What do you do when your kid won't stop talking?


When your kid talks back after EVERY SINGLE instruction you give them, what do you say to get them to change this behavior?


I'm about to scream and pull my hair out. lol

HELP!

Hmmmm, I have one like that...let me know when you find out.

im lucky my kids werent like that

scream and pull THEIR hair out !!!

duct tape..works every time

Well since everyone's being soooo helpful I decided to look it up a bit... and this seemed like pretty good advice. I've tried a couple of these methods before and they worked, I guess I just needed a reminder. Hope this helps someone else with this problem.


http://www.disciplinehelp.com/parent/detail.cfm?behaviorID=104&title=Talks%20Back&step=Action

Prozac, ridlin, mercury based vactinations,these all seem to work well to keep children from talking back, Talking in general, or other things, like thinking about talking back, And thinking in general.

grows up to be Quiet

I agree.They say stuff to get a rise out of you.I just ignore it and usually it takes the wind out of my eight year old's sails.

Hand the child a book. It worked for me. (I was the child that wouldn't stop pestering the parents with questions about EVERYTHING. I'm probably the only child that had photosynthesis explained to her at the age of 4)

still say duct tape is the answer

My son talks back and I ground him. Then he can go to his room and talk to himself. I've also talked back to him and explained this is what he does to me. He did it in class once and had to write an apology letter to the teacher.

It worked for me, as it occurs less now and not again in school.

talking alot and talking back alot are a big difference.

I always tried to make my kids understand how talking back made me feel, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

Been thinking about your delemia and if this is really a constant thing like non-stop for real; and I get there are kids who do this you might want to have your child assessed by a specialist. If your gut tells you something is wrong don't let ANYONE discount you as the most qualified true professionsl on your child. Experienced parents and professionals tend to discount venting because we have ALL been there and don't want to over react.

Take some time a look through family albums and write a comprehensive family medical history. With Ex's try to be cool and watch out for starting WWIII finding who might have contributed what to the genetic soup that is your little darling. Some endocrin problems are very subtle when your child is younger but more obvious as people age. Caught early they are easily treatable and can make parenting a lot more fun.

But BEFORE you schedule the appointment try to document what you are talking about. Keep a journal for a week or so, make and audio tape, even a video tape of your child's behavior. Chances are you have pics on your phone? It is your kid it is allowed. Just keep in mind what you give the doctor becomes a permenant part of his medical record and could show up in court if things are not really cool and custody ever becomes an issue. If you can do so in a way that the child is not aware all the better. This is not a Disney audition you are trying to gather useful information. Many daycares do have video tapes where a specialist could observe your child "independently" from you. Sadly if it is only your problem not many are going to take it too seriously. Bites I know but that is life. If their behavior is really bad at a certain time of day THAT is when you take them in to be assessed. Don't put them to bed early and take them in fresh, rested, fed, mellow, and neat at 8:00 in the morning if they are a wreck by noon and bounceing off the walls. If you threaten or coach your child to behave it is quite likely they will that particular time for sure. Offer your kid normal instruction and don't just turn him loose until the specialist asks you to. They will probably ask you to leave the room;cooperate. Ask grandparent's, the ex-spouse, siblings, babysitters, teacher's, coaches, and sunday school leaders to describe your child's social skills and include examples. It will be a little more productive than asking them to describe his behavior which may come off sounding like tattleing. If you can have them forward their reports to your pediatrician they may be more co-operative. Be prepared for criticism.

Keep a FOOD diary. Includeing any food suppliments, vitamins, condiments, and things they chew on. If your child has pets or "company" in your livng environment Or school or daycare you want to note where and what. Kids don't have the adversion adults do to touching bugs, rats, or lice ridden pidgeons. Describe your child's environment. What kind of bedding, house plants, floor, wall, and ceiling surfaces. What kind of and how old is the heating and air system and how often are the filter's changed. Microscopic spores of mold can make a person testy and could be why your little darling is driving you up the wall. You probably have guessed that I am thinking allergies that could quite likely be affecting your child's impulse control.

Don't freak on me but also get a "hat" so you can get a clean catch urine sample and ask your pediatrician to order a compleat screen. You would be amazed/heartbroken at the number of really young kids who are dipping into a medicine cabinet or what is under your sink. Most parents are compleatly shocked. The rare few who are not are usually suspecting a family member's drug use but you don't want to jump to conclusions until you can PROVE something in court. That is a VERY high threshold. I am not makeing assumptions this is just lots of field work with special kids. (I keep in mind many people read these threads and apply things to their situation.)

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Holy crap, that's way extreme. I wasn't thinking it was some clinical issue, but that it's simply been a product of bad parenting. Because her dad has been the primary caregiver over the last 6 yrs (I've been there in the summers and over the phone every 2-3 days), there have been inconsistencies in parenting styles.

Although we have taught our daughter to speak up when she has concerns (especially regarding what she feels to be an injustice), we obviously have not laid down the difference between asserting yourself and butting in constantly.

Also, I'm having to deal with years of her being trained "not to listen to mom, because she doesn't have any right to run your life." There's this, and the fact that she just moved in with me (who's broke) and away from her dad (who gave her pretty much whatever she wanted). So yeah.

So it's a whole wide range of different things.

Yea it might sound like killing a misquitoe with a baseball bat but if your child has a real problem (even if it is a little one like and allergy that makes her cranky in that after school time ) that is going to be ignored by professionals and you have limited resources (which I expect most single parents to have) it helps to know what you can do to make an appointment with a specialist be more than an expensive introduction or you being blown off.

However it does sound like you have your hands full with what you think the problem is. I wish you luck.

It is not like you will be able to undo that pattern of thinking over night if that is all she has been hearing for all of her life. As she sees that you are not going to give in hopefully it will lessen. Usually behavior you don't like gets worse before it gets better so if it seems to be getting worse don't get too worked up.

Since she went from you, to him, and back to you (really not that unusual) it is possible that she thinks she has control over the changes and has just decided she wants another change (or fears another change) and figures she will torture you until it happens. I am not a big believer in trying to guess what another person is thinking so I would ask and listen to her answer. But she would not be ther first kid to try to get what they think is inevitable over with sooner than later and not actually want to go anywhere. "Kids" tend to talk among themselves and kids bounceing around is not unusual. Often they give themselves power in family dynamics they don't have. Unless she is at or near the age to choose you might be able to calm things down by explaining the rules of the "game".
If you and Dear old Dad have a clear idea what the rules of the game are going to be or can at least agree to a 3 year plan that is her forseeable future.

I have seen a lot of families have really good luck with kids support groups called Rainbows.

Also Parent's without Partner's is a good resource. Some regions actually have conferences or they used to.

Border's has a good list on books addressing parenting after divorce. Write ISBN numbers down and do and inter library loan and save some money. As a student your school is faster. (A great reason for single parent's to get into school is all the perks they can use to suppliment a limited budget; especially the recreation stuff).
My experience is that almost always what you have to address as a parent can wait for you to act rather than react so you are right on course asking questions and developeing a plan.
Resolution of a behavior pattern is usually more sucessful if you substitute a behavior a person likes better. A void is much harder to deal with. Takeing gripes to regular family pow wows rather than at the moment might be more bearable for everyone.
I don't buy that most kids will necessarily think Dad is a better parent on the basis of money because kids rarely understand or value money nearly as much as they understand and value demonstrated committment to them. You may have to look but you can find her "currency" and I don't think it is being treated like an equal when she needs a confident parent in charge of her. My guess is you are doing a lot better job than she or you will admit. I read your profile and I am impressed. Maybe surrounding yourself with some people that like you or are at least not going to shoot you down would help. It is even better if it is someone she might think is cool. I am not suggesting she become best friends with your friends but anyone that would improve your status. Extended family is sometimes useful.
Sounds like "challenge" might be something she sees you or her father expecting wheather she really likes standing up to adults or not. Most kids don't.
I have also found re-enforceing the behavior you like with attention is better than punishing one that drives you up the wall. You may have to act on a moment's notice and not get shocked or iritated when she does an about face. Diving your parents crazy is her job. Insanity is heriditary...lol...you get it from your kids.

Wow, I'd say you really know your resources. Good for you! Thanks for the info and your comments. It's appreciated

My 2 cents, for what it's worth, it sounds like your child might be pushing the boundaries to find out where they are, they're good like that. All I can say is be very consistent about what she's getting away with and let her know what is acceptable to you and what is not. Selective hearing works wonders as well. If you don't teach her to respect you and you don't set boundaries, she will never learn to respect herself and to respect her own boundaries. Good luck