I'm curious how many people out there put everything they had in a
relationship just for it to be destroyed by trying to make it work? I
was in a relationship for 5 years, granted there where the good times,
yet there where a fare share of times that it didn't work. Its time for
people to start being real, and stop being fake. Relationships fall
apart for all reasons, so what I'm asking is how far did you go! How
much did you contribute to make it work just to have it fall to pieces
right before you?

i was in a 6 yr, relationship and you could tell that it was falling
apart during the last 1 1/2 -2 yrs. i would continue to so the things
that i always had and try to talk about what was wrong but she said she
didn't know exactly what it was yet when i would try to leave she would
start crying and want me to stay or call me in a couple of days wanting
me to come back.
i got tired of the game because i was doing everything i could and was
getting nothing but grief from her about it so i told her that the
reationship isn't ever going to get better if she can't tell me what she
needs but still wants to take it out on me and that it would be better
for the both of us if i left because it is not the type of relationship
that i would want to stay in for the rest of my life, so i did. she
still calls every now and then saying she wants to be friends but she
ends up starting an argument about things that i did. the only thing is,
i didn't do those things(maybe it was her other boyfriend lol). so the
last time i just ignored her call. i've told her since we broke up that
i don't have time for her bullshit but she still insists on trying to
explain why she acted that way but it always comes back to something i
did(which i didn't do)and i ain't taking responsibility for someone
elses crap.

i found with my nine year marriage that a person can give all they have
and its not gonna make a single bit of difference if the other person
doesnt even try. my ex never once tried durin the whole marriage and it
fell apart hard.

Sounds like a very similar situation in my case Kingster...God!!! I
couldn't do anything or say anything without some acusatory bullshit
insisting I said or did something that I didn't do...

Bottom line, I learned as well that I'm not taking responsiblity for
some elses bullshit...he needed to clean off his own back porch instead
of constantly sweeping off mine. If you know in your heart you have
done all you can do, that's it...you have to let it go. I think it also
helps to be strong willed and not let people especially your significant
other tread all over you. You have to draw the perverbial line in the
sand and stand your ground on what you believe to be right and wrong.


J

Sorry to hear that shit didn't work out.
I say put in all you can to make things work,
know in your heart you did the best you could.
I you know you did the best you could and
they still go there's nothing you can do
but pick up the pieces of your life and move on.
I had this girl I was madly in love with.
Turned out she was cheating on me the whole
time we were together. When I caught her and
confronted her about it she dumped me. I spent
about 2 months makin' a fool of myself chasing after
her ass and I allowed her to fuck my brain up so
bad that it took almost 20 years to finally clean
all the shit outta my head. Yeah I moved on
and met someone else and have been married to her
now for 20 years but that other girl hurt me so
bad that it took away from the quality of
my new relationship and who knows how much
better life woulda been had I not let her get to me
like that. I guess what I'm saying is I can
tell you're hurting but PLEASE learn from my
example and put that girl in your recycle bin
and meet someone who will make you forget
all about her. Don't wallow in the shit.
Find something funny to watch, watch comedy central
laugh your ass off. Do whatever it takes to move on.

Letting go is one of the hardest things in the world to do, especially
when you truly love someone. But what is the alternative...stay and be
miserable knowing you can't fix things? I agree with everything you
said Jimi and sorry you had such a rough time of it. The only thing I
would have to disagree with is the point you made about finding someone
new. When you go through something this traumatic it takes time to
regroup and figure out where your head is at. It's not fair to bring in
a third party until you do. You could end up hurting someone else
completely innocent the same way.

J

I moved 1600 miles in hopes that a new environment would help him
fulfill the promises he had been feeding me for years. We were here six
months and he fucked up so bad that he had to run. Now he wants me to
follow....I feel like a fool. I just want to believe and see the best in
people. But I am so over it! I decided to stay. The anticipation of a
change in the bullshit routine I have been in gives me new hope. Feel
your pain and move on!

i get used to it after a while!! just move on and you will be just fine!

SHIT THIS IS A QUESTION I GOT A GOOD ANSWER FOR.....
I MET WAYNE LAST YEAR IN THE SPRING
WE WHERE INSEPERABLE
I LOVED HIM WITH EVERY SPEC OF MY BEING
AND EVEN WHEN HIS CAR BROKE DOWN I RODE THE GREYHOUND TO BE ABLE TO BE
WITH HIM,SHIT I EVEN HITCHIKED ONE TIME AND HE MADE ME SWEAR TO NEVER DO
IT AGAIN
AS OUR LOVE GREW WE HAD DECIDED FOR ME TO MOVE TO THE STATE HE LIVED IN,
I GAVE UP MY HOME,MY PETS,MY LIFE TO GO TO WHERE HE WAS AND LIVE WITH
SOMEONE WHILE HE WAS LOOKING FOR A PLACE FOR US,MY CHILDREN WITH ME,IN A
HOMELESS SITUATION.
I THOUGHT MY VERY DREAM OF LIFE WAS COMING TRUE
I CALLED HIM ONE DAY AND HE TELLS ME
WE NEED TO BREAK UP,NO WARNING WHAT SO EVER
AND NO REASON WHY.I DID SOME SNOOPING FOR A REASON FOR THIS NIGHTMARE
HAPPENING TO ME,
I FOUND OUT HE WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE THE WHOLE YEAR WE WHERE TOGETHER,I
FELT AS IF I WHERE DREAMING FOR ABOUT 3 DAYS AFTERWARDS,IM STILL STUNNED
9 MONTHS LATER
BUT I CAME BACK HOME,I EVEN GOT MY OLD PLACE BACK AND THE SAME PHONE
NUMBER,BUT IM STILL PICKING UP THE PEICES OF MY SHATTERED HEART,I PUT
EVERYTHING INTO IT ONLY TO BE EMOTIONALLY AND FINACIALLY DESTROYED,I
STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID IT

pretty much, i put everything i have in EVERY relationship that i have,
but it always ends up the guy either cheats on me, or ends up abusive,
rather it be physical or emotional!! i also just have to say Alucard,
your hottt!!

i have to agree with stephanie you are a hottie. you know i was with
this guy for around six or seven months the whole time i was at his
place most of the time. it got to be a routine. i kept a set of cloths
and a tooth brush and makup and anything else i thought i might need
over there. we cuddled, we made sure we worked around each others
schedules. we never really affically said that we were together but he'd
say things like "i need to be in boyfriend traing" or "i'm not fuck'n
anyone else am?". when i first met him thought he was hot, then i got
to be friend and found out he's acutlly a great guy. fell in love wit
him...we were friends two year b4 anything started. then we well i broke
up wit him. i tried to say i was sorry and that i wanted him back but he
said that we wern't ever in a relationship.. that hurt bad . the first
guy that not only cuddled with but the only guy that ever made time for
me and just like me for me and not for the sex. well so i thought. i'm
not so sure if i know him as much as i'd like to think. i'm not sure
what he thought but i know that i'm hurt and it's hard to just pick up
the pieces and go. i've tried finding someone else to make me feel
better but in the end it doesn't work. they didn't cuddle, they didn't
make me feel the way he did. i don't know what to do any more all my
ideas are shot and so is my pationts and hear.

humm I don't know guy all I know is "If you have to stand on your head
to make somebody happy, all you can expect is a big headache". I should
know I been their many time and no matter what you do and have much you
try to make a relationship work if you put 100% and that other person
not even 10% ,you do all the work and the adjustments and you are the
one the always gives in........Well you can imagine the rest.

Some people do not appreciate what they have, they take it for granted,
is a shame because they don't know how lucky they are to have someone by
their side, that loves them, their so many lonely people in the world
that would give anything to fine true love, I know I do.

there was this time i travelled to paris to be with my girlfriend, only
to have her dump me there.

i didnt quite enjoy the trip.
but the eiffel tower was nice.

Andrew Wee
www.WhoIsAndrewWee.com

YUR A FUCKEN RIOT !!!

I agree. Andrew is the riot guy.
One of the many reasons I check back HERE many times a day.

Too offten to care about it anymore.

I'm in to make fiends.

I AGREE,WITH THIS NEXT ONE IM TAKING THINGS EXTREMELY SLOW...I WILL NOT
LET ANYONE DESTROY ME AGAIN...

I think there are poor decisions being made about getting into
relationships. It's like it's an all or nothing decision nowadays.
Especially for young people. Alucard, you were apparently 18 when this
relationship started. I don't think you can even know yourself at that
age, let alone know what another person is about. In your late teens,
early 20s there are many major decisions being made and a lot of change
that can endanger a relationship.
I think you do need to invest a lot into a relationship, but just
because you've had 3 dates and she was good in the sack doesn't mean it
has to be a relationship. There is no crime in being single, dating a
few people and seeing how things work out without throwing all of your
marbles into the ring. If you feel you HAVE to be in a relationship, you
are definitely not ready to be in a relationship.