret. Trust me, I know... I let a good man get away and it still causes me heartache to this day.

Jess642's photo
Sat 10/11/08 02:24 PM

But I can't help it. It all started when I started talking to this guy a little over 3 weeks ago. The conversations were great! And although the more I kept talking to him, the more I kept getting excited because we had so much in common, but I still tried to convince myself that there was not a chance in Hell that he would really like someone like me and that there was even a slimmer chance that I could actually be talking to the guy who I'd been looking for the last 15 years. Well, we finally met in person yesterday. He stayed in town for 2 days and we got to spend a lot of time together.

And now, after convincing myself that nothing would become of us, I'm head over heals for him. I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him like crazy. He's done everything that could possibly known to man to convince me that he likes me and that he's serious about pursuing a relationship with me, but now I'm second guessing everything he says.

It's like I'm doing my damnedest to wreck this whole thing. What the heck is wrong with me. Why can't I just accept that this could end up being a good thing, instead of having all these negative thoughts like "he's lost his mind for liking me" or "What on earth would a great guy like this want to have anything to do with me".

Why does this have to be so freaking difficult. Why can't someone just come and tell me, it's going to work out, or it's not!!! It was so much easier when I could care less if I didn't find anyone. Why does starting out a relationship have to be so freaking confusing!! I just want to hit someone right now! I don't know why, I just do! What the hell is wrong with me???????


Why have you invested your whole future in someone you met a few weeks ago?

Why not allow it to be whatever it is, cause that's all you really have.?

What it isn't is some movie that you keep editing, that is running through your head.

CHill.

2 Next