I got a link to a caring bridge site in an email. It was for a little 3 year old boy who was battling cancer. I don't know the family, barely know the distant relative who sent the email, but something told me to click on the link. This beautiful blue eyed, blond headed boy died today. He died fighting a heart wrenching battle against something no one should have to fight, especially a child.

Having a special needs child myself, I understand medical hardships and the worry/grief you go through as a parent when your kids are chronically ill or disabled. However, I continue to wonder the point in all of it? Every time this happens....and in my circles it happens a lot.....I get more and more pissed off that at the very least, children can't be spared from the agonies of disease.

And although somehow I always make it back to believing, today once again makes me rethink my belief in the Man up above. Today also brings back my own grief over one of my children having such a rough way to go in life and wishing I could take her hardships away from her.

These young parents no longer have a son.....why wasn't he spared?

Your thoughts?

Doesn't seem fair does it.

I have the same thoughts when I go to the cemetary and see the baby graves. My heart goes out to any parent who has lost a child.

Surely doesn't. I'm sure there is a lesson in all of it. Just can't see it right now.

I would be like asking a fiber to see the pattern of the tapestry.

I know, your right.......I guess I was just venting. So sad to see such things happen.

my sister lost her son when he was only weeks old and it crushed me to never have been able to hold my first nephew. I can understand your feelings and i also questioned my faith. I dont know if there is any "good" answer to that. I do know it brought my family closer and i think we appreciated each other and the things you have more. but it didnt help my thoughts on my faith. they say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger trust me i got sick of hearing that. I'm still looking for answers why it happens. if i find an answer i'll let you know as long as you do the same for me. if you need some one to talk to about it you know where to fond me. cant promise answers but i know it helps to talk to someone who has been through something similar.

Thanks so much!! Your very sweet. I know that "what doesn't kill you" line sure does get old. I confess I use it myself sometimes though. I'm sorry your family had to go through that, and your sister..wow....hope she's doing ok now. Your so right, it helps to talk. Even if there are no answers, it helps to talk.

Children suffering never makes sense but I try to focus on my belief that life beyound what we know is probably beyond the primitive pain response. I believe in heaven and that a child that suffers terrible disease gets there sooner just seems fair.

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD
by Edna Massimilla

A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It's time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.

His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.

He may not run or laugh or play,
His thoughts may seem quite far away,
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

This is definitley one of lifes events that troubles me...

Being a Single Dad one of my largest fears is my daughter ever having to fight an illness or injury...

Another reason why I am not a man of religion....If I had it my way, all pain and suffering would be transferred to those that have caused harm to the society...

My heart goes to all parents that have ever suffered from losing a child

Nice Kaalena! Thanks for sharing that.


I think that's why I am always trying to "make memories" with my kids. You just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

No offense but as someone who has lived with chronic pain and at times catesrophic disability and that in my children I can not imagine trying to survie without the peace I have known from my religeous beliefs. Mine is a personal doctrin rather than a formal one issued down from a pulpit. I can also tell you that the tender mercy of a careing parent/spose can soothe like no other. The desire to live, the courage to live, is intertwined with the acceptance of loved ones for all that we are; includeing our differences that some call disabilities. IMHo

Something that might comfort is going to
Guidepostsmag.com and looking up Point Hope. It is about radio personality Delilah. When we feel like we can't do for our kids

I respect your opinion.

I falter in my beliefs at times (as I'm sure most people do) and yes,question my faith.

As far as acceptance....not quite getting your meaning there. Of course I accept my own child who is severely disabled, not only accept but gain great joy and insight from her, she is my little soulmate who teaches me lessons I never thought I could learn. I have fought for she and her sisters rights since they were one day old (twins! 2 and 3 # respectively) and struggling to breathe.

I cannot always have the peace you have and probably will never get to that point, although I'm happy for you that you can have that.

The acceptance I was talking about is the unconditional love you give your child. It is much greater comfort to her than you know. As parents we can't fix everything but if we give our children that one comforting spot to find shelter from the downpour of the trials they face that is a huge thing.

I would add that I am not with out doubts at times. I guess what sustains me is when things are really bad it seems like just then some little sign will come along to remind me that God does in deed still help us even if it isn't in the way we think he should at the moment. It is no secret that I was widowed young. At the time I could not reconcile it in my mind. How could this be God's will? Three years after he passed and things had finally gotten settled down enough I thought I would survive my lawyer sent the last of the documents. In it was and inconspicuous notation in the detailed autopsy. He had a very rare and devistateing genetic disorder that had he lived another decade he would have spent the rest of a normal life span basiclly a prisoner of his own body in severe pain. Suddenly God's grace made sense. So when things don't make sense I try to put things in a perspective that might be much more comrehensive than my own,