Governmentium

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

Forces, called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons, hold these 312 particles together. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, which would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neurons and deputy neurons, exchange places. In fact Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, (Ld) an element that radiates as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
:)
John

O MY GOSH

That took a lot of work...