Are you a member of the Taliban?

(taken from the Guantanamo interrogation guide)

You might be Taliban if -

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your arse with your bare left hand, but consider pork "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that mobile phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase,"I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

This hangs in my friends bathroom.


The latest ploy to drive the Taliban and Al Qaeda out of Iraq and the Mountains of Afghanistan, is to send in a team of highly trained team of..."Redneck Special Forces" (USRSF)

They are being sent in with the following information:

There is no bag limit

The season is open 360 days a year

They taste like chicken

They don't like beer, Our President, country music or Jesus

Some are queer

They don't eat barbeque pork

They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death

...Should be over in about a week

Yep, I agree %100 on that one.

they would never send us rednecks in there because we have a moto....


"kill'em all and let God sort'em out" and the government don't like that i guess

Hmmm, good point.