What would you do if your bf/gf had a ex that was always calling? If it bothered you would you say something about it, and what would you say?

I'd say time for me to leave.

I'd say-

How come your not still together if you have that much to talk about?

I would say "stop that".

it might bother me a bit- depending on WHEN she was calling

i would probably ask why does she keep calling and when are you going to make her stop it? Cuz either you are going to make the calls stop or I will.

now if they had a child together that would change everything.

It depends... how long were they together? How long have they been broken up? Are there children or other circumstances involved that would require they keep in touch?

I guess it would depend on why she is calling.
If they have children together that might be a good reason.
If she is calling for no no good reason then,yes I would tell him it bothers me.

I would tell my BF what I was thinking.......feeling........otherwise why are they my BF?? Of course I would be sharing how I feel, owning my own emotions and jealousies, not blaming him or accusing him.

I have kids with my ex.......so I will be in contact with him often. Also, some people stay friends with their exes. It all depends on how much time is being spent on the phone.......and if I am being left out of neglected on whether it is a problem.

Talk to them about it. Tell them how you feel and if it doesn't stop them leave.

Unless it's about one of my kid's, i do not want to hear from her period. If it is about my kid's, i'm there 100 percent.

It is interesting in how men would handle this and the women would, I would do just as the other women have said, I would talk to him and find out some facts first, before just calling it quits.

I'm just a bit curious...........but why does the majority of people here think that just because someone is an ex..........that it means that this person shouldn't be a part of ur SO other's life?? On what basis do you think this person all of a sudden becomes a nobody to them......someone they were once with??

I personally have no issues with my BF being friends with his exes.........it only becomes a problem when it intrudes on OUR relationship.

Jealousy is an ugly thing to have in ur heart.........and will cause you to lose out on many a good man/woman.

I would never think that I had the right to force someone I love to choose between being with me, or being there for a friend.

NOTE: So long as I was confident that the relationship was over...........IF I wasn't I shouldn't be with him in the first place.

been there done that. Drove me nuts

I am like you, I dont have a problem with him being friends with his ex, I am with mine and we both except that. We dont let either one come between us. I was just wanting to see how others would handle this. Thats why I asked the question.

I have very strick boundries with my ex, he doesn't come over unless he calls first. He only calls to talk to her at night when she goes to bed. I don't get involved with his life, and he doesn't get involved in mine, unless it is warranted and asked for.

I had an ex who was still friends with his ex he would talk to his kids then say "Well we are on our way out to dinner" she then called during dinner to ask what song his grandmother used to sing to his boys when his grandmother was still alive..... (OH F*CK THAT)

One day his boys were over and they and my daughter were playing she and I were talking and my daughter came up and said "Mommy he hit me" I knew it wasn't bad she wasn't crying and his ex said to my daughter "Oh it's ok honey, go back and play" That was the last time I was in the house when she was there.....

This is such a point of contention for me at times, there is a happy medium but the overboard makes me crazy....

That's cool.........I was asking cuz I want to know why others feel that way.

I also wonder if how you would handle this, has an effect on whether you are single or not/or have trouble with relationships.

Ultimately, to try to control anyone, whether it be ur partner or not, is a mistake, imo. All you can truly do in life is control yourself. When you try to place restrictions and ultimatums on others all you are doing is making life harder for yourself...........as you are trying to prevent them from being who they really are....

Sharing how it makes you feel, and letting him decide what to do.......and then judging what he does is a better way to get to know what he is all about.

If she flirts with him, and he talks to her a lot......then it is safe to say that he enjoys the flirting......so it is time for you to make a decision.

However, trying to control his behavior doesn't do anything except cause strife........he obviously hasn't ended the phone calls for a reason......that is what ur concern should be. Is it because he still has feelings for her, is it because she gives him some sort of ego boost, is it because they are still friends, do they have things they truly need to talk about.........does he relate to her as a friend????

Those kinds of things....then make a decision based on what is going on..........rather than trying to control what is going on........as that never works.

At least that is how I would handle it.

I know what you mean, I would never try to control anyone, I know that my boyfriend and I have a good relationship and we talk about alot of things, I did voice my opinion about it when we first started dating, and he handled it. Just as I did for him with my ex. So that was the end of it for us. I guess each person handles it in their own way, maybe not how I would handle it or how someone else would handle it. I was also very interested in finding out that is why I started this topic.

that about sums it up
I went through this

The ex would call all hours of the day and night, because she knew it pissed me off. And most of the time is was nothing concerning the child.

no thanks, not again

I went through that. Turned out, during our 2 yr relationship, he never bothered to tell her that he had a girlfriend. So she never knew she was interfering. Not her fault really, all his. He couldn't cut the apron strings. So to speak.

Oh, for what to do. Move on. The individual allowing all the calling to continue is the one who hasn't moved on enough for a new relationship. Let the person go and find someone else.