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| Topic: Overreaction, or not? | |
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Yesterday, I was in the river behind my house collecting rocks to shore up the retaining wall. My 22 year old son was supposed to be helping, but after 15 minutes, he left saying he had hurt his neck the night before goofing around with his friends. 'Okay, no problem'. I said. 'See you later.'
So, I work for about 2 hours then start to go back to the house, but I hit an unstable rock as I start to climb out of the river, fall face first & slam my hip & leg on some rocks. I drag my self out, climb up the hill, and eventually make it into the house. I go to my son's room & say 'I fell, can you get me some ice?' He responds by saying, 'Where?' in his most huffy, annoyed tone. I say 'I don't know...the store I guess.' Then, he says, 'Why do we have an ice-maker if we don't use it?' At which point, I walked away saying, 'Don't bother'. I was so hurt by his lack of sympathy. He didn't even ask where I was hurt, if I was okay....nothing. Just whined about being asked to get the ice. I cried most of the rest of the day. About an hour later, he did bring me an ice pack, which he just tossed on my bed without saying anything. He says I totally overreacted, but I still feel that he was inconsiderate, showed no compassion and basically no love. What do you think, should I disown him? |
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I don't think you over reacted at all. I'd like to know why he's still living at home at age 22????
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do what you feel
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He just moved back....still in college, but finishing up locally.
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Yesterday, I was in the river behind my house collecting rocks to shore up the retaining wall. My 22 year old son was supposed to be helping, but after 15 minutes, he left saying he had hurt his neck the night before goofing around with his friends. 'Okay, no problem'. I said. 'See you later.' So, I work for about 2 hours then start to go back to the house, but I hit an unstable rock as I start to climb out of the river, fall face first & slam my hip & leg on some rocks. I drag my self out, climb up the hill, and eventually make it into the house. I go to my son's room & say 'I fell, can you get me some ice?' He responds by saying, 'Where?' in his most huffy, annoyed tone. I say 'I don't know...the store I guess.' Then, he says, 'Why do we have an ice-maker if we don't use it?' At which point, I walked away saying, 'Don't bother'. I was so hurt by his lack of sympathy. He didn't even ask where I was hurt, if I was okay....nothing. Just whined about being asked to get the ice. I cried most of the rest of the day. About an hour later, he did bring me an ice pack, which he just tossed on my bed without saying anything. He says I totally overreacted, but I still feel that he was inconsiderate, showed no compassion and basically no love. What do you think, should I disown him? Sounds like Jr. forgot Honor your father and mother. That is a common attitude in todays society. We have created a generation that takes advantage of every advantage and feel no responsibility to show appreciation. |
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First off , I hope your o.k & That's just wrong for him to be like that towards you, he needs to respect you!!!!
Back in the day I would got the crap beat out of me if I didn't help my mother!! |
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I wouldn't "disown" him, but I would have a serious talk with him about his lack of sympathy and how bad he hurt your feelings.
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Don't disown him, but you do have the right to feel hurt.
Sorry you were hurt, and hope you feel better soon. 
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I think he needs a swift kick in the a$$ for being so inconsiderate.
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Disowning is probably an overreaction, but he certainly showed no consideration for your feelings. He apparently still lives with you and I know my daughter did at that age too. She wasn't working and had a similar attitude. I would come home from work and she would ask me what "I was cooking for dinner," etc. I don't know if it is the generation or what, but try not to take it so seriously. I would sit down and talk to him about it though.
His not helping you was baloney too, so his neck hurt, so what. He needs to be helping if he lives there. Sounds like a cop-out and he wanted to go hang out and watch TV instead. I would have been angry and would have said a lot more than you apparently did. Sounds like he needs an attitude adjustment. Hope you are feeling better today. Take care.
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Tell him he is inconsiderate and needs to find a home of his own. I never have and never will be inconsidrate of my parents. I respect them to much to even think about it. My son was the same way till I told him to leave. He learned to grow up quickly on his own. He found out that his so called friends wouldn't help him. Time for him to be pushed out of the nest and learn how to fly.
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 He needs an attitude adjustment
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I hope you're ok.. lot's of ice and motrin
I bet your son thinks about his actions later, I feel an apology coming on 
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First off , I hope your o.k & That's just wrong for him to be like that towards you, he needs to respect you!!!! Back in the day I would got the crap beat out of me if I didn't help my mother!! See, now that was what I was expecting from HIM! Thanks, my hip & thigh are pretty badly bruised. No short skirts for a while I guess, but otherwise, I'm ok. |
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I don't think you over reacted at all. I'd like to know why he's still living at home at age 22???? heck, one of my brothers is still living at home and hes gonna be 39 in 5 days !!!! go figure !!! |
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I don't think you over reacted at all. I'd like to know why he's still living at home at age 22???? what is wrong with kids living with parents to any age ? |
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Yesterday, I was in the river behind my house collecting rocks to shore up the retaining wall. My 22 year old son was supposed to be helping, but after 15 minutes, he left saying he had hurt his neck the night before goofing around with his friends. 'Okay, no problem'. I said. 'See you later.' So, I work for about 2 hours then start to go back to the house, but I hit an unstable rock as I start to climb out of the river, fall face first & slam my hip & leg on some rocks. I drag my self out, climb up the hill, and eventually make it into the house. I go to my son's room & say 'I fell, can you get me some ice?' He responds by saying, 'Where?' in his most huffy, annoyed tone. I say 'I don't know...the store I guess.' Then, he says, 'Why do we have an ice-maker if we don't use it?' At which point, I walked away saying, 'Don't bother'. I was so hurt by his lack of sympathy. He didn't even ask where I was hurt, if I was okay....nothing. Just whined about being asked to get the ice. I cried most of the rest of the day. About an hour later, he did bring me an ice pack, which he just tossed on my bed without saying anything. He says I totally overreacted, but I still feel that he was inconsiderate, showed no compassion and basically no love. What do you think, should I disown him? He shouldve been a little more understanding.You are his mother !!How mnay times have you kissed his boo-boo's when he was hurt as a little boy ???? |
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I wouldn't "disown" him, but I would have a serious talk with him about his lack of sympathy and how bad he hurt your feelings. before going off on him talk to him......unless you never want to see him again......IMO. on another note....could you be a little dramatic..... I mean was there evidence to injury...like blood or abrasions?? he may have felt it wasnt that bad if he couldnt see anything. |
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Thanks for all your input. Sometimes it helps to get another point of view. What I don't get, is that he's really usually very caring & considerate. But, if I'm hurt or sick something happens. It's almost like he can't stand to think of me being hurt because I'm the strong parental figure. So, he reacts all wrong. At least I know it's not me. I have told him how he hurt me, but right now, he's not getting it. Kids!!!
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Edited by
SKPCG
on
Sat 08/23/08 07:41 PM
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He's obviously THAT self-centered. I can see that from my 12 year old and she gets the lessons when I talk and return her behaviour in kind if needed. It's not your deal at this point as you may be his mother, but he's a grown up now and should know better all by himself. That's just awful. Tell him how you really feel so you don't keep bottling it up and inadvertently giving him the okay to keep treating you so cavalierly. You know you won't disown him, but he needs to be called to task. It's so odd to me that people need to learn compassion at ALL!!! But, evidently they do. So, teach him, and remind him about karma, as what comes around certainly has a humorous and/or nasty way of going around. Charity should AT LEAST begin at home and IT'S HIS TURN!!
God bless you and I hope there are no permenant ramifications from your fall or his poor behaviour. |
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