Tuck it

I'm sorry, I don't think I saw the thread.

whatever

Okay... now on to my midget story. Everyone ready?

Go for it!

Goof has "insider" details for sale on Lilith.

A little over a year ago I meet this guy from another site for a drink. It was a spontaneous thing, one that just popped up in our first phone conversation.

He was late. As he sits down (reportedly 5'8").... a series of things happen.

1. He looks at my drink and says, "I hope you don't think I'm paying for that. I'm in ketosis and drinking water". [I'd arrived on time and my drink was already paid for]
2. He pats his hair and says, "Sorry I'm late, I ran out of hair gel and had to go buy more"
3. He then looked at his crotch and said, "plus I had to shave". And winked.

Later on (yes, I stayed as it was that atrocious) he asked me if my torso was just longer than his or if my barstool was higher. I replied that in my opinion it was simply the fact that I did not lie about my height like he did. He laughed, as though this wasa joke. I looked at him, deadpan...

So I'm telling this story to Lily's friend, and said, "Dude was a midget", he was like Lily's height. [Lily is a petite 5'2]....

But that was not all...

Guess he didn't have to look down to far at his crotch huh?

He then says he moved to rural Ohio (He was about an hour south of me) from a more northern state to sell fire safety equipment to Amish people.

He is in ketosis as the daughter of a woman he last dated (for three weeks) told him he looked fat. I was asked to pinch his stomach {declined}.

When he finds out I work for the courts he tells me all about the TPO his ex wife placed on him and how he violated it. This was followed up by a story of a woman who flew to meet him from another state and took his truck to the police station to report him.

Now mind you, it wasn't him, it was them, as he says.


Goof~
If you sell my insider details I might hurt you. Besides, I might tell on myself. Never know!

Hmmmmmmm. Well, if you sex me up, I will keep the details under lock and key.

This story is great. I am dying here.

I can't make this crap up...

So as we walked out he hugged me and starting running his hands up and down my back like a crazy man. No, like Squidword, and saying, "Ohhhhhhhhhh you feel soooooo good". I deflected him with the "I don't kiss on the first date" line [ not true ] Goof, shuddup....

I got out of there laughing my azz off... he called to ask me out again. I told him I doubted we had much in common and wished him luck.

you know.....

the crazy ones are great in bed!!!







so i've heard

Then I must be psychotic.

On behalf of all men Lilith you have my

Ahh, well.... I wasn't in the mood to file a protection order, you know.



Now Saturday's date was not at all a bust...

on midget story

woohoo on Saturday not being a bust!!! details, details

Well, we talked on the phone the night before, he had to work, so it was off and on from 9 pm to around 7 am.

I felt thirteen.

We made plans to meet for coffee the following afternoon.

He texted me and said he was excited and did I want to meet earlier. Of course, I was excited too and I spent an hour on the phone with Lily telling her how giddy I was.... so I got ready only a few minutes early.

I felt thirteen.









how cool is that???

Very cool, DDN. I'm not the feeling 13 type, as you know.

So I get there right after he does. He gets out of his bright red 'fruck', with his cowboy boots and plaid shirt and this darling baby face... He is 31 but looks 23.

He smiles and hugs me, and he smelled simply devine. He was exactly as tall as he said he was. He joked about it and I said I had not brought my tape measure.

Awwwww. Such a sweet, loving story. I wanna puke.