I see my stomach hang down and I am filled with self disdain
I wince when I take a step but tell myself I don't feel pain
I get up in the morning questioning if I am even alive
what I want and need are unattainable so why even strive
My emotionless expression is given when my mind is over run
By memories of corn fields, silos and when I used to have fun
now simple joys no longer amuse me
I stay long for women who have abused me
and for all the good luck I had
I got more bad
and that really isn't the luck I want at all

If I won some money I'll tell you how I'd spend it
I'd find a woman with a mouth that felt like velvet
And spend it all just hear I love you and believe it
I'm not satisfied or happy on my own
I just sit in the dark feeling alone
wishing I had a soft warm body that I could make moan

Humming of the vehicles from miles away and crickets are all I hear
so I write on my cigarette "I wish that you were here"
Then light it up and burn the message and take it in
Sometimes you need fire to burn it all away so you can start again
I get so lost with no entertainment just mediocrity and the plain
I feel cozy, safe and at home inside of the cluster insaine
Some people seem too content
Their happiness makes me want to be violent
instead I hide inside my cage
build up sexual frustration and rage
I'm just a monkey jerking off stuck behind four blank walls

I enjoyed this one, as well.
Although, it makes me want to give you a hug...

(((JTstrang)))

Great visuals, like the cigarette message. Hang in there

I could use a hug

Your poem touched me so much that I am
going to write on my cigarette "I wish that you were here" then lite it up and smoke it!